Servants Retreat

Hey bloggie~

I'm back from Servants Retreat~!!!! Was really refreshing even though it was just a day and a half or less probably. But it was still really good =). Felt like I was there for few days. We had Aunty Marilyn to come and speak to us. And seriously.. I really CANNOT shake this nagging feeling that I am hearing preaching after preaching which I have already heard from Ps Chew or Ps Daniel back in church. SERIOUSLY~!! Well, maybe they were in different sentences but the verses were thr. The points were can say exact.. Its just so reminding..

Part of me feel like saying "yes yes I know this, I've heard this before", but not sure why today I just felt like questioning myself "Rach, are you sure you really know this..?" . Do I?

Its also kinda freaky and touching at how God sometimes show how real He can really be in our lives. I am not gonna mention the past ones in Melbourne but just in this retreat.

On Friday, the day before leaving for Servant Retreat, we were told what we hope to gain/achieve/do this sem in OCF or just in our own walk with God. I listed 3 things:

1. To be Faith challenged;
2. To memorize memory verses; and
3. To live a prayerful lifestyle.

It just came to mind and I was like ok. Didnt expect during Servants Retreat Saturday and Sunday Aunty Marilyn would emphasize so much on these 3. Well, looks like I'm on the right track?

What further surprise me was that, if looking back in my blog, I cannot deny the fact that when I first came to Melbourne I kept asking God to let me do something. And guide me to use my gifts. Guess what??

God has been giving me challenges~!! Challenges that challenge my faith and trust in Him!! I wont say wat they are yet, and u know wat?? When I was presented with it, I kept telling myself I'm not ready when in fact, I was praying for it!! BLUR MUCH RACH?? Another thing, God had answered my prayer regarding building my talent.. OCF vision since 30 or 32 years ago.. Basically waaaay back dino age ago (Hehe~ Learn from Aunty Marilyn), their vision were like to be apostles.

Here were the visions:
1. Reach Out - Evangelism
2. Build Up - Discipleship
3. Send Back/Home - Apostleship

Getting out of our comfort zone to reach out to the lost, building them in confidence and faith, sending them back to impact their own nations. From this retreat, I really cannot stop singing this song with few others. But this song was what hit me most.

I hope it gives you hope and renewed strength each and every day. For each and every Word you mean this to God, I hope it strengthens your faith in Him.

Agape
Rei ♥♥

The 2nd Club~!!

I have finally join a new club!! The table tennis club!!! Or well sport club.. Whatever @@.. Society.. club.. starting to brain down. Yea.. Was really really excited bout going. I mean.. After class I just couldnt wait to go and change attire (coz winter wear 3 layers exclude jacket. Then if wear that while playing indoors.. Crazy ler @@).

Realize was an hr early so went and doughnut coffee bliss with Ke Ying ;p. I never knew that the 2 Original Glaze could be replace with any of the doughnuts and still be charged same price. Or even change the coffee to hot chocolate and STILL have it the same price. OR Both~!! AND STILL HAVE IT FOR $6.50~!! How awesome is that~ I so recommend the doughnut coffee bliss for tea~

Oh after that, I still had like half an hour to kill. So I went to the venue and decided to slowly take my time and change. Didnt expect 2 ppl thr setting up already.. So yea, sport started at 230pm. We all took turns playing. I think everyone minimum had 3-4 games throughout the time period. It felt really long since I been watching ppl play or even have a game with them.

It seems also that my smashing will never not be notice @@. I think after few rounds with the state or national players (I was really sucky.. I mean.. 2/11 is so not cool. Haha!! But to be even able to get points frm them was cool XD) they starting bullying by giving me high balls to smash. Which also remind me of my height!!! ARRH!!! And after not playing for almost a year, I felt SOOO TIRED after awhile. Where did all my stammina run to?

The last half an hr (or maybe 45 min) they started having this crazy endurance game i think.. 4 tables would have an individual competition of 11 points. Which table finish first ends that whole round for every table. If you have lower points, you move down. If you have higher points, you move up. At the lowest table if u have lower points, you get out of the game and the person waiting in turn goes in.

