Somehow I feel that this semester is gonna be different. And whether next sem will be like this I do not know. Friends are many, and its not like we r required to choose only one. I do not see how you can see it that way. Neither can I understand that its ok with you guys that you can have other groups but when I do it, you show as if I ditched you.

What the hell is with all the competing and comparing? Seriously! I'm just so pissed off at times that you do not change. Does it please you that someone is having it worse?

Goodness.. Sometimes it really makes you wonder.. Hang out with some people that can make you score awesome grades but suffer emotionally every now and then. Or get average grades but with people that care (I hope they honestly care =P) bout each other?

Ugh.. The pain in my throat is worsening. Pain like crazy.. Life was so fun the past few weeks and months. Don't want it to change just because of some painful things..

.Can I really trust and believe?.

ReiRei

Fuuuuuullllll.... Cooking for oneself can sometimes be hard.. Its like if theres a lil' bit left but you're full and you dun wanna waste it, so you force yourself to eat it. Then you get all uncomfortable.

Actually I dunno if its full or just tired. Haha! Well~ Today is the FIRST day of uni!! Wasnt a very good start I guess but not a bad ending either. Had a small quarrel then lecturer.. FIRST LECTURER of the day/week/month/uni kept saying "erm" more times than I can count. I think that its such a bad habit that I think he says it twice in one sentence! Not to mention being totally monotonous. Ah well..

After that had our first OCF meeting with Arabelle and Pattie~ Haha!! The day sure is gloomy and sad today. Keeps raining like theres no tomorrow! I guess Werribee's Zoo animals will be very happy to have their wells filled to the brim~ So will the rhinos and their muddy wet bath. Haha!!

Looks like things are going I guess the way it should be. Got myself involve a bit too much that I can quite feel the effect now. Feels bit sad but hey! Not the end of the world. Time to get my head focus on what should be done. And enjoy what this year is gonna bring.

BRING IT~

ReiRei

"Hm.. Not sure what I did but neck feels REALLY sore @@"

.A Hint of Doubt or Uncertainty in Your Eyes Makes Me Grow Cold.

Is it ok to date? Should I even try being involve or sharing my space with someone and get the risk of being hurt?

To trust someone other than yourself and family with your life matters. I dunno how people can see it as a small thing but to me its like a huge issue! Sometime it feels like being with someone is like inviting pain in the future. Its awesome if it works out, but disastrous if it doesn't. Friendships broken and sometimes the group that you hang out with becomes different.

I wanna focus on my studies and just enjoy happy singlehood for now. But then again.. Someone told me that its also good to at least try some dating in Uni instead of just hanging out alone at home or just girls.

Full of uncertainty fills my heart. And as I look at the faces, theres always expectancy. Would I change a lot if should get myself involve? Would it be for the better or worst? Would I build stronger ice walls or crumple down? Really don't like this uncertainty *scared* feeling...

ReiRei

Stop Lying To Yourself

Was it expectancy that I indulge myself in it? Was it knowing that following that way it would turn out that way that I chose it? Could it be any less obvious?

Question is.. Is it wat I wanted? Or was it just to prove to myself? All I know now is that perhaps I'm destroying something which is by right nice? Am I that bad to pretend its ok? Aih.. Guilt is creeping to me. And burying deeper makes me feel worst. Few more days then.. What should I do? Continue? Or bury myself in work so that hopefully time can continue its way on how it should be?

Some part of me somehow feels I should choose the last one than the first. Lies does make things sour especially when you started it yourself. Blech =) ...

Rach

So Annoying

My previous place at Micasa sure starting to seem like it wasnt worth it. Isnt it weird how in the present it seems alright and okay but once it has pass and in the future you realized "Ugh.. So worth it to make that choice to move". Well I'm having that dilemma now!

Its so irritating and frustrating. Before moving in, pictures and so on sounded really great. Sadly, upon reaching the room was not only REALLY dirty but cutleries, dustbin and etc was... sry to say, grossed out! You know dirt that are in water for really long becomes black right? And if let in a closed area with bits of air and moist area it gets REALLY smelly? Well, imagine that happened in the dustbin and some cupboard area.

