Thoughts of the Heart ♥

♥ Supper - Dessert ♥

2012-01-24T21:48:00.003+08:00

Our midnight snack~ Yummy!! Banana Split with Red Velvet Cake and topped off with red wine~

ReiRei

Red Velvet Cake

2012-01-24T01:49:00.002+08:00

Its CNY!!! Actually past 12am d so probably 2nd day of CNY, but anyhow~ Me and Eunice had our first try at baking our first cake using a microwave oven!! Woah~ How awesome is that!! Turned out success except we forgot to leave the mould on when pouring the icing. Hehe~ But HAPPY Chinese NEW Year Everyone!! Gong Xi Fatt Cai!! Da Ji Da Li!!

Rach

Knife & Tray Hunt

2012-01-22T15:33:00.002+08:00

Sometimes online shopping would be soo much better!! Not to mention convenient. Its like you're not sure which shops sells the item you want cheaper therefore... me and Eunice were like walking to 3 different stores about 3 sub-streets apart from each other. Fine.. Two main street apart from each other. But it was still quite a walk.

And funny thing is when you found out that the first shop was cheaper, you don't quite have the energy to go there anymore. Not to mention that shops here close SUPER early so its really not worth making the trip even by public transport.

What annoys me even more was that whenever we found the perfect one, its either the last one or dented or later found out there was another cheaper one. Aaargghh... N because of varities on brands (knives) it got so hard to choose. Trinity? Satin Touch? Then another I forgot.. Aiyooo... Headache ar.. But whats done is done.

As for the pan.. Looks like another day we shall buy. Aih.. Then found out oso that although "Little Penguin" is a brand from Aussie (i think), its like not many people knows it. OR its so far available in only ONE alcohol shop. Sad dun u think?

Well thats that for today. Soo tired.. Had only 4 hour of slp and at church was listening to pastor teach us chinese words coz its CNY eve and then later celebrate his birthday.

Extra:
Just slight xtra news on that. I don't understand why sooo many people has to pray and make the congregation wait for them to say their looong prayer and thanks. If u wanna pray for the pastor then go right ahead and make it short and straight to the point then give others to pray. Aih... If not do it with a group of people and not involve the whole congregation lar.. Then somemore some people were crying.. He isnt leaving or some scary situation!! *face palm* Its just a birthday and u're not even blood related~ Its really very strange... First time first time...

ReiRei

Eunice, My New Housemate for 2012

2012-01-21T21:52:00.002+08:00

Yum yum~ Just finish eating our dinner!! Green Thai Curry, self-made ^^. We did sooo much shopping too just to cover for the next 5 days. Goodness.. Never carried soo much things before. But yet after split oso realized was very much worth it.

I never had a housemate before, this will definitely be an experience~ Hearing other peoples views saying how there are quarrels at times or arguments.. I hope we have none or be ok. Not sure what can or cannot do either. Oh well~

At least few things for sure~ She is just as an adventurous eater as I am as long as we don't slaughter or eat tamed/rare animals meat. Haha! Or.. basically thats it~! Can't wait for the real student life to start i guess. I'm so excited to bake and experiment cooking with her.

Sadly didn't get to do this last year as I was living alone. Ah well~ C lar~

ReiRei

With Trials Comes Fruits --- Prov 3:1-12

2012-01-20T23:51:00.005+08:00

My son, do not forget my teaching,

but keep my commands in your heart,

for they will prolong your life many years

and bring you prosperity.

Let love and faithfulness never leave you;

bind them around your neck,

write them on the tablet of your heart.

Then you will win favour and a good name

in the sight of God and man.

Trust in the LORD with all your heart

and lean not on your own understanding;

in all your ways acknowledge him,

and He will make your paths straight.

Do not be wise in your own eyes;

fear the LORD and shun evil.

This will bring health to your body

and nourishment to your bones.

Honor the LORD with your wealth,

with the firstfruits of all your crops;

then your barns will be filled to overflowing,

and your vats will brim over with new wine.

My son, do not despise the LORD’s discipline

and do not resent his rebuke,

because the LORD disciplines those he loves,

as a father the son he delights in.

Loads Of Unpacking

2012-01-20T23:38:00.002+08:00

After 3 days of lugging, am settling into my new apartment with my new housemate~ So exciting!! We have been walking from our old apartment to the new one just backpacking, trolley-ing and luggag-ing at the same time. Finally today, we have completed 98% thanks to her cousin and his wife.

Not long after that, the horror of looking at our living room being SOOO FULL with hardly any space to walk.. We gradually unpack and organised our things. Phew~ It was like from 630pm all the way up to 230am. Of course we had dinner at 10pm for a short while then continued.

Well, this is my first time really handling my own shifting and it was quite... interesting. Haha! Well, was good exercise~ Now gonna end this and take my shower! Phew~!