First 3 games I kept going between table 1 and 2. The vry low ones. Haha!! But as time passes.. MAN~!! My legs were half jello that I not oni needed to bend to maintain balance but oso bend so that I wont feel too tired!! And this Cambodian player can still order me to smash harder when I am barely standing up. He said so I can improve. @@ Every round I start to see everyone losing stamina. Haha!! Some ppl just stop playing strokes and went for spins and down-under balls and close nets so dun nid to move and exert as much strength. Except for one guy who really like playing speed ball. Man..

But yea.. Haha!! At the end I was completely thirsty and out of water. Went slurpie with them (C lucky I change so I dun have to be in sweat and walk out in cold!! I did change after the game finally ended though). Then head for OCF. Was an hr early so chatted with Joon and Sahitya who were already thr. I felt like such a blur person as I was trying so hard to maintain alertness and not fall aslp. Haha!! The couch really felt so nice~ (Which later Sahitya agreed full hearted when he sat~)

Anyway yea.. I should be slping. Tomoro got a long day of Servants Retreat. Hopefully I can wake up and HOPEFULLY NOT BE SORE!! Hope also that at the camp my legs wont just give out if we are sitting too long. Okok~ Eyes shutting d. Nite!!

Raaaae-i?

Holy Discontented

Just one last thing I thought I remind myself even as I read back in future ;). As a Christian, have you ever felt the fire of being Holy Discontent??

Where you just wanna go out there and do something but not sure what. Touch others lives but not sure how. Do something bid but dunno whr to start. Seeing lives impacted and changed for the greater good.

Knowing that Christianity is never just about preaching and talking but a lifestyle and passion. Something you WANT to do and not need to do.

Hm.. Half way reading the book~ N it really is exciting ^^.


ReiRei

An Idea

Random simple ideas keep coming into my head when I shower. I really gotta ask God to change that. Hm.. It makes it harder to remember sometimes when I wanna jot it down for future reference.

But yea.. Recently I guess I have just got ideas such as charity, blessing ppl, paying for ppl's laundry money, cooking ppl dinner, randomly dropping friendly notes into ppl's mail boxes, and etc. But nvr really getting them done cause either I feel stupid, weird, awkward, wondering wat other ppl might be thinking.. You know~ Those stuff~!! I AM VERY SURE EVERYONE HAS AT LEAST A MOMENT OF THAT!!! (or more)

So yea, lets just say the new idea which popped into my head was creating a website. More exactly, a chatting forum. Or a forum of thoughts/opinions. I really have no idea how to put it. But basically its a form of discussion, ppl's view of lifestyle and socials. I know I know, we have lots of those.

Just thought of having or making a team. The forum where it talks about styles, clothes, movies, studies, relationships, games, life experience, hobbies, interest, technology, internet, career and so on. Then having a few sort of known counselors which could give on advice, etc etc. I mean.. A place where it is not allowed to post politics or whatever govermental issues.

But more like a place if you have seriously NOTHING to do and just wanna spam. Why not put ur opinion in a place where you never know if it will help? A place that could shows views of different cultures or maybe views of different genders and age groups. A place where you can shout out what you think and be acknowledge yet no one knowing who you really are (as long as you dun post everything bout ur real self).

Something similar to facebook whereby is global I guess, except.. A place where everyone with similar interest but different views can share their points. Who knows, sometimes we can learn something out of it. Who knows, we might even be encouraged bout it. Either that, who knows if your idea is actually an awesome one and one day you see it happening before your very eyes~!! (ok tht is seriously far fetched) but... Who knows rite? The person who started Mc Donalds sure didnt know Mc D was gonna b famous. Neither did facebook or genting. Haha!! Neither did Microsoft and some others that actually pulled through.

Hm.. As much as I can this or post this out to tell others.. I wonder bout myself.. Why daren't I try it?

A question which sometimes I post to myself,

"Am I really unafraid of being who I am?"

I guess a gud title for that website if I ever do make it will go something like "Being Myself". Something like it~ I suck at creative names =P.

There we go~ Time for slp =).

Nite~

ReiRei (The Innocent Lamb - Its just my name in hebrew =)

A Good Book

A book that never fails to interest me~ You not only can learn from it, you can experience real joy, sadness, satisfaction and sometimes humour from it. Seriously!! No joke!!

