Cries and Hurt

How it turn out like this I dont know. I wanna die yet maybe not. I wanna cry yet i cannot. I wanna shout in anger but i feel no anger. I wanna curse but i see no point. How i wanna hate them yet i cant. How i wish i could turn bitter and turn them down. Being open does not seem to help, all it seems is to cause much hurt. Tears of joy which people see, but tears of hurt is what i feel. Though the memories i held have dear, now i have to watch them burn and scatter away. I talk in rhymes and riddles for i am silenced to speak a word. So in riddles i share my vry last words. I never meant for this to happen, neither betrayal, hurt nor pain. I nvr wanted to lose many friends.. Now it seems like i had no friends. In trouble times u push me away, in good moments u draw me near. In sadness i covered with anger. In misunderstanding both are nw hurt. I wish i could turn back time, that we never met or talked. A glance or word exchange between us nvr happen. It hurts so much just as friends, wonder if i had gone further more. In patience i hope i can endure, till the very last day i see u no more. Forgive me this is really all i can say. I have tried and can try no more. Friends probably lost i have no say. All lost in the wind with non explained. No more i hope to be apart of this. As long as hurt exist, i wish to go far away. Forgive me to all if i had done u wrong..