ReiRei

Most amusing sentence I received today... "U guys decorate it so cutely!" Haha~ it = apartment

My First Plan/Hope For 2012 Sem1

2012-01-19T21:31:00.002+08:00

Its been 3 days or so thinking and asking what can I do this semester. Don't wanna repeat last year where I went all out at the beginning then... *poofed* at the end.

Nono~ Seeking and seeking and maybe not seeking hard enough for what discipleship and evangelism truly mean. And the more I seek, somehow the more answers I get!! Its suppose to narrow down!! Why is it increasing??

Anyhow, what hit me most is for this sem, I wanna see students "Enjoy & Have a Memorable Uni Life". How to do this ler? Why ler?

Probably everyone has their own plans and I myself cannot be for certain how many would join. But I dislike the idea of JUST STUDYING/ASSIGNMENTS in Uni. And since being a uni student, its obviously clear to me how preparing dinner can sometimes be a hassle. Should I book the lounge for a number of people to study there and have dinner/titbits? Then again, where am I gonna get the money? Would it be troublesome as there might not be any internet?

Going through so much trouble, I probably have to discuss with my parents and building manager too. Yikes? But for me.. I cant study in a library.. I dunno how many out there feels the same but you wont see me studying in an area where I can see many stressed out/serious looking faces. Haha!

Well~ This coooould come in as outreach? Really need to seek more on this. Then again, I doubt my parents wan me to bring trouble to myself each time. Hope they dun think I attract trouble coz.. looking back I probably really do bring it upon myself unconsciously. Heh?

ReiRei

Rest Is Also Moving Forward

2012-01-16T20:29:00.002+08:00

Although these 2 days I have been sleep deprived (refer to previous post), today after much walking and loving the sun, was lying on the bed listening to music, glancing at the clouds every now and then, and reading Holy Discontent.

Yesss. After many years I continued the book and wasn't exactly reading chapter by chapter but selecting chapters to read. Extraordinarily everytime I pose a question (alone so just questioned out loud), after a few pages it answers me back. Weird..

The answer of course wasn't direct or clear cut but the headings titled the same question I posed without the "what/how/why". Either that, english essay is just structured like that.

Out of the whole few hours, what struck me most was REST. I hear it often,

"rest!!"

To be honest I reflected back that I most of the time push forward and forward till I'm gonna break then only I rest (sometimes after I break). Which I believe tears me down often. Making me feel emotional or depressed.

Same as games, I push and push then when no more energy I try to find places to get energy then continue pushing again. Until really nothing then I stop. Assignments I will do till almost next morning then when finally exhausted, I fall aslp and miss class. Not very gud eh?

Normally I would always think that resting is just to rest. To recover. Not very important as the task before me. Guess I'm wrong~ I will talk to people bout sling shots. To wait and be patient then puuuush forward. From the book, this waiting doesnt necessary means building, but sometimes could mean resting.

Don't over rest and don't under rest. Having just enough is sufficient to let you feel energize and not lazy or fatigued. Think about it~ TRY IT~!

ReiRei

Sleep Deprived

2012-01-16T20:15:00.004+08:00

Goodness.. I wanna say that I have no idea what-so-ever of why I am unable to sleep the past 2 nights but I think.. I think, I know why.

Last 2 days been so engrossed in playing risk : faction. Fb game. Lol!! Keep thinking how to win then so frustrating just waiting for soldiers to be made ready so can continue battling. But when time to sleep.. GG... Physically knows its time to sleep. BUT mentally!! Still thinking on the game. Garh!!

When try to stop thinking about games, mind goes wandering to other stuff like what to cook, what to buy, should I schedule my timetable morning or evening classes, what might happen this year.. Etc etc et.. Aiyoyoyo... Tonite MUST try to slp b4 2am!!

Rach

Cleaning and Ice Cream

2012-01-10T23:28:00.002+08:00

2 hours of apartment cleaning, about an hour plus of ice cream shopping and other stuff. Waaah~ Feel so happy~!! Nice ending for the day!! Well, can't wait to try making some of those bailey chocolate drink and desserts together with some wine!! Aaaah~ Soon to be, soon to be~

Well, gotta sleep now. Tomoro planning on helping a fren with apartment hunting. Looks like many of my frens will be here studying soon! Gotta help gotta help!! So... TTFN~

ReiRei

What Next?

2012-01-09T23:32:00.003+08:00

Iya.. Another drama ended d. Aihz.. Finish watch My Princess and feeling the story really too good to be true ler. Few more weeks or should I say approximately 2 more months before Uni starts again. Am I ready ar?

