Is everything fake??

I know there are ppl who care, I know that they do think for my good. However when I am in depression or when some things go terribly wrong. What am I suppose to think?? All those negative stuff that has been accumulated since young, that has never been told or shared.. All of them just seem to flow out and cloud my thoughts. Feeling of nothingness and feeling like a mistake born into the world. I am unsure of what to think. God say I have a purpose in life. Ppl say that I was not born by mistake. Then.. why does these thoughts fill me?? Some ppl say I am too free, but I feel like I am not. Everyday is filled with something different. At night I get all tired out and fall asleep easily. Need I say more? After a certain age, unsure when it started.. Depression had kicked in and slowly grown. I don't know why. I feel like I am not needed anymore. I am not talented, neither am I smart. I am hopeless at many stuff plus I always bring inconvenience. I can only cause trouble and hurt to ppl. Do you know what is the feeling of someone you care for saying they hate you or wish you were dead felt like? Or the ppl that you love avoids you? Lol.. Some of the ppl I talk with say I think too much.. Some of them even say thinking of others often or for their own good just lets them take advantage over me. Haha.. I dun understand how does ppl be cold and hot at the same time.. Or is it because I am always confined so I still dun see the light? Am I blinded?? I can confirm that after this is type.. After a few minutes, I confirm that I will return to my usual self. Whr I see that my life is neutral. Lol.. I wonder does anyone knows what I think.. Sigh.. This stuff comes and goes.. Oh well... its frequent but I hav nthg to say adi.. Cant help being emo.. Feel like shutting myself out..