Surprises

Yesterday was so full of surprises. Ok, besides the exam questions that were of (bad) surprises, I think there were few other things lar.

I really did wanna go for Lenna's Birthday party yesterday, (Lenna do forgive me!!!) but honestly.. I really did calculate the time and everything and I really dun c how I am going to get thr in time. I think I probably be later than Levina. So last few hrs b4 it I canceled out (Ok, you can start sayin how mean I am). Whats the surprise to that? Nt long after I decided that, which was like.. 2hrs b4 my FINAL LAST PAPER OF SEM1 CS, Richard, Geoffrey suddenly say want do bbq at Geoffrey's house which was like..just opposite campus? Lol!! Asked me and Pui Yee then thts when the last min invitations/callouts were done. Sorry to the rest that couldn't come, it WAS really last min.

The funny thing bout that was, it kept raining and stopping during our exams so we weren't sure if the bbq was gonna work out (HAH!!! TOLD YOU SALLY TO WAIT TILL AFTER EXAM TO SEE THE WEATHER!!! =P).

Nt long frm that, I got another surprise. Though I expected someone to be mad, she didn't get mad when she saw me. Maybe she was holding down her anger I dunno. But I guess after what happened the day before, I'm not sure what goes on in her mind, (I admit I am quite scared to find out) but she somehow gave me jelly then went off XD. Lol~ Surprised???

Well, thats all for today's post. BbQ post another day coz too long and too many things happened thr XD. Thanks guys (Sally, Kawsalya, Ke Ying, Charlotte, Geoffrey, Richard, Shawn, Maula and Geoffrey's mom and sis-in-law) for making it awesome!!!

Thank you Lord for letting me meet these wonderful people ^^!!!

Last but not least..

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LENNA!!!!! ^^

Special wishout for you =P.

Loves~

Cutting the Mood

Sometimes I just don't get some people?? Is it normal for us humans to assume a person to be horrible or something? Without even checking further or finding out the reason and situation behind things, you just assume the worst of the person.. Its just.. I dunno.. Not only does it show that you do not trust the person, it shows to OTHER people and the person him/herself that he/she is a "bad" person and cannot be trusted.

Its really sad.. Cause if me being the person him/herself, it feels like you yourself cannot trust them. I think worse off is when someone you really care and cherish thinks that way bout you. Sigh..

If you have watched "I'm not stupid too", dun ask me why I suddenly bring this up (lol), there was like a part where the son fixed the computer for his dad.

Summary of story:
The dad had a million dollar presentation he had to present to his client. The day before, his computer crashed. That important day, his son woke up early, fixed his computer and brought to him to his office. The conversation is something as below.

Father: Why are you still not at school?
Son: I have fixed your laptop. So I thought I brought it here.
Father: You fix my laptop? Really?
Son: Yea.
Father: You sure you fixed it? Or is it you spoilt my laptop by playing with it so you sent it to the store to be fixed. Next time don't touch my stuff, now go to school.

The father then rushes back to his client apologizing and saying that his laptop is now fixed and can present the presentation, leaving his son dejected, sad, speechless and hurt.

If you were to be doing something good, but only to be ASSUMED as a naughty, rebellious and who-knows-what kind of person. I think you would one day just quit being nice and goody goody and just feel like being what people describe/assume you to be.

It hurts, it sucks and it seriously kills a person confidence and cheerfulness.

I once heard a quote that was saying how killing a person's dream, only causes that person to kill other people's dream. Are we not aware of what words can do?

Seeing people like Joash IS truly amazing. No words of discouragement and hurtful words. Truly a guy that chase after God's own heart.

Well, today last day of exam. Need to push those stu*blip* negative emotions out. Get my head straight. I promise myself to give my best in studies to God this year. Can't go back on that ^^.

Loves~

Running the Race

Ever thought that maybe running the race doesn't just apply to your walk with God? Somehow even during this hour where many students like myself are studying up for our big test, we grow tired and weary as if we have been running for miles. Stress starts building that weight on our shoulders making us feel heavy and frustrated. Sometimes when these things build up, we all start to feel like giving up or wonder why it doesnt make sense anymore. Few of us start doubting the path we are taking.

Well, for right now, all I know is that I can't do this alone on my own strength. Neither can I start having discouragements or negative thoughts bout what will happen in the future. What I can do is rely on God's strength, put my faith and trust in Him and myself. At the same time, give my utter best in completing this semester.

⁷I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. ⁸Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day—and not only to me, but also to all who have longed for his appearing. - 2Timothy4:7~8

Another thing I realize is that when we what to give or do excellence in our studies and yet serve God.. Lol~ There really seems much less time. So I guess I have to admit that last time.. I really didn't give my best in my studies but spent more time in serving God. For one of the first time.. I actually AIM to do my best in my studies. Aiming high... Lol~ This is so not easy.. But well, should start learning somewhr rite?