Oh! This year ar.. I think really gonna hold a lot a lot of new surprises ler. Staying with Eunice, couple of frens coming here to study. Some from uni back at home and some from high school. Aihz.. What does this year have in store for me ler?

Hm.. Family will be coming down to visit me too. Wonder if I will go into short term depression again when they leave.

Then there is cell which I need to decide and OCF too. Aih.. What should I do lar.. Then again.. I don't think theres much I can do. All depends on other peoples opinions too. My position ar.. If they not committed.. I also cant do anything. Really.. I sometimes feel these people ar, dont realize that although its a society, it works up and down! Committee cant do anything if members no enthusiasm. Members oso cant do anything if committee no plans. Then! Both sides request to do something.. BUT dun wanna exert energy. Like that how can.. Aihz.. This kind of things ar.. Since high sch till now I nvr understood. Some people ar.. Wan things done magically. Too bad we dun have magic!

Aih! Finish watch my drama only hear some annoying things. What to watch next ar.. Decide tomoro night lar! Tomoro gonna have cleaning time at my apt! Nite now!!

ReIReI

Now Watching..

2012-01-08T12:37:00.003+08:00

I know its not good and no life just watching so many movies and dramas but I dont currently have a job although I dont mind one. And its almost uni days again. So.. Cut me slack for this is my first time watching a lot of dramas and movies~!!

Finished watching KO3 aka San Guo(三国). A Taiwan show, not too bad but oni interesting part for me was when Chen De Xiu was acting and other small funny parts. A lot of love triangles... A LOT~~~

My new next drama I'll be watching is My Princess. Not a bad start so far.. Slowly getting funny when the main guy character starts being a tutor.

Thats all I'll say~ Wanna watch go watch!! Or for frens, can ask me to borrow you no problem~! Cya~!!

Rei

Missing Piece : Unfound

2012-01-08T12:22:00.002+08:00

Its already a year being in Aussie. Either its the freedom that is too much or the missing puzzle piece which I keep feeling is real. After church sermon today, it caught me thinking bout my Spiritual health. How is it? How healthy is it?

To be honest..Doesnt feel that well. Kinda explains why been feeling so down? Was all the problems I was going through just an excuse to let myself drown in pity? Hm.. I had tried church hopping/visiting. Realized never tried cell church hopping/visiting. I mean.. Aussie culture is very different. U come or go, not sure if they use the term as "not forcing" as "not accountable".. I understand what they mean but a lot of people, especially uni students/young adults goes to different churches for sermon and a different church for cell. Weird? At first yea.. but kinda understand why.

My basic background understanding would at first reject this idea. I mean, church is your house/home rite? Why r you going everywhr? Cant you stick to one?

Then realized the difference.. Back home, church had adults, uni, teens, kids AND even toddlers section. Here.. Its mostly adults OR teens OR mix. Not saying that its bad but.. Cell for me is really connecting with your church people. I nvr understood the importance of having similar ages to interact cause my church had already been aware of it and instilled it.

Here.. There isnt. I like the fact that every age comes together for sermon. But connecting time.. Its kinda hard to share life generally with age groups that are either much older or much younger. Never realized this till now. But nvr too late to try =). So I'm going to try cell church hopping/visiting for few months. Will update the happenings ^^.

REIREI

Mm.. Still got bad habits of emoticons but at least got two oni. Cutting cutting~!!

An Artist Life

2012-01-03T20:39:00.002+08:00

After thinking a bit, and since I keep laughing whenever he does silly things. Really hard to imagine what an artist or famous people's lifestyle is like. Here in shows they look so funny and expression also is made just to amuse us watchers. But their real personality.. Hm.. Really makes me wonder ler. Now watching Xiu trying to get this girl he like in the drama, not necessary he will be like that in reality chasing a girl rite? Aihz.. Drama really is just a drama. And having an actor or artist as a lover ar.. Actually not that easy oso. Hm.. Sometimes think it will be not so bad. Bt after awhile.. Its really just dream dream only.

Plus reading his blog. Seems like everybody sooooo attentive to his worries. But frm the sound of it, he's just living a typical normal guy lifestyle. Own worries and headaches.. Plus.. dunno why lar.. feel his blog sound very sad. Sadder than mine.. Aihz.. Gan ma I go share his worries. Yoh! Dun wan think lar~! Just enjoy the show shud b enuf, not like he knows me or I know him in reality hor. Shower~!!!

Smile lar~ ;)
ReiRei

Sad but Firm

2012-01-03T20:30:00.002+08:00

Always growing up without hearing anyone passing away, really makes you think that they will be with you always while you're young. However, tend to forget that as we grow older, people grow older too.

Hearing my friends' situations, losing the people they love.. Although I never reach that far, but I could understand the feeling of not being there when bad things happen. Wanting to do something but am too far away. Wishing there was some way I could protect them from being hurt or doing something in my power.. It really is one of the most painful ever. And since many of us are just international students.. Not sure who we can turn to to talk it out or understand us.

