Friday, June 26, 2009

Let God's Will be done 1

Its amazing just how God moves things around us. A lil' background before I start what I am gonna post.

How me and my friends got inspired was truly from a faith of a girl from Acts Church. Only 15yrs old and with a bunch of friends, they call themselves the recessrevo (it simply means recess revolution). They gather to pray each week once during their recess hr just asking God what does He want them to do. One of the testimony would be paying for 1000++ students' lunch. Wow.. I wouldn't talk so much about it because if you want to know about it, you can always ask me or the Acts church ppl personally =D.

From that me and my friends formed a group which we call campusrevo. For the first time, we tried meeting together every week. Trust me, it was hard and annoying because all our break time were diff. We met from Mon - Thurs, praying in threes or more everyday. On Mon, Ann Ee had a word from God telling to bless the guards. She was not with us then, bt she text May Zhen about it. However, as much as we wanted to do it..We somehow felt tht the timing was not right. We were really unsure how to start or where to start. Weird thing was, while we were talking bout it, I just saw in my head (I have no idea how to describe k..) my campus and the number 8 came to me. I was like.. could it be of my own thoughts??

I told May Zhen about it only. She told me to continue praying about it. So we didnt say it out. We decided to not do it tht day. On thurs, many of us had the urge to do it. So ok! Thurs it is!! Me, Sam n Joshua head out to buy the kuih and Iced Teh. While Daniel, May Zhen and Ann Ee stayed back. While we were "shopping", those three wrote encouragement words from Mr Ronson

"If you ever felt that you are unloved and lonely.
God says, "I will always love you"
John 3:16


When we got back, we packed the stuff and stick the note cards on them. By then, May Zhen and Sam had to go for classes but Shaun came after XD. Before we left to bless the guards, we prayed and yea!! With May Zhen and Sam's faith with us too, we separated into 2 groups. We presume that thr were 6 guards at main campus so we only had 6 packets with us and the rest with Joshua and Daniel. We were really nervous to be honest. But with some courage, we manage to give to the guards each and telling them how much we appreciate them and talked bout God here and there.

One of the guards, Mr Daniel, was touched and said he dun really think God loves him because he seems to be the black sheep of the family. His brothers being pastors but he only a guard. Ann Ee and I somehow felt led by the Spirit and we told him how he is not and so on. We encouraged him and told him not to give up on God.

After we handed out all 6 packets, Mr Daniel came up to us and said, "I think ur missing out 2". Ann Ee was like stunned, Shaun and I were speechless. Ann Ee quickly called Joshua, by the grace of God, there were 2 extras!! So we told them to rush back and give it to the guards at our campus. And just then it hit me.. The number 8 was probably God telling me after all. Ann Ee was like so hyped up out of nervous and excitement tht she look like she wanted to strangle me when I told her @.@ .. Haha!!

Some of our classmates were questioning us when we got back to class like what were we doing and so on. I partly felt happy bcoz, this shows, when ppl are curious, its an opportunity to tel them bout what Christ did through us. Well, just to add. We gave these out at 12pm - 1pm. Normally, only 2-3 guards would be thr. Somehow, all were thr. Really, its nthg other than God's timing.

John 3:16 - For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life


**The reason I put "1" as part of my title was because I believe with the others that this wont be the only time God's Will will be done, but thr will be more. <3

Friday, June 19, 2009

Happy Father's Day



This is for all the fathers I know,
ESPECIALLY FOR ME OWN DADDY!!!!!!!!!!!!!









Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Another entry

I realize its no point staying angry. Though I get agitated easily.. But yea.. Someone told me its not worth gettin revenge or angry over them. If they wont listen, ur plainly wasting ur saliva XD. So yea.. I guess I must learn to view both positive side n negative side. I've seen too much of the negative side i suppose XD. I guess its time to look wider. Shouldnt b stereotype just coz of FEW bad experience. OK!!! So yea!! What have been going through my life..

Me under training in the media control room
(bossing ppl around XD!! Jkjk!!)

Got back my results.. Failed all except English, Math and Psy XD. Almost pass Acc T_T . Oh well, but even if i pass, it wasnt tht gud.. Failed legals misreably XD. Ok.. It shouldnt b a happy thing but yea XD. LOL! Nvm..

Family and friends are ok i guess.. Both sides oso got ppl sick.. AIHZZZZZ!!!!! Making me wry like crazy!!! As if the lack of slp was nt enough.. Oh well.. Just have to continue to believe in God. Pray they get well soon. Especially mom. WE R PRAYING FOR U!!!! GET WELL QUICKLY!!! Also to my friends, get well soon!!!