Its called.. "A Chapter of a Person's Life Experience"~ Serious~ I'm not kidding. Each and everytime you wanna read a new story book, there is always a possibility of let down, unsure if its boring or whether it really is what you think it is. But imagine, a chapter in that person's life. Not asking for a life of grandmothers story, but a certain chapter which impacted them. An experience which made them confused and will make u think "thats out of the world"~

Plus~ What could be better than hearing a person tell u the story instead of reading out of a book. I'm not saying "lets say good-bye to book" but more of "welcome in this new story book into your life". A story of a person's life where who knows? Might be something you need? OR might be something which you can learn from? Or just something which makes you respect and love/cherish yourself more. We never know.

Another thing which you gain just from hearing it, you get a closer friend ;). Communication is somehw always the key of starting or strengthening a bond.

I got a treat from Sue Lee today and was astounded to hear how a friend of hers got turned down by many girls and just when he was about to give up, his hairdresser ask him to meet this girl. And guess wat? After a couple of months, they started to become a couple. And I heard, at the end of THIS year they are getting married!! How awesome is that? There was more to the story but this is the SUPER summary ;). I learnt more bout Aussie culture too, and it really is different from wat i imagined @@. Oh well~ I still love times of sharings ^^.

Rei~

I NEED TO DO SOMETHING!!!

Cant believe I am actually missing the being too busy till I have no time for relax or till I must actually do my hobby reading while in the car or before I sleep. All this happening during my secondary times.

I mean, if I wasnt doing tuition then I would be joining 5 clubs and societies. I mean literally joining them in doing something n not just sitting there do nothing or plain name-sake. I remembered before I went to a sch which limited students to one society a week, MGS actually allowed us to join as many as we want with a minimum of 3 a week. As long as it doesnt clash with any core societies/sports then its fine. Goodness.. I still cant believe I joined the band, taekwondo (halfway oni for this), choir, Christian Fellowship, cheerleading (oso halfway except for hse colour), prefect, table tennis, chess.. cant remember wat else.. Not stopping there, I cant believe I still had time to read finish 3-5 story books a week! Seriously what was I thinking??? How did I even have time to go to the library?? Oh rite, skipping lunch a few times.. Seriously???

To top that up, I still cant bliev I had church and church activities which required me 2 and a half days. Sometimes even 3 days in a week. Then somemore tuition 4 days at least in a week @@. How did I finish all those homework ar.. Is it because it involves no research and it was already sorta spoonfed till the homework were actually just practices?

Even after leaving the sch and going to the sch which oni allowed like wat.. one society a week.. I still cant believe I went and skip class quite a few times just to do events! Didnt turn out spectacular but was still not in class. Ok maybe that wasnt a gud one. But classes ended mostly at.. 4pm i think. Except fridays. Then I had tuition 3 times a week!! Nearing exams it increases. And I would stay up late till 3am every nw n then just to finish my work. Huh.. What was I thinking?? Was it because I didnt nid to wry bout my transportation and food on my table? Not like now whr I have to prep everything myself? Is that it??

So what is my resolute? As much as I suck at dancing.. I kinda of reeeeeli.. so baaaaadly wanna join a dance class. Not sure why but yea.. And part of me was wondering is it because right now I am thinking I am too free? But I was also thinking of the times I come home in the evening and do home work till late nite.. If I divide my work probably can rite? Would be too busying myself be a bad thing??

Cause I dun just wanna dance, I oso wanna join the outdoor sports, table tennis friendly matches, maybe swimming, then just plain working out and sweating some. Voluntary work wat eva~ I just wanna sweat or do some work that would make me move my lazy ass. Lol!! Got a feeling I probably complain in the middle like i usually do but looking back how much I enjoyed.. I cant deny THAT~

I starting to feel silly cause its been dunno how many years a leaflet talks bout dancing and I will just stand thr and stare at the poster for quite awhile before moving. I mean, what is thr to c?? Time date venue.. Sigh.. Or is it just the thought that people say how if we dun train young, we be like a person dancing with 2 left feet or with a back made of plank? Embarrassment? Why wouldnt thr b? But I still wanna join.. Should I? Or should I just start of with table tennis?

Hm.. So many things I wanna do n try.. Yet oni 1 year and a half left till I graduate.. RACHEL WAT HAVE U BEEN DOING>>>?????????????