We always look to our parents as being invincible, strong, powerful and almost eternal. Never or rarely thinking they will leave us anytime soon. Alas we are still just humans with limited life length. Lord and Father in Heaven, I know that Your plans are never to harm us or hurt us, but just to make us better. But for this I pray for my brothers that You could somehow lessen their family's and their pain. All the more we should remember to cherish those who are with us now, than leaving each other with a last memory so depressing. When we are weak, please give us strength and hold us close.

ReiRei

梦王子

2012-01-02T22:33:00.004+08:00

懒惰谈恋爱了！还是现在趁我那么年轻的时候，去梦一梦喜欢的艺人吧。 Hm。。这些男人啊，是不会爱上但没有错喜欢对不对？哈哈！！一两年前，喜欢的是韩国男生。现在啊。。是台湾人咯~！他弹吉他好棒又好帅！反应也是可爱一下。可能看他表演太多了。。来来介绍~ 他名叫

陈德修 !!!!

可惜他比我大九年。但看还是很年轻。下面就是我新梦王子的照片咯～喜欢就慢慢看吧！哈哈！！我先告辞～

ReiRei

Review on Blog Design

2012-01-02T22:26:00.002+08:00

Hm.. Not really much of a designer. Although got some ideas.. Dunno how to draw/design it out. Ah well, was too late last night to try. Designing the background was my first time and.. Looks ok but I guess colour looks a bit sad. Hm.. Shuda go for white. Aiya! Shuda saved one as a draft. Now if wan change oso have to start all over again. Next time next time~

While trying to do the header.. No idea how to save just the words as jpg and make background transparent. Is it not possible? Shud b can ar! Ish.. Nid more research and practice. When got mood again then try ba =P!

ReiRei

...Ish! Tried so hard not to put emoticons. Still i go put a stick out tongue above! Change change~ Nearly did it again. Art can actually be an awesome hobby! <3

2012

2012-01-01T19:18:00.003+08:00

2012 here d!! Kinda forgotten all about this blog till was reading an artist's blog. Hehe!! Thank God I havent forgotten the email to this blog and the password. Hm.. New year so must have new layout design. N since I quite free... Why not I take my time redecorating this blog again!

Something I gotta learn to cut down is those emoticons. Too addicted d~ Till next time~!!

Rach

Pillar and Weight

2011-08-28T22:19:00.003+08:00

Been just going through some things. Sometimes I don't know if its just my mind playing with me or I'm just too oblivious. I can confirm that right now, I feel I'm supporting many. How the Lord do it I don't know. I'm glad some ppl call me older sister even though they are older. Sometimes I also wonder where I can find my own older sibling. I guess I have but they are over the seas XD.

As for my partner, I guess I still have not realize or seen him yet. So far most of the guys as I past one by one, each has a weight they carry and hoping someone they can lean on. I too wanna chuck my weight somewhr =P!! But I'm glad/honoured the Lord uses me to remind them to lean upon Him and that its oni His approval we need to strive for.

"Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ. - Galatians 1:10"

Still oh still, there are so many times now where I just feel like dropping everything and go with the wind. Like just doing what I want.

Time is actually a lot. And I realize if I did not serve, I could have been doing a lot more other things. Good and bad I guess XD. But no how, like the above. Like the verse said, I only need to please God. Not myself or anyone else.

Sigh.. Thnx to winter I got super flabby arms now. ISH!! Really gotta figure a way to slim them down -.-". So disproportional to my other body parts ><. Must figure a way or cannot wear spaghetti straps in summer!! Faint in heat!!!

Rach

Time Management

2011-08-21T20:47:00.002+08:00

Serving the Lord is awesome. Yet sometimes I tend to forget that I am still a student. Sigh, part of me wanna quickly graduate and go missionary or something. However I also wanna enjoy being a student n doing wat I can do now as a student or even as a UNI student. I mean, its fun~! U get to travel n etc. I slowly starting to realize the freedom and things I could do without my parents here. The choices I have been given while I am alone.

Can I really do what I enjoy yet keep my grades up?

ReiRei

Being Picky / Somehow Knowing

2011-08-21T20:29:00.003+08:00

Is it normal to find someone only after you graduate? Or to start having a serious relationship only when you graduate? Hm.. I'm really content and happy being single. It allows me to roam free, to be and talk with anyone I like. To do anything according to my time. However, laughable as it may be, I dun wanna marry late ><.

What am I thinking.. I'm still young but just thinking bout mom getting married at 24.. I dun wanna to be married after 27 ler ><. I wonder if thts the plan God has for me >
Some ppl are asking me to just go with whoever ask me now just to get experience of what being in a relationship but i really wonder..I wan a relationship i do, but i dun wan a one nite stand or one month or one year stand. Will this really be possible?