Gotta start studies d..

Loves~


P.s
I'd always like to remember that we never run alone. But God put people in our lives to run with us too. Someone in front, behind and above us all the time. The front to lead/pull us, someone behind to push/support us and God above to protect us if anyone stumbles. So dun think you're running alone. =)

Blip?

So far things been looking up but I dun wanna conclude it tht fast yet. Later go back to the way it was.. Then i seriously speechless. Anyway, what happened was decided to go out with some friends which I'm not sure if thr was misunderstanding between us. But anyhow, went out, the plan was bowling. Somehow... The outing was not bad. By the timie we went home.... We didnt bowl at all =P. The place was jam pack full.

So actually, Goeffrey, you didnt really miss anything XD. But if you count boredom as one.. Then possible lar. We did some minor shopping and "sight-seeing". Richard is staring to remind me of someone love sick. Aihzz.. Lol!!

Cyn and Pui Yee just CANNOT resist teasing each other with each other's pencil box. Cyn - cow, Pui Yee - dog. Me n Ke Ying oso chat chat lor. Lol~ Kawsi was with her childhood friend so didnt really get to hangout much with her.

Arrrr.... Anything else ler?? Hm.. What CAN you respond to a person that just want a relationship for fun ler?? Easy to suggest, not easy to do it out/execute ler.. Ah well.. Finals approaching.. Should not think bout all these too much.

Oh n I can't believe a friend of mine say i look like aunty sometimes -.-". Swtz~

Loves~~

Thankful

Ok, I know I am suppose to be sleeping but.. I just can't help blogging this post now. I know many times I take people or even God for granted. Knowing how much they have given yet sometimes I do not take the time to appreciate. But somehow just this moment or hr.. I just feel really really REALLY thankful for the friends I have / had.

Honestly speaking, no matter how harsh or heart-breaking things our friends may do sometimes, we are just not perfect. It really hurts and breaks but just thinking back bout all the silly, stupid, funny and awesome times we had together, you just can't help but smile. Come on, dun lie to me but honestly, you can't help smile or laugh at some.

Right now even I CANT figure out how I am gonna complete my assignment (Haha), but few people just did NOT fail to make me smile or laugh awhile before going back to studies. Lol!! Each and everyone of my friends I am thankful for. The ones I rarely chat with or used to chat with or chat lots with, each and everyone made me smile at a certain time. Made me feel that thr is someone out there, that I'm not lonely.

I thank God that I have crossed path with each and everyone of you. I thank God that each and everyone of you are nice people and not scary people XD. Friendly and funny and unique in your own special way.

Thats all =P. Nitez people ^^.


(Thankful) Loves~

Common

It really hurts when the people you trust hurts you, but you know.. The bible scripted that "no temptation has seized you except what is COMMON to man". Meaning to say, mostly to myself, why do we get so frustrated over things such as these? Why do we let ourselves be sad and distressed by this as if we are the only ones going through it.

As I read a passage from the bible, I didn't realize how the passage really meant to me. Scriptures wrote in 1 Corinthians 10:13,

"No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.".

Then again in my devotion, Psalms 73:1-20.

" ¹Surely God is good to Israel,
to those who are pure in heart.

² But as for me, my feet had almost slipped;
I had nearly lost my foothold.

³ For I envied the arrogant
when I saw the prosperity of the wicked.

⁴ They have no struggles;
their bodies are healthy and strong. ^[a]

⁵ They are free from the burdens common to man;
they are not plagued by human ills.

⁶ Therefore pride is their necklace;
they clothe themselves with violence.

⁷ From their callous hearts comes iniquity ^[b] ;
the evil conceits of their minds know no limits.

⁸ They scoff, and speak with malice;
in their arrogance they threaten oppression.

⁹ Their mouths lay claim to heaven,
and their tongues take possession of the earth.

¹⁰ Therefore their people turn to them
and drink up waters in abundance. ^c]">[c]

¹¹ They say, "How can God know?
Does the Most High have knowledge?"

¹² This is what the wicked are like—
always carefree, they increase in wealth.

¹³ Surely in vain have I kept my heart pure;
in vain have I washed my hands in innocence.

¹⁴ All day long I have been plagued;
I have been punished every morning.

¹⁵ If I had said, "I will speak thus,"
I would have betrayed your children.

¹⁶ When I tried to understand all this,
it was oppressive to me

¹⁷ till I entered the sanctuary of God;
then I understood their final destiny.

¹⁸ Surely you place them on slippery ground;
you cast them down to ruin.

¹⁹ How suddenly are they destroyed,
completely swept away by terrors!