Me, Tiffany

As for relationship.. Lol. Can say I was kinda surprise. Many guys normally when u deny their confession, they will b all "why", "can work out wan", "i really care for u", etc.. especially when u explain things to them then they go "I will wait for u!!" and such.. Hm.. However, this is strange.. one guy actually understood. He was like "yea.. makes sense", n he seems to be taking it as friendship nw. I understand the feeling will be thr. But yea.. able to control it n hold it down..its not easy.. Well, I guess c how things goes.. I really suddenly feel confuse. Before i get together with the person.. Somehow I alwyz ask these q to myself.. "How long will this last??", "am i ready to be with him?", "Would i feel embarrass being with him around my friends?", "when or wat or how must I be when in relationship?", "am i suppose to treat him diff than others or something??", "Am I counting on him more or God?", "will he really make me happy for long?", "is he the one God let me be with?", "how long?? how can i tel if i truly love him n not just like him..?", etc.. True, i noe its through prayer.. But when ur own desires come into the pic.. Its hard sometimes to tell.. Instincts, Holy Spirit, guts n being sensitive toward God.. All this.. Its really vry hard to tell.. It sorta makes me confuse.. Haha!! How many times has it been like this.. 3? 4? 5? But in the end after few yrs.. They drift away.. How can I be sure this one doesnt? Say oni "sure wont..I am diff", but.. how can u really tel?? Lol.. I suddenly remember a friend of mine tellin me "Yoh!! Why so fussy!! Like this u 70++ oso wont marry" XD. When i read this oso I kinda think tht oso XD. Lol. Wonder what will really happen ler? Wht does God hav in store O.O .. Jeng jeng jeng~~!!!! Lol!! Till next time!!

George, Joel, me (from left)
Dom (bottom)

Thursday, June 4, 2009

Gosh!!! Never knew it took one simple person to tel u to stop sharing God with everyone pull you down a lot. It felt a bit like a slap across the face. It so frustrating!! Whats more annoying is that..gosh!!! The idiot use to be ur gud friend. Wonderful!!! I dunno whats his prob anymore. Is it bcoz he change or i change? Or was it bcoz of our past. WATEVER!!!!! Its freaking irritating!! He talks as if i pissed him off. But who is he to educate others when he himself cant even solve his own freaking problem. ISH!!!!!!!!!! Feel like kicking or breaking something!!!! UGH!!!!!!!!!!

To top tht off, i feel like i am being stupid. Crush is a crush. Its great to know someone cares for u and all. But what is wrong with me!!! Its like i wan to be dependable upon someone. I constantly wonder wat the he is doing. Then when i catch myself doing tht i will be like.. What the hell is wrong with me!!! I am in no relationship. I dun wan to get in one till I noe it can last. How we alwyz wish the relationship would last. But at this age.. I rarely see one surviving. Its alwyz break, make up, break, make up... What the hell!!!! Mayb I am being irrational and stupid, I am not criticizing, dun get me wrong. Its great havin a relationship. But i dun wan a test drive only. I dun wan it to be dependin on one person. Neither do i wan a relationship whr its just i assume the person is like tht thts y i am attracted to tht person.

I know i have change. Change into gud and bad. Whatever.. Sigh.. But seriously.. Is all this making me go crazy..? Is it too much studies? Lol, i think i might hav to doubt. Is it due to constant control? I dunno..Mayb? Is it due to pressure frm the surroundings? Could be.. Or is it..I dunno whats happening outside anymore.. I dun feel connected to anyone outside. Lol. I admit.. I do have ppl tht cares bout me. But feeling helpless.. Unable to b help them while they help u. Feel kinda useless dun u think.. Sigh.. I noe i noe.. The time will come. Sometimes i feel like i am just wasting my time. I love holidays.. I admit. Its like time away frm all the tension in sch. However, its starting to make no diff.. I'm wasting my time away. I'm not even catchin up on things. Ever feel like a hypocrite? I feel like one nw.. Hmm... I wonder.. Why do i keep drowning myself in negativeness.. Zzz...

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

In Him Alone

"It's impossible"
All things are possible (Luke 18:27)

"I'm too tired"
I will give you rest (Matthew 11:28-30)

"Nobody really loves me"
I love you (John 3:16 & John 13:34)

"I can't go on"
My grace is sufficient (II Corinthians 12:9 & Psalm 91:15)

"I can't figure things out"
I will direct your steps (Proverbs 3:5-6)

"I can't do it"
You can do all things
(Philippians 4:13)

"I'm not able"
I am able (II Corinthians 9:8)

"It's not worth it"
It will be worth it (Romans 8:28)

"I can't forgive myself"
I forgive you (I John 1:9 & Romans 8:1)

"I can't manage"
I will supply all your needs (Philippians 4:19)

"I'm afraid"
I have not given you a spirit of fear (II Timothy 1:7)

"I'm always worried and frustrated"
Cast all your cares on Me (I Peter 5:7)

"I don't have enough faith"
I've given everyone a measure of faith
(Romans 12:3)

"I'm not smart enough"
I give you wisdom
(I Corinthians 1:30)

"I feel all alone"
I will never leave you or forsake you (Hebrews 13:5)

Saturday, May 30, 2009

No topic

Hmm.. I have written b4 tht I will state what kind of guy interest me rite. Lol! I find it kinda funny yet weird. MY first confession!! I have NEVER had a bf before, neither have i been in a relationship b4. However, its not that sad. I had ppl confess to me b4 but i kinda rejected them.

The Worlds POV
Whats coupling about I wonder.. Besides comforting one another. Having someone by ur side in times of trouble and joy. Knowing that ur not alone. Turning to someone to pour out your inner-most emotion to. What else? What else does the world see coupling as?