Rei

Teachers Day = Lecturers Day??

Not sure why I only just realized?? How come Taylors University celebrate Teachers/Lecturers Day and RMIT don't?? Thats just sad =(. Not sure how I even thought about this but it just randomly pop into my head.

Hm.. Ponder ponder.. Should I do a small gift for all my current lecturers as a appreciation gift? Hm.. I mean, I'm not sure how things are run here but I think I just feel like I wanna be thankful for these people who teach us.

I mean, if it wasnt for them or my teachers in the past, I probably wouldnt have learnt any non-fictional or science-fictional things XD. I would probably just learn english.

Well, will update u lil' bloggie if I do decide to do tht =). Not even sure how I should do it.

ReiRei

Already Sem 2??

Huh.. What have I been doing this whole year? Its sem 2!! Not sure why just these past few days I felt unfulfilled. Like empty yet unsure why. This blog has become a tiny journal that fills every now and then with just plain thoughts.

I wonder, is it because of the empty home? Is it the feeling of loneliness where the eyes can oni see physically?

I realize its just soo easy to turn a blind eye and be ignorant bout things. Ignoring the feeling that I do feel lonely by busying myself/just watching movies after movies.
Ignoring the fact that I feel so passive, where I wanna live back the days of doing some crazy sports, table tennis or hiking or travelling.. Or even just walk around the mall for no reason~ I miss those times..

I wanna think I am suffocating or something. But I probably be lying as I am just being a spoilt girl who wants her candy. So many many things comes to mind now that I am not accompanied by anyone 24/7.

I can start thinking a lot of things of the future. I can put myself in different situation and then ask myself, can I bear it? Am I ready for it? Majority of the answer?..

I most of the time just break down and cry then calm myself by talking to God. After that going on busying myself. What am I doing seriously???????

Results.. I really do want to achieve awesomely~ Who doesnt? Sigh.. But part just wanna break free and scream. To just enjoy myself and do what I want. But then I HAVE.. just HAVE TO go and think about whether I will be able to cope with assignments. Then I have to go and think whether I am ready for exams and FINAL exam. FINALS IS 13 WEEKS!!! I seriously overthink!! A lot of ppl nw seem quite distant.. Some bcoz I push them away.. Which I know is my fault..

Not sure how, but it was just a sudden thought when I was walking to uni. I was thinking whether the 15 years old and 17 years old me would have believe where I am now. Sometimes I think the younger me was probably stronger than the current me. Haha!! To think even at times when I'm just lying on the bed is that the time whr I was strongest was when I was oni 10 or younger.. Weird??

Enough lar fr nw.. Gonna slp~ Nite my faithful bloggie =)

Rei

Freedom yet Reflection

This freedom a lot people told me bout when u leave the nest, where you dun nid to worry bout finance yet able to roam free anywhr and anytime without eyes following you. Some parts of me wonder if it is really such a big thing. In my eyes, it feels exactly like when i'm at home. Just that when I return, I am greeted with a black silent room instead of a brightened and noise filled house.

I am grateful partly that some part of me understand that it is a maturity process. Or like some part of the bible says, a walk in the desert, a time of solitude/testing. Few things I learnt in these 4 months, endurance, self-less, bonds and probably some other things which cant come to mind now.

Dont feel like rambling a lot now but in all these things, some things which someone once told me blood is really thicker than water. No matter how much I wanted to believe sometimes that is equal, whrby no matter wat, friends will alwyz be friends n not some touch and go (sry for stealing tht ky =P)... It still pains i guess to see everytime someone change and making it look like its for gud, no more anything that existed between us, whether fren or buddies or wateva. And when i c the journey that i have gone thru just slowly fades with some ppl.. haha~ its just sad!! The oni ones that do remain are a handful of buddies/friends and my whole family!! So then why do we sometimes bother stretching wat is already so thin? Why bother create/strengthen new friendships? Hm..

Last thing i do wonder, do evil and negative grow as he/she grows older? Cause the more i wonder about it, the more i'm quite sure XD. Where do negative feelings come frm? Mostly pain and agony and torture no? However to suffer, I'm pretty/quite sure its totally different.

Its just tots~

Rei =)