Saturday, February 12, 2011

Looking From the Dark Side of ME

I do keep “posts” of when I’m angry sometimes. Just sometimes, I realize earlier, that when ur angry, you can say unintentional things. And really, I just had an urge to read my posts of when I’m angry. N it kinda scares me. Haha!! Yes, my self scares me XD. But its true!

How do I put it.. I felt so much anger!! So much hatred, so.. very blind.. Its like, literally like darkness just consuming me and letting it flow through me doing what I feel was right just to feel good in releasing it.

Not only that.. I kinda felt pain coming from it? Its like reminding me how hurt I felt when I typed that post. Dwelling on something bad just makes the person more revengeful and “savage”. Its really not a nice feeling. When ur happy, compared to when ur upset.. Which do you feel lighter?

Thanks to the memories I spent with kiwi (sister nickname a person this XD), everytime I think of kiwi.. I feel sad yet calm. I’m sure God has His reasons. But the feeling of calmness.. Has helped me n my parents a LOT these 3 days XD. Seriously.. I’m like trying to keep everything light and happy whenever dad gets impatient cause he’s worried and when mom is trying to help as much as possible =P. I realize I’m so like my mom during this time of “bonding” with my family.

Oolala~ parents bought me an hr of internet. Hehe!! Well.. Another thing I lastly wanna add. When ur happy and seeing the positive side of things even when things are bad.. Good things /rewards comes next =). Not immediately but.. It will come. If its not true.. Then I guess, God really blesses =P. Hehe!! K lar. Ish ish~ Dad askin if I typing thesis. So mean hor =P. Till city hours ;).

Love loves~

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