My POV
So far from my eyes what do I c coupling as would be someone to journey with in God's Word. Someone you can share bout God's Word and encouraging each other. Knowing God has given you this vry person to spend ur life with till you grow old, guiding the sons and daughters God had bless you with. what else? In genesis, God saw that Adam was lonely and therefore made a woman. So I guess God does approve of a man and woman being with each other. But that was when they were adults. How about as teenagers? Or young adults?

EXPERIENCES FROM OTHERS
After listening to some experiences, I understand that these times would not exactly be the appropriate time for coupling. But more for bonding with each other. Going out and have fun together. Getting to interact with more people and search for that one true person. True.. Its hard. Especially when u really like this person. Than he or she confesses to you. You probably cant slp a wink because you are confuse. Both your mind and heart want separate decision. The mind is probably thinking, no harm in trying.. so many people have done it before. Despite that, the heart thinks, I dun wanna play the person's heart..What happen if he or she is not the one?? Then would I not have followed God's heart??

Its scary.. Because you know that somehow, you have to make a decision. 1 out of 100 he would be the one. But then again, why rush? WAIT!! We both know how we feel for each other and that we like each other. Would that not consider us destine for each other? If that is so, why not wait?? If you guys are destine, he wont consider another girl rite? Neither would the girl consider another guy rite?

??CONCLUSION??
So what is your conclusion, Rei? My conclusion? Simple. If regarding outward appearance, I can say many. Tall, built, handsome, smart, sociable, etc.. But then again. Whats the point??? If the person is handsome, built and tall but have no love for God or fear of God or wanting to do God's purpose, what for??? He is merely a deco. The relationship prob last a week or month or so, in my case. So what am I looking for?? These are merely options I set for myself so I won't be thinking over every guy that confesses to me.

1. Believes in God (aka a Christian)
2. Loves God
3. Wants to do God's purpose
4. Grow with me in God's Word
5. Older
6. Honours parents and elders
7. Respects females (Would not force me against my will)
8. Knows his purpose
9. Would argue back with me if it is the right thing (even if he knows he might lose me)
10. Do not say those 3 words until he can finance for his own and me (torture him later to be able to care for his and my family as well =P)
11. OH YES!!! STOP USING THE F WORD!!!!
12. Does not do clubbing
13. Does not smoke
14. Drink alcohol only during functions but not excessive
15. Gamble only during chinese new year but not excessive
16. Not a playboy (Does not sweet talk only but really searches to know me)
17. Can give me encouragement not pull me down
18. Loves himself and thinks for himself also not just me or the family
19. Knows when to be serious and when to be playful
20. Loves me for my sinful and horrible side as well as my gud side

I think 21 onwards are those minor stuff.

21. Sociable
22. Protective
23. Does care to not be weaker than girls (if not how you even gonna protect urself, let alone me or the females -.-")
24. Looks at things mostly at a positive view
25. Does not judge anyone but forgives everyone (friends with everyone)

Sigh.. I cannot think anymore. Lol. I guess thats tht. I am terribly seriously crazy arent I =P. Nw you know why I havent been in a relationship. But nearly many times.

Oh well!! Lotsa love =P!!!

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

A lil' bout me

What kind of person am I? True, I may not understand myself so deep but I do realize a few things when I change the layout and the idea of this blog.

The FIRST thing I realize was that I think a lot. I think far and probably over(as some ppl would say). I love to go deep into thoughts, what I would think..? I would try to understand the actions of certain ppl. I wanna know the reason for their actions and words. If its not bout tht, then I would be thinking. Why was my past that way? Why did I do that? Did I really fulfill the purpose God had set for me there? Or did I waste it and let it be passed on to someone else? Questions such as why do ppl suffer? Why do children cry? Why don't teens and parents take a sec to bother bout each other? Why do friends come and go?..

The SECOND thing I realize was regarding my emotions. Sometimes I myself don't understand why I feel this way. I thought I was becoming a psycho but then God shone some light. Its not just me, but some ppl go through it too. I carry with me so much emotions but I only show few. I realize deep down I do not want to share them. Unconsciously, I block them out, forgetting them. So when I share myself with friends, its sometimes sad but mostly happy and positive. I guess I do not want to share them just like that. I only want that "special" person to know both sides of me. However, doing this carried side effects. I feel lonely a lot, I go depressed, I get confuse, thanks to being tough all the time I feel heartache as happiness (like psycho lar!!)...There were times where I couldn't take it that I let out depression a lot. At times like this I create an ice wall around myself and break it when I'm healed again. The process repeats itself.
From normal > depression > feeling psycho > creating an ice wall > healing > normal..(repeats)

So these two things are what I learned so far. I'm not trying to boast or exclaimthat I am "mysterious", "special" or whatsoever. I realize maybe I didn't give some of my friends a chance to understand me. So there were misunderstandings. Plus I don't like talking this side of me much (face to face). Its awkward..

So yea..After this I probably type something bout the guy I look for. Hopefully there is such a guy, but we cant have everything rite? Lol!!