I dunno how long my patience can last..SERIOUSLY!!! I get it that the Lord spoke of "patience" during the weeks of fasting, I guess I really do need it.. However this.. THIS is really.. Whoaaa!!!
No driving alone till from your judgments its ok. I've been driving for a month with u beside me every morning and after school and to my sisters tuition and from their tuition.. Shouldn't I be at least ready to drive on my own? No driving on my own completely? Ok fine. At least a few days when we all know that it hard for u n I to find transport for me, YET u WANT to try this and that or force your way to this and that just so that I won't drive. Really!! And yet after, you sometimes complain. I suggested, u didn't take it. Then u complain and tell me why not next time I change my things to fit your time, or just wait till ur free then come to get me. Yay Hooray, why didn't u say that b4 pulling so many strings???
Ok. I've just sabar with that. Now I just went for my FIRST CF of the YEAR. I enjoyed myself, experience God's presence being there, realize how much CF have actually meant, realize WHY I join CF... Now u tell me to wait till YOUR JUDGMENTS SAY OK TO MY DRIVING SKILLS THEN I CAN JOIN CF?????????????????? When? When? When will that be? First u say a week, its a month, now u say till I shift to lake side.. I got a feeling it will be months AFTER I shift to lakeside. Then WHEN OH WHEN will I be able to go CF?
I know after I drive alone, I will be driving "alone" for the rest of my life, to my safety and protection you are seeing me through. You are making sure everything is alright and that u can be rest assured that I won't be caught in an accident or "die" of a certain car crash. Ok fine, I am not joking. But at least pleaase!!! Let me drive when we ALL know that everybody's time is blocked and that the simplest and most convenient way is to let me drive. FOR A DAY A WEEK OR A DAY A MONTH I DON'T MIND u know.. Aihzz.. If u wanna watch me drive after that day go ahead. I won't stop u, no one stopping u. Goodness... I have frust too ya noe...
❤❤*silence*❤❤
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Friday, March 26, 2010
Babblings 2~~
Its fun as friends. But not sure when to take u seriously.. U both love to joke, make fools or make fun out of ppl. Sure its funny and humorous. But seriously.. Coupling?? Ok lar if u jkjk for a short while. To lengthen it till asking bit too many personal Qs.. Thats AWK-WARD~~!!
Why sound surprise that I havent been in relationship? Ask the other girls we hangout with.. They too didnt have any relationship before..
Yearn for one? I guess I sometimes do. I mean.. Seeing couples walk past u every now and then.. Especially if they are bout the same age or younger.. Who wouldnt feel like coupling sometimes?
Like/Interested in a guy? Of course will de lar.. Even the girls I'm with, see got cute guy also the just look look ny lar.. If dun like guy, I probably not straight lur.. Haha!!
However why not be in one? Hm.. Scared of hurts? Probably.. Not sure if I can be committed? Maybe? Scared it turns out bad in the end? Could say. Unsure whether its God's plan? DEFINITELY UNSURE!!! Think it fulfills wat mom n dad n churches say? Err... Definitely not..
Its quite true I'm taken.. By God lar that is.. Some ppl seems to not get it..
The Bestest Boyfriend I have is a Provider AND a Supporter AND a Teacher AND a Lover AND a Comforter AND a Protector. Not to mention a jealous one too.. Yet He doesn't hate me or dislike me or do anythin bad to me when I disappoint Him at times. Or even when I short spent my time with Him.. He doesn't leave me or forsake me.. How awesome is that?
Loves~ <3
Why sound surprise that I havent been in relationship? Ask the other girls we hangout with.. They too didnt have any relationship before..
Yearn for one? I guess I sometimes do. I mean.. Seeing couples walk past u every now and then.. Especially if they are bout the same age or younger.. Who wouldnt feel like coupling sometimes?
Like/Interested in a guy? Of course will de lar.. Even the girls I'm with, see got cute guy also the just look look ny lar.. If dun like guy, I probably not straight lur.. Haha!!
However why not be in one? Hm.. Scared of hurts? Probably.. Not sure if I can be committed? Maybe? Scared it turns out bad in the end? Could say. Unsure whether its God's plan? DEFINITELY UNSURE!!! Think it fulfills wat mom n dad n churches say? Err... Definitely not..
Its quite true I'm taken.. By God lar that is.. Some ppl seems to not get it..
The Bestest Boyfriend I have is a Provider AND a Supporter AND a Teacher AND a Lover AND a Comforter AND a Protector. Not to mention a jealous one too.. Yet He doesn't hate me or dislike me or do anythin bad to me when I disappoint Him at times. Or even when I short spent my time with Him.. He doesn't leave me or forsake me.. How awesome is that?
Loves~ <3
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Babblings~
College & Uni, would they be the same?
I enjoy the classes and people here, yet really disappointed with myself.. Or is it the results? The 'reminders' I get from parents, I know its concern to me. And my own thoughts reminding me bout the condition to remain... It not only pressures me but depresses me at times. How do you think I would feel?
Btw... Joking is another thing. I really don't mind jokes. Its funny, embarrassing but its in a gud way. But sometimes.. It can be hurtful or sensitive too u noe..
How could you play 'love'? Does it mean nothing to you?
How could you say 'love' after a few days of knowing?
How do you feel this 'love' after a few sharing and outings?
How can you say it is 'love' when we barely know or tried bearing with each others' bad habits?
Do you even think of our friendship?
Hey.. I may be cheerful but I am also sensitive. I take things quite seriously most of the time, though I am loud (not angry).