Not enough, dishes and cutleries were stained, some were yellow and man.. Its like the previous tenant didn't even clean!! Carpets were full of fur and I have no idea wat. But learnt in the year there was a cat in the room too. Blech.. Explains wat I tot was sand I found.

My parents and I had to vacuum the whole place, and wash and clean as much as we can. As for cutleries... You could say I cleaned wat was needed for a maximum of 3 people and left the rest in a cupboard. As for cooking things.. My parents decided to buy our own.

Did you know my dad even took the initiative to clean the windows as much as he could?? Ugh.. Anyway, as long it was just to survive I don't feel like filing a complaint. But what annoyed me was them charging me $50++ cause I did not clean everything before I left. My question to myself was, if they r charging me, surely they charged the previous tenant. So WHY WASNT IT CLEAN WHEN I MOVED IN???????????? ROAR!! Dislike dislike dislike!! Worst part is I have no proof that I didnt use the stuff but if some were in my shoes, would you even use things for a YEAR if they grossed you out? And that no matter how much cleaning you did, it was never enough?

Hey guys, I'm not trying to down grade Micasa or anything. And it probably doesnt happen to everyone. And maybe I'm just unfortunate that the room I wanted happened to be like that so yea. Lesson, check the place out first, every crook and corner. And if takes a plane to get there, ask friends to snap REAL photos or all the best I wish you luck. Last thing, ask them if they charge you for cleaning later on. Its really unfair if they were suppose to clean and they charge you for it when it wasnt clean to begin with.

ReiRei

So Fast

3 days passed d without me noticing. And its gonna b the 16th in couple more hours!! Even amazing is that I gotta wake at 6am just to do my timetable!! Garh.. You would nvr see me do such a thing... But after hearing my fren say that she has been doing it always... Guess I shouldnt be surprise. Wan nice seats and nice timetable you gotta put in some effort.

More annoying thing that happened today was that.. I dun even noe how I burn my thumb! How did that happened?????? Ugh.. Still quizzing over it. But it was only while I was washing dishes that I accidently press my thumb and gave me a jolt. Hm... Also I shud hurry and sleep. Will wake up later in 7 hours just to do this.

Thinking pathetic stuff now. Shud slp. G'Nite!

ReiRei

I'm sore all over. Who knew that swimming alone would be even more tiring in just a short while than with a lot of people together.

*yawn* just finish my swim and was kinda nice. No one there except myself. Swam then went into the jacuzzi. Aaah~ Was about to have some shut eye when a guy walked in. Gave me a scare that once he left I went to get my stuff. Strange was that he stood outside the girls changing room. Darn.. So instead went into the sauna to wait out.

Felt kinda nice too being in the sauna while its still new and no one around. Lie there and nearly fell aslp when I realized I lied there for approx 15min (yes I brought my watch with me). Left the sauna and saw no one then quickly headed to the girls room to shower off and back to my room.

Hm.. its not even night yet so I either will nap or do something.. Should start applying lotion, skins all dry *yuck*. Am feeling thirsty too.. Must be due to the salt water. Gtg~

ReiRei

4 Days And Counting

4 more days to availability of creating my timetable for this sem. Who would ever thought I would be this eager to start uni again? Ah~ Then again, when each day after a long period you don't give an Asian something to do, they get restless. And restless would go two ways, doing things which can be stupid, reckless, unimportant, non-beneficial or anything as long as to fill their time. Or just be a lazy-couch-potato.

Which way do I swing? Hm.. Both ways but probably the 2nd one first till I realize I'm getting overweight. Haha!! Wont be a surprise if you eat the way I do and just sleep and watch movie all day.

Well, its still not easy trying to live alone when you've tasted and remembered how great it was to have company all the time. Then again, I don't think I should keep saying that cause its just gonna bring me down. So what I'll try to say is..

Faster graduate with good results and get a job!! Then take leave and do whatever I must. Hahahaha!!! Yes yes!! That would be the plan for now. Being successful can come later~ Just aim to be independent for now. Yep yep~ Hm.. Back to my show Shinkyoku Polyphonica! Hehe!!

ReiRei

Its your usual day. Waking up late, eating brunch (soft boiled eggs and pancakes). Washing up then stoning wondering what to do.

After awhile frens text to chat some things and you're stoning again. After awhile you feel like you wanna go stretch and do some exercise but you're lazy to leave the apartment. Deciding to kill time you watch a season of anime.