²⁰ As a dream when one awakes,
so when you arise, O Lord,
you will despise them as fantasies."

I probably do get envious when my close friends suddenly grow close to another. Or even when I see people understanding things easier than I do.

Then again, continuing from the passage above, Psalms 73:21-28. This is what hits me most.

" ²¹ When my heart was grieved
and my spirit embittered,

²² I was senseless and ignorant;
I was a brute beast before you.

²³ Yet I am always with you;
you hold me by my right hand.

²⁴ You guide me with your counsel,
and afterward you will take me into glory.

²⁵ Whom have I in heaven but you?
And earth has nothing I desire besides you.

²⁶ My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart
and my portion forever.

²⁷ Those who are far from you will perish;
you destroy all who are unfaithful to you.

²⁸ But as for me, it is good to be near God.
I have made the Sovereign LORD my refuge;
I will tell of all your deeds."

Knowing how bitter my heart can be at times. God still never forsake me. Yet He waits on the doorstep or at the edge of my bed waiting for me to spill or run to Him. He does not expect a lot out of me, He does not expect me to be strong and emotionless to things as these. But He promises to always wait by my side and guide me if I let, and strengthen me if I call.

Just reading this reminded me of where I stand and why did I took that step to accept Jesus as my Lord and Saviour. It sometimes can slip our mind especially at our weakest moment (when we are sad, distress and unhappy). Tht's cause the devil uses those moments to attack. Again I quote from the scriptures where God reminds us again and again that our suffering is not us alone, but is common to man.

" ⁸Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. ⁹Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings." ~ 1Peter 5:8-9

So there we go. Not sure what I will do now cause I really dunno what response I should give.. But I guess somehow God will show. Pray, trust and believe ^^.

Loves~

Spam

Just so sick of it. Not knowing what you did wrong. And they go speaking bout you behind your back and ignoring you. Not enough, they say you have change and joke bout you and your personality or confusion. Still NO IDEA what they dislike about, then they just walk off on you. These are friends? These are what we suppose to consider friends till the end or who knows what?

I dunno is it me.. or is it just plain you can't trust friends for more than 2 months. Coz after that.. I just dunno what d. Dry of tears. Too full to hold anymore hurts. Enough headache that probably did too much thinking.

No one wanna clear it. I've tried startin a conversation to clear. But NOBODY wanna explain. Nobody cares bout the bond anyway. If people think that "aiya, dun say lar. Just ignore it" is gonna solve it or keep the person in well condition. Its not. They just DO NOT GET WHAT IS GOING ON!!!

Argh!! Seriously!! Right now I'm just so messed up that I'm typing whatever in here. So yea, to the PERSON. I've ALREADY ignored all your comments. I've DELETED every single thing I said to you so stop being perasan bout me replyin you when I'm not!! Though it can be a group chat. I'm IGNORING YOUR COMMENTS. I've lost the interest to REPLY you unless you call me first. IF you still DO continue reading my blog. STOP IT!! Especially if you're just gonna insult or make fun out of it. You think only you hate certain things? IT was only ONE thing while you say A LOT to me. I've settled saying everything.

Its either I will feel like this tomoro or I will just forget all this. So yea.. Today is spam the blog day. One strange way of lettin out.. Forgive me but...

...../......~

Funny Thing

Strange how we humans are? We all dislike being discourage, insulted or criticized but yet we do it to others. Somehow we flare up, get into rage, get hurt, going emo and bitter when others oppose to everything we say or make negative comments at everything we do. Hm.. But yet we tend to do it to others.

Something we love or enjoy, just because people criticize, we either stop doing it or we distance ourselves from them. Then, they asks us why we so emo. Or why we so touchy. And the fussing starts.

I do admit that I'm the kind that treats people the same way they treat me. So if ur like all sarcasm, I sometimes do talk back sarcasm to you. If you are the serious type, then I'll just be serious with you. Some people I guess they will ask or say that I am people pleasing? But.. I guess.. in my point of view its just adapting to your environment so that YOU wont feel uncomfortable. Lol!! But it really doesnt last long.

When I think we are comfortable with each other, then I'll open up and be less "sarcastic" or hyper. But the more caring friend. However, I guess to some people it doesnt work out coz they think I'm the joke then. Lol!!

Are we willing to understand others when they don't bother listening to you??

Loves~

What Do You Bring?

I know sometimes we don't think bout it. And yea.. It tends to just bury away in the back of our heads but.. Besides caring, what else do we bring to our friends, family and others?

Do we bring faith or faith-less?
Do we bring hope or make them hope-less?
Do we bring joy or sadness?
Do we bring light or pull them deeper in darkness?
Do we bring life? Or death?

Though we care and show concern.. Anything else? What else did we say that could've brought something?

Loves~