Maybe if there wasn't this "condition", I probably be more relaxed? and not easily depressed. I say this to few but I dun enjoy saying it as much u enjoy listening to it. But when in time of depression or sadness.. Anything can accidentally come out. Lol.. Thinking back.. Reflecting on 2 to 3 yrs... Even if its just one year.. I know something's changed.
Love~~..
I enjoy the classes and people here, yet really disappointed with myself.. Or is it the results? The 'reminders' I get from parents, I know its concern to me. And my own thoughts reminding me bout the condition to remain... It not only pressures me but depresses me at times. How do you think I would feel?
Btw... Joking is another thing. I really don't mind jokes. Its funny, embarrassing but its in a gud way. But sometimes.. It can be hurtful or sensitive too u noe..
How could you play 'love'? Does it mean nothing to you?
How could you say 'love' after a few days of knowing?
How do you feel this 'love' after a few sharing and outings?
How can you say it is 'love' when we barely know or tried bearing with each others' bad habits?
Do you even think of our friendship?
Hey.. I may be cheerful but I am also sensitive. I take things quite seriously most of the time, though I am loud (not angry).
Maybe if there wasn't this "condition", I probably be more relaxed? and not easily depressed. I say this to few but I dun enjoy saying it as much u enjoy listening to it. But when in time of depression or sadness.. Anything can accidentally come out. Lol.. Thinking back.. Reflecting on 2 to 3 yrs... Even if its just one year.. I know something's changed.
Love~~..
Sunday, March 21, 2010
College Course
Okok!!! Since few of you been asking me to update. I am really unsure what CAN I update about. LOL!!
Well.. A lot of people are still asking me what am I pursuing. And its been getting REALLY annoying and frustrating when I hear the same response over and over again.
FOR EXAMPLE...
X = random person, R = me
X: Hi Rachel, what are you studying now?
R: Computer Science. U?
X: Eh??? I thought u said u wanted to study mass com/broadcasting?
Well, for those who still ask these Qs or curious to know. Here is my answer.
R: Well, lets just say I decided to try something that will give me a broader range of jobs. Also to assure my parents that I can make a living of my own in the future.
I still love and enjoy media arts and broadcasting, all the switching of the lights, adjusting the audio system, editing clips after clips to form an impacting/hilarious movie as well as watching people laugh and making funny expressions as they act and perform. Its a true joy. Its almost like a fantasy coming to life. I dunno bout some ppl, but thats what it is for me. True, I'm not EXCELLENT or GREAT or SPECTACULAR on it like some ppl. But its an enjoyment.
However, the reason I decided to go with Computer Science is that I can always come back to Media Arts in the future, especially if I dun like Programming. Lol!! But since there is a chance to take Computer Science, why not just try it out? If its ok and good for me, why not?
I am not angry. But I just hope that ppl would somehow understand that I did not give up on media arts. So stop asking me why did I not join media arts. Sometimes I still do feel hurt or envy when I hear ppl talk bout the enjoyment of being in that course. But I'm also the kind of person which does not like to regret. I think of not only myself but of other ppl and the future too. If it is good and it reassures, I don't mind trying it.
Someone once told me that "God will use whatever talent you have for a cause".
Also, another told me "No matter which road you take, even you ter-step into a wrong path, God will somehow direct you back to the right if you follow His ways".
Oh well, if this was really the wrong path. It only means I have taken the longer route to God. Better than being fully lost I guess. How reassuring XD.
OH!!! To some of my college friends frm Taylors (or elsewhr), yes I do believe I might be turning more feminine XD. Probably a phase =P.
Cheerio~
Loves!!!
Well.. A lot of people are still asking me what am I pursuing. And its been getting REALLY annoying and frustrating when I hear the same response over and over again.
FOR EXAMPLE...
X = random person, R = me
X: Hi Rachel, what are you studying now?
R: Computer Science. U?
X: Eh??? I thought u said u wanted to study mass com/broadcasting?
Well, for those who still ask these Qs or curious to know. Here is my answer.
R: Well, lets just say I decided to try something that will give me a broader range of jobs. Also to assure my parents that I can make a living of my own in the future.
I still love and enjoy media arts and broadcasting, all the switching of the lights, adjusting the audio system, editing clips after clips to form an impacting/hilarious movie as well as watching people laugh and making funny expressions as they act and perform. Its a true joy. Its almost like a fantasy coming to life. I dunno bout some ppl, but thats what it is for me. True, I'm not EXCELLENT or GREAT or SPECTACULAR on it like some ppl. But its an enjoyment.
However, the reason I decided to go with Computer Science is that I can always come back to Media Arts in the future, especially if I dun like Programming. Lol!! But since there is a chance to take Computer Science, why not just try it out? If its ok and good for me, why not?
I am not angry. But I just hope that ppl would somehow understand that I did not give up on media arts. So stop asking me why did I not join media arts. Sometimes I still do feel hurt or envy when I hear ppl talk bout the enjoyment of being in that course. But I'm also the kind of person which does not like to regret. I think of not only myself but of other ppl and the future too. If it is good and it reassures, I don't mind trying it.
Someone once told me that "God will use whatever talent you have for a cause".
Also, another told me "No matter which road you take, even you ter-step into a wrong path, God will somehow direct you back to the right if you follow His ways".
Oh well, if this was really the wrong path. It only means I have taken the longer route to God. Better than being fully lost I guess. How reassuring XD.
OH!!! To some of my college friends frm Taylors (or elsewhr), yes I do believe I might be turning more feminine XD. Probably a phase =P.
Cheerio~
Loves!!!
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