Well, thats done and you realize its only 730pm. Wat to do? Time to cook? Hm.. Meat is still frozen. Play SIMS awhile more. Oh dear.. No more energy d. What should I do?

Type here lor. Checking STS although I know there will be no updates or changes till 16th. Lie here in this heat... Oh! Sis found my new fav song.

There we go. Listen to this while going for an early shower then I'll cook. Thats all~

ReiRei Signing Off~

Till Next Time

Its still kinda hard to say goodbye or see you again few months later, after like a year of seeing each other then leaving for university again.

Even watching them depart I didn't feel like letting go or asking them to leave. Its always 2 nights before they leave that I start dreading or hoping I could leave with them or ask them to stay longer. Haha! Aih.. Doing so is quite selfish and not so rite ain't it.

Well, I tried busying myself by cleaning the whole apartment. Took me like 4 hours and then.. it was like just stone.. The noises where my siblings will make : arguments, laughter, anger or annoyance. Growing up can be hard sometimes when you're alone.

Its also strange to do house chores all by yourself when your mom was just around moving all over the place, not sitting still. Dad yelling every now and then for each of us to help him with things or discuss education matters. Aih.. Well, thats family I guess.

Last sem it really took a toll on me and my education when I could not seem to be still and having faith in the Lord that they will be alright. This year.. As much as I love them. And love them so so much~ Haha!! I will ask the Lord to protect and watch over them while I study and faster be independent for myself.

This is the last year of University before I head out into the working world *yikes*. Pray that I'll do well Spiritually, Physically and Emotionally. Haha!! Hopefully no jobs require me to stay for interview in June/July.

Loves
ReiRei

Together-ness Is Variety

How would you count as spending time together? Staying together indoors is that not together? Must it be going out and doing SOMETHING then its something?

Quality time together, sure we are not at home. But I guess this case both sides gave the wrong idea. Wanna stay indoors, lets put away our gadgets if we r feeling lazy bout going out. Same time, don't wanna waste money visiting expensive places by staying indoors, lets do some calculation. We have been going out a lot!

It doesn't hurt anyone's pride to say lets stop being individualist and put away our gadgets and spend time together.

As long as we r bonding, why hurt the atmosphere and let the devil rule by making everyone feel so bitter?

Plus knowing some people who take it the wrong way, they will just fuel the fire and the person whom did not intend for wrong ends up feeling even worse. Ugh... People and Pride... And Who Thinks They Are So Right....

Rei

The Heart Is Always Invincible To Others

Ever get the feeling that people misunderstands your motive? Or at times where people assume they know you so well? Or even better! Someone close to you for SO MANY YEARS should at least have an idea of what you're like but ends up knowing almost nothing? Or maybe they are just oblivious!?

I'm like what? Past my teens and he still don't get it. Thinking what?! Just because I don't earn money so I am selfish? Just because I save means I wont support my siblings if they need it? That I won't share or part some to them if needed?

For goodness gracious! I'm not some irresponsible eldest child like other families that are like that you know. I'm not freaking selfish just cause others are.

I may be naive or at times childish but then again, at times who isnt?! Suspicions of other people is good at times but still! Even your own family you can't trust? Trust! And For Few TimeS! Does it not hurt to think that some of your children DO FREAKING CARE of how the family or the business is like?!!!

Have we been that cold and heartless that even if our siblings drown or suffer that we would leave them to die? Or beg? Geez... Before even thinking or assuming like you always said, at least figure out that your own flesh and blood also cares and ain't as selfish as you think.

Rei

Midst of Travelling

Hello again!! Been travelling up and down Aussie taking photos with sisters and fam. Believe it or not, I thought holidays would most of the time mean waking up late (around noon?) and feeling less tired.

Been waking up almost everyday at 7am or 8am then visiting different places non-stop then sleeping at 1am. It sure is my first time feeling tired at 6pm or 10pm. Not complaining but have to say its fun AND tiring.

Will perhaps post up some pictures of GOR (Great Ocean Road) and Mornington soon. Surprisingly, the apartment in Frankston is much better than GOR~

Goodness.. I'm so tired I dunno what I'm typing. Nite for now~

ReiRei