Looking From the Dark Side of ME

I do keep “posts” of when I’m angry sometimes. Just sometimes, I realize earlier, that when ur angry, you can say unintentional things. And really, I just had an urge to read my posts of when I’m angry. N it kinda scares me. Haha!! Yes, my self scares me XD. But its true!

How do I put it.. I felt so much anger!! So much hatred, so.. very blind.. Its like, literally like darkness just consuming me and letting it flow through me doing what I feel was right just to feel good in releasing it.

Not only that.. I kinda felt pain coming from it? Its like reminding me how hurt I felt when I typed that post. Dwelling on something bad just makes the person more revengeful and “savage”. Its really not a nice feeling. When ur happy, compared to when ur upset.. Which do you feel lighter?

Thanks to the memories I spent with kiwi (sister nickname a person this XD), everytime I think of kiwi.. I feel sad yet calm. I’m sure God has His reasons. But the feeling of calmness.. Has helped me n my parents a LOT these 3 days XD. Seriously.. I’m like trying to keep everything light and happy whenever dad gets impatient cause he’s worried and when mom is trying to help as much as possible =P. I realize I’m so like my mom during this time of “bonding” with my family.

Oolala~ parents bought me an hr of internet. Hehe!! Well.. Another thing I lastly wanna add. When ur happy and seeing the positive side of things even when things are bad.. Good things /rewards comes next =). Not immediately but.. It will come. If its not true.. Then I guess, God really blesses =P. Hehe!! K lar. Ish ish~ Dad askin if I typing thesis. So mean hor =P. Till city hours ;).

Love loves~

Hello From Australia =D

HI BLOGGIE!!! Finally in Melbourne!! Y so late?? Coz went sightseeing outside City XD. Went somewhr like mornington and peninsula. Interesting??? Btw, THIS DOES NOT FEEL LiKe SuMMER!! Its llike autumn ppl!!! Its freaking cold out here!! Well.. Super windy actually. While typing this, I’m actually not in Melbourne, waiting to go there then post this up.

Aihz.. Somehow I keep finding hard to sleep. Keep waking and slping.. So annoying.. One thing ler.. I realize y ppl like staying in Australia.. Or well outside of Melbourne. Here is like easy going, relax, country yet city like, thr are also a lot of senior citizens too XD. But seriously.. going scenic viewing, berry picking (I finally got my Strawberry!! XD), seeing ranches, black cows, white with brown patches cows, horses, meadows, high hills n etc.. Its really lovely n sweet if any guy wanna bring their gf here for holidays (=P hints for my future bf or husband XD). But honestly.. It really REALLY is very costly just trying to live here.

Another thing I realize here, there r no road bumps XD. Either tht so rare cause I didn’t feel them I think @@.

LENNA!!! I just remembered. I didn’t dare sleeveless and shorts out wei!! Super cold out here. Hopefully the city is MUCH warmer @@.

K enough talk.. Oh wait!! One last thing. Guess what was my first experience/encounter when I reached an apartment we were staying in? Our hair dryer “poofed”. Haha!! Dad got so scared to charge his laptop n phone after tht. Poofed meaning it got burnt, it “exploded”, it keep giving off this toxic smell.. Yea.. Not only tht. Unfortunately for dad, he spent $10 (not rm ppl), just on 2 hrs internet. After 1 hr 30min, he gave up figuring hw to use it =P. So yea, use tht last 30min the next day to reply SOME PPL’S emails =P. plus plus search for churches tomoro.

I cant believ I woke at… melb timing… 430am today. N I couldn’t slp!!! So kinda sms kawsi to bring calc. Forgotten mine @@... She must b wonderin y she receive sms at 2am plus =P. Hehe!!
Well, tomoro will b seeing ke ying I hope… hopefully wont b like charlotte.. thr yet cannot b seen @@..

K lar.. dad asking me y I offline yet so many things to type XD. Time to off. Hehe!! Good evening from aussie peeps ;). Ppl here r friendly..

P.s
After chatting with parents, asian guys r still more preferably my type =P. Hidden reasons behind ;)
Lub~

A New Chapter n A New Dog

The day has finally come. The time to say "bye bye Malaysia~"!! Will miss all my pillows, blankets, toys, books n the awesome foods.. Sob~ Oh of coz my friends n family! Hehe =P!! I cant believe it.. The day tht I've indirectly been expecting. The day where I have to live half-independently.. Bcoz I'm still living off my parent's money but.. Hey.. Time management, cleaning, self independency.. its all up to me now. Not sure whether I look forward to it but.. Its exciting ^^!!

This holiday.. Can say I rush to do many many things. Prob met up with few contacts, new n old, rarely chat with or havent seen in veli veli the long time. But still..

Anyway, I have nothing much to say. I'll be back every now and then =). The first few times probably short period i'm away, slowly it'll grow longer.. aihz.. i dunno wat to say ler!! Basically part of me wanna go yet dun wanna go. Ish ish~

Really grateful I can bring a toy along with me =P. I know i reachin 20 d but.. I'm alone in my room T.T!!! Lemme have someone or something tht can keep me company lar!! Here we go~ A new dog to my pack of dog collection ;)

"nice to meet you!"

"I'm THE powerful chihuahua!! Bow to me!!"

"Aren't I adorably sweet and cute? Love me~"

Erm.. Its kinda badly edited, the background, but it was all done in rush. I'm just basically passing time now. Will edit it properly next time ;p.

Hm.. looks kinda proud hm? but the sweater soooo suits the 4 season ^^. Hehe! I have a chihuahua to be with me in aussie ^^. A proud, adorable,sweet,.. somehow it looks smart too.. fine. smart looking chihuahua XD!! Hehe!!

Love~ Lub~

Journeying from Corinthians to Ecclesiastes

I have been reading Corinthians quite often over and over again. Even though I have not read finish the other books but somehow, just feels like I can learn a lot from Corinthians. Each time getting different views.

But as I was about to finish my last two chapters.. I just felt an urge to go to Ecclesiastes 3, A Time For Everything.. N I just couldn't stop reading. I journeyed on to chapter 4 then to 5. Its like.. It somehow links.. Then a question came to me, could the poor be happy? Media always shows that without money, we would never survive, we would suffer like crazy, we would always be unhappy.. Then again.. Being totally rich.. Does it give as much happiness?? Why is happiness being put with a person's finance?

Another strange thought which ponder on my mind.. Why would I suddenly read the old testament? To be honest, I read many of the new Testament books a couple of times.. Rarely touching the old testament except psalm =P. Just a feeling?

Everybody starts off with nothing. Some are just more fortunate to be able to have a bonus start, which is their parents' money. Even then, their parents had to either start from nothing or had a starting bonus. It goes on and on..

It kinda scares me whenever I think to myself, once I graduate, I have to learn to earn a living myself.. No more can I always turn to my parents.. Would I succeed? Would I fail? Am I ready? Would I be able to be as successful as them or more? All these questions..

Yet.. God asks us to trust Him.. Seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all will be added unto you.. This what confuses me.. Trusting to someone I cannot see or touch.. Its so confusing!! Yet at times I must make a decision!!

Own personal thoughts:
You feel tht way is so right!! Yet the path seems like a huge mountain you have to climb to get to the other side!! On the other hand, you see another way.. A tunnel which goes through the mountain, which seems much much MUCH easier but it feels.. not so safe.. Which would you rather risk?

I'm not saying its impossible. Maybe its because I done it so many times? I know the peaceful feeling when u agree to do your best and submit to Him your future. But I have to agree that there are times too, when I still feel uneasiness..

God wouldn't put you thru something you cannot take. Thats all I have to say =)..

Nitez~ Loves~