Is thr someone out there which doesnt expect me to be the dependable one? But actually willing and wanting to share the weight together? So tired of guys that just look at me as if I can carry my own and their weight.

Rach

Friend but not a friend

2011-08-09T11:50:00.002+08:00

I'm not sure why I bother feeling hurt everytime she does this seriously. Its not just once but dunno how many times d. Partly I joined societies and clubs, ESPECIALLY sports. Being in a place where I'm not around her sometimes makes me feel free to be who I am without feeling confined. Not that I am being controlled by her but just sometimes I felt like she wanted us to be close frens yet I dunno... It seems more like effort to keep it together is me?

I mean, introducing her to new things and encouraging her to try out for experience. Or just calling her to join coz I know it would be gud for future.. Like.. Sometimes I feel like slapping myself. Why Am I Being So Nice To Her For??? Recalling every situation, sometimes she cares if she realize that I am prep for it. Or if she really feel like she need it thn ask me to accompany her. Like..

Whats partly infuriating probably to me is that, I am probably too naive to think that some people would think that friends means ensuring each others benefits/life is stable. But she.. Seriously? I have no words for her. Its like she is in her freaking own world. I dunno if this a test from God or wat but.. my goodness... I just feel like dumping her alone. I feel like i am used and some companion/informatic for her only when she needs it.

So far I cant really recall anything that she actually shared. Most of her friends its nt like she intro them to me until I met them after awhile and both of us bump into them and she realize i met them -.-. Like... SERIOUSLY?????????

Any word to describe the word I am placing on her now? Selfish. Sure I am sounding super harsh and maybe forgetting to even look at myself right now but.. Ish!! Last time I would be sadden n troubled knowing she felt hurt everytime I say like this/scold her or just argue with her. But now.. I am SOOO tempted to drop her like she keep expecting me to whn we argue.

Sigh.. Somehw someone just reminded me that God forgive us more than we hav forgiven others. So looks like I gotta just pray more..

ReiRei

Trusting by Faith

2011-08-07T19:07:00.005+08:00

I remember I used to alwyz tell the Lord or my pastors that asking me to sacrifice myself or anything except family I can do. Where the hardest thing for me to do would without a doubt be sacrificing my own parents or siblings, Abraham and Isaac. Well, so far in my mind that was my thought. I also use to think that if someone was to put a gun at my head or similar situation, I would no doubt take the shot or sacrifice myself for my family instead of denying God or Christ.

This semester even as I begin my journey, I realized 2 things. I can say all I want but in reality, I myself am not sure how i'll take it if the situation arises. I know that I wont be able to deny God but.. am I really not scared to die? I really question myself.

I guess God has finally shown me that I really DO need to entrust EVERYTHING to Him. Now that I am away from my family, I'm not sure why I don't see it like most students do? For me, I tend to worry sometimes like what happens if something happened and my parents or siblings needed help? Or they were in danger and I am too far away? The feeling of helpless-ness.. I believe God is telling me, this is a period of Faith. To have Faith that God is control of every situation my parents and siblings are in. I remember at the beginning of last sem when my parents left for the second time, I couldnt bear thinking I would be so far away from them and suddenly thinking of situations of friend's elder sibling or friends' friends feeling as some of them lost their parents or whole family.. And how were they able to take it? I thought to myself, I probably go crazy and ballistic. Or depression beyond measures.

But then God showed me, many missionaries had to entrust to God their love relationships, family relationships and etc to God even as they go and do what could probably put them in danger. How are the parents or their love ones feeling? How were they able to be calm and patient although they were sad?

I believe its the FULL trust they had in God. Where God always has a reason for somethings to happen. And as long as we follow His commands, He will see us through till we finish our purpose given to us by our Creator.

Again and again I am feeling and thinking now like.. As amazing as it sounds to be part of God's movement, its sometimes unfair for those that lose their love ones. Its sad to see the righteous get shot down because ppl feel intimidated. Its confusing sometimes knowing actually you have a chance to live a life just caring bout urself and drowning in ur own pleasures instead of caring for others and laying ur life for ur brothers as Christ has lay His life for us.

Maybe I'm hallucinating or something but sometimes I feel like I'm in a strange dimension, that something supernatural is about to happen. That everything I see around me now is gonna disappear or vaporize into thin air any minute. But its still there, yet I feel there is something urgent I need to realize. What is it? I'm only a casual student studying and hoping to get a proper job with good pay in the future and have a loving family and maybe if possible create this huge mansion for my family, my parents, my siblings' family all to live in together. Hm.. Haha!!

