I wonder when or how it started. It sure didnt hit me till I saw the way u stare at her and the way u both look.. *struggling* gud.. together. Its stupid and sinful of me to envy her.

Double SS, normally it would be syok sendiri, but i think my case is stupid & sinful. Somehow most of the sins are plain stupid lar. Its just whether we wanna control onot. But knowing as we r humans, most of us we dun wan.

Is it me? Coz I c ur eyes wandering to her nw and then. Or u go quiet when her name is said.

I nvr been nervous being with her b4. We were so close friends.. Well, sorta i guess XD. Now.. I dun even feel rite. Like I am being compared. I get nervous. I get irritated. I feel a bit frustrated and sad..

It is not our destiny to be together I know.. Somehow I just know lar!! Thrs so many things b4 me, for example like an ice berg, medium size b4 ur eyes. HOwever below thr is something bigger that will block. No way we could be together (mayb i am in denial or just to assure myself, i not sure). I dun even understand how in the world I like u in the first place.

Its weird lar. Not to mention funny and ridiculous. For me, I didnt think once I would have feelings for u.. U of all ppl -.-" ... Still wondering nw k.. But i keep thinkin bout ur voice when sing.

Its these annoying FEELINGS!!! Admiration of how u treat the ppl around u, like-liking how ur voice sounds, joyful to c ur smile, inspired maybe by the way u take things.. Every nw and then just wanna hear ur voice n see ur smile.. Sometimes I c ur tired but u dun care.

I see u most of the time.. I'm happy being around ur company. But so far, I do not know how to tel others or my closest friends who u r..YET?? I can tel ur liked by many and will have an awesome girl as ur partner in the future.

I just wonder whether thr r still more guys like u in the outer world. Mayb better =P. Sigh.. Everytime oso like this, especially when I start liking a guy. Keep thinkin of him, bla bla bla..

Lord ar!! Vry hard ler tryin to be single till I start working!! Wonder how long more I can go >.< ... The more I wanna stay single, the more I seem to like this guy or tht guy. But all oso like.. seeing a mountain b4 me, an iceberg in my way, a rocky path with nvr ending boulders tht I have to climb past, etc..

No matter how much i like this guy or tht guy.. So far I keep havin tht feelin he is nt the one. I feel a bit bad actually.. I admit lar. Its like feelings of being a playgirl. Like this fella then tht.. Aihzz... Lord.. what r u REALLY using me for i seriously wonder..

A verse tht has been playing in my head recently

"For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain. Philippians 1:21"