But yea.. this Friday, I prob see things different from many ppl. Or prob doesnt know/understand as much as some ppl. I dunno how, I'm scared, I'm speechless, my mind is blank.. Yet Lord.. What do You want me to do?

ReiRei

Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. - Hebrews 11:1

Discovering Myself

2011-08-03T18:53:00.004+08:00

Who am I? A girl that just studies and go back and forth between her home and uni is so not the Rachel I know lor. Now that I think about it.. That girl who is just so studios, non-socialable and work focus only.. Thats not me, is it?

I guess its a good thing that Rachel wanna grow independent, try to minimize as much spending as she can. Try to achieve the best of the best in her results. This may probably not be the best time to test this out but.. Some part of me just feel like letting go. Just do everything I can now, knowing that after I start working, I probably wont have a better chance to do it anymore.

I guess here is where I learn "how much is too much"? Knowing to spend but not over spending, socializing n having fun yet coping with exams, assignment and classes. Can I do it? Can I do all I wanna do yet maintain or pass my subjects XD?

However, even as I wanna enjoy life to the fullest and not just study and not experience what students life is all about, I know God warns me bout enjoying too much =). I heed the warning my parents use to tell me that I may/am not smart like some genius whr they play all day yet score HD/full marks at the end of the sem, therefore should cut down on activities. And I agree cause according to God's Word, fun is needed and given, but we should not over do it.

"To the man who pleases him, God gives wisdom, knowledge and happiness, but to the sinner he gives the task of gathering and storing up wealth to hand it over to the one who pleases God. This too is meaningless, a chasing after the wind. - Ecclesiastes 2:26"

"The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. - John 10:10"

How more evident do I need to show how much the Lord is willing to provide you everything you need? Blessed is he who pleases the Lord.

What is about to be shown next, although is long, I think its very applicable to my current situation. I was surprise and felt a great relief when I saw the title somehow XD.

Remember Your Creator While Young - Ecclesiastes 11:7-10

⁷ Light is sweet,
and it pleases the eyes to see the sun.
⁸ However many years a man may live,
let him enjoy them all.
But let him remember the days of darkness,
for they will be many.
Everything to come is meaningless.

⁹ Be happy, young man, while you are young,
and let your heart give you joy in the days of your youth.
Follow the ways of your heart
and whatever your eyes see,
but know that for all these things
God will bring you to judgment.
¹⁰ So then, banish anxiety from your heart
and cast off the troubles of your body,
for youth and vigor are meaningless.

Nothing more I can say with this =). Harsh as it probably sound, but I know God just wants to make sure we are safe rather than drunk and blur and being an easy prey for the devil.

So conclusion? Rachel is not a couch potato neither can she be a plain studious person. That is just a dead corpse Rachel if she does that. Seeing my past life, I just have too much drama and excitement and heart breaks (lol?) to be dead ;)

ReiRei

Servants Retreat

2011-07-31T22:49:00.002+08:00

Hey bloggie~

I'm back from Servants Retreat~!!!! Was really refreshing even though it was just a day and a half or less probably. But it was still really good =). Felt like I was there for few days. We had Aunty Marilyn to come and speak to us. And seriously.. I really CANNOT shake this nagging feeling that I am hearing preaching after preaching which I have already heard from Ps Chew or Ps Daniel back in church. SERIOUSLY~!! Well, maybe they were in different sentences but the verses were thr. The points were can say exact.. Its just so reminding..

Part of me feel like saying "yes yes I know this, I've heard this before", but not sure why today I just felt like questioning myself "Rach, are you sure you really know this..?" . Do I?

Its also kinda freaky and touching at how God sometimes show how real He can really be in our lives. I am not gonna mention the past ones in Melbourne but just in this retreat.

On Friday, the day before leaving for Servant Retreat, we were told what we hope to gain/achieve/do this sem in OCF or just in our own walk with God. I listed 3 things:

1. To be Faith challenged;
2. To memorize memory verses; and
3. To live a prayerful lifestyle.

It just came to mind and I was like ok. Didnt expect during Servants Retreat Saturday and Sunday Aunty Marilyn would emphasize so much on these 3. Well, looks like I'm on the right track?

What further surprise me was that, if looking back in my blog, I cannot deny the fact that when I first came to Melbourne I kept asking God to let me do something. And guide me to use my gifts. Guess what??

God has been giving me challenges~!! Challenges that challenge my faith and trust in Him!! I wont say wat they are yet, and u know wat?? When I was presented with it, I kept telling myself I'm not ready when in fact, I was praying for it!! BLUR MUCH RACH?? Another thing, God had answered my prayer regarding building my talent.. OCF vision since 30 or 32 years ago.. Basically waaaay back dino age ago (Hehe~ Learn from Aunty Marilyn), their vision were like to be apostles.

Here were the visions:
1. Reach Out - Evangelism
2. Build Up - Discipleship
3. Send Back/Home - Apostleship

Getting out of our comfort zone to reach out to the lost, building them in confidence and faith, sending them back to impact their own nations. From this retreat, I really cannot stop singing this song with few others. But this song was what hit me most.

I hope it gives you hope and renewed strength each and every day. For each and every Word you mean this to God, I hope it strengthens your faith in Him.

Agape
Rei ♥♥

The 2nd Club~!!

2011-07-29T22:47:00.003+08:00

I have finally join a new club!! The table tennis club!!! Or well sport club.. Whatever @@.. Society.. club.. starting to brain down. Yea.. Was really really excited bout going. I mean.. After class I just couldnt wait to go and change attire (coz winter wear 3 layers exclude jacket. Then if wear that while playing indoors.. Crazy ler @@).

Realize was an hr early so went and doughnut coffee bliss with Ke Ying ;p. I never knew that the 2 Original Glaze could be replace with any of the doughnuts and still be charged same price. Or even change the coffee to hot chocolate and STILL have it the same price. OR Both~!! AND STILL HAVE IT FOR $6.50~!! How awesome is that~ I so recommend the doughnut coffee bliss for tea~

Oh after that, I still had like half an hour to kill. So I went to the venue and decided to slowly take my time and change. Didnt expect 2 ppl thr setting up already.. So yea, sport started at 230pm. We all took turns playing. I think everyone minimum had 3-4 games throughout the time period. It felt really long since I been watching ppl play or even have a game with them.

It seems also that my smashing will never not be notice @@. I think after few rounds with the state or national players (I was really sucky.. I mean.. 2/11 is so not cool. Haha!! But to be even able to get points frm them was cool XD) they starting bullying by giving me high balls to smash. Which also remind me of my height!!! ARRH!!! And after not playing for almost a year, I felt SOOO TIRED after awhile. Where did all my stammina run to?

The last half an hr (or maybe 45 min) they started having this crazy endurance game i think.. 4 tables would have an individual competition of 11 points. Which table finish first ends that whole round for every table. If you have lower points, you move down. If you have higher points, you move up. At the lowest table if u have lower points, you get out of the game and the person waiting in turn goes in.

First 3 games I kept going between table 1 and 2. The vry low ones. Haha!! But as time passes.. MAN~!! My legs were half jello that I not oni needed to bend to maintain balance but oso bend so that I wont feel too tired!! And this Cambodian player can still order me to smash harder when I am barely standing up. He said so I can improve. @@ Every round I start to see everyone losing stamina. Haha!! Some ppl just stop playing strokes and went for spins and down-under balls and close nets so dun nid to move and exert as much strength. Except for one guy who really like playing speed ball. Man..

But yea.. Haha!! At the end I was completely thirsty and out of water. Went slurpie with them (C lucky I change so I dun have to be in sweat and walk out in cold!! I did change after the game finally ended though). Then head for OCF. Was an hr early so chatted with Joon and Sahitya who were already thr. I felt like such a blur person as I was trying so hard to maintain alertness and not fall aslp. Haha!! The couch really felt so nice~ (Which later Sahitya agreed full hearted when he sat~)

Anyway yea.. I should be slping. Tomoro got a long day of Servants Retreat. Hopefully I can wake up and HOPEFULLY NOT BE SORE!! Hope also that at the camp my legs wont just give out if we are sitting too long. Okok~ Eyes shutting d. Nite!!

Raaaae-i?

Holy Discontented

2011-07-28T22:02:00.002+08:00

Just one last thing I thought I remind myself even as I read back in future ;). As a Christian, have you ever felt the fire of being Holy Discontent??

Where you just wanna go out there and do something but not sure what. Touch others lives but not sure how. Do something bid but dunno whr to start. Seeing lives impacted and changed for the greater good.

Knowing that Christianity is never just about preaching and talking but a lifestyle and passion. Something you WANT to do and not need to do.

Hm.. Half way reading the book~ N it really is exciting ^^.

ReiRei

An Idea

2011-07-28T20:45:00.005+08:00

Random simple ideas keep coming into my head when I shower. I really gotta ask God to change that. Hm.. It makes it harder to remember sometimes when I wanna jot it down for future reference.

But yea.. Recently I guess I have just got ideas such as charity, blessing ppl, paying for ppl's laundry money, cooking ppl dinner, randomly dropping friendly notes into ppl's mail boxes, and etc. But nvr really getting them done cause either I feel stupid, weird, awkward, wondering wat other ppl might be thinking.. You know~ Those stuff~!! I AM VERY SURE EVERYONE HAS AT LEAST A MOMENT OF THAT!!! (or more)

So yea, lets just say the new idea which popped into my head was creating a website. More exactly, a chatting forum. Or a forum of thoughts/opinions. I really have no idea how to put it. But basically its a form of discussion, ppl's view of lifestyle and socials. I know I know, we have lots of those.

Just thought of having or making a team. The forum where it talks about styles, clothes, movies, studies, relationships, games, life experience, hobbies, interest, technology, internet, career and so on. Then having a few sort of known counselors which could give on advice, etc etc. I mean.. A place where it is not allowed to post politics or whatever govermental issues.

But more like a place if you have seriously NOTHING to do and just wanna spam. Why not put ur opinion in a place where you never know if it will help? A place that could shows views of different cultures or maybe views of different genders and age groups. A place where you can shout out what you think and be acknowledge yet no one knowing who you really are (as long as you dun post everything bout ur real self).

Something similar to facebook whereby is global I guess, except.. A place where everyone with similar interest but different views can share their points. Who knows, sometimes we can learn something out of it. Who knows, we might even be encouraged bout it. Either that, who knows if your idea is actually an awesome one and one day you see it happening before your very eyes~!! (ok tht is seriously far fetched) but... Who knows rite? The person who started Mc Donalds sure didnt know Mc D was gonna b famous. Neither did facebook or genting. Haha!! Neither did Microsoft and some others that actually pulled through.

Hm.. As much as I can this or post this out to tell others.. I wonder bout myself.. Why daren't I try it?

A question which sometimes I post to myself,

"Am I really unafraid of being who I am?"

I guess a gud title for that website if I ever do make it will go something like "Being Myself". Something like it~ I suck at creative names =P.

There we go~ Time for slp =).

Nite~

ReiRei (The Innocent Lamb - Its just my name in hebrew =)

A Good Book

2011-07-28T20:45:00.003+08:00

A book that never fails to interest me~ You not only can learn from it, you can experience real joy, sadness, satisfaction and sometimes humour from it. Seriously!! No joke!!

Its called.. "A Chapter of a Person's Life Experience"~ Serious~ I'm not kidding. Each and everytime you wanna read a new story book, there is always a possibility of let down, unsure if its boring or whether it really is what you think it is. But imagine, a chapter in that person's life. Not asking for a life of grandmothers story, but a certain chapter which impacted them. An experience which made them confused and will make u think "thats out of the world"~

Plus~ What could be better than hearing a person tell u the story instead of reading out of a book. I'm not saying "lets say good-bye to book" but more of "welcome in this new story book into your life". A story of a person's life where who knows? Might be something you need? OR might be something which you can learn from? Or just something which makes you respect and love/cherish yourself more. We never know.

Another thing which you gain just from hearing it, you get a closer friend ;). Communication is somehw always the key of starting or strengthening a bond.

I got a treat from Sue Lee today and was astounded to hear how a friend of hers got turned down by many girls and just when he was about to give up, his hairdresser ask him to meet this girl. And guess wat? After a couple of months, they started to become a couple. And I heard, at the end of THIS year they are getting married!! How awesome is that? There was more to the story but this is the SUPER summary ;). I learnt more bout Aussie culture too, and it really is different from wat i imagined @@. Oh well~ I still love times of sharings ^^.

Rei~

I NEED TO DO SOMETHING!!!

2011-07-27T18:23:00.011+08:00

Cant believe I am actually missing the being too busy till I have no time for relax or till I must actually do my hobby reading while in the car or before I sleep. All this happening during my secondary times.

I mean, if I wasnt doing tuition then I would be joining 5 clubs and societies. I mean literally joining them in doing something n not just sitting there do nothing or plain name-sake. I remembered before I went to a sch which limited students to one society a week, MGS actually allowed us to join as many as we want with a minimum of 3 a week. As long as it doesnt clash with any core societies/sports then its fine. Goodness.. I still cant believe I joined the band, taekwondo (halfway oni for this), choir, Christian Fellowship, cheerleading (oso halfway except for hse colour), prefect, table tennis, chess.. cant remember wat else.. Not stopping there, I cant believe I still had time to read finish 3-5 story books a week! Seriously what was I thinking??? How did I even have time to go to the library?? Oh rite, skipping lunch a few times.. Seriously???

To top that up, I still cant bliev I had church and church activities which required me 2 and a half days. Sometimes even 3 days in a week. Then somemore tuition 4 days at least in a week @@. How did I finish all those homework ar.. Is it because it involves no research and it was already sorta spoonfed till the homework were actually just practices?

Even after leaving the sch and going to the sch which oni allowed like wat.. one society a week.. I still cant believe I went and skip class quite a few times just to do events! Didnt turn out spectacular but was still not in class. Ok maybe that wasnt a gud one. But classes ended mostly at.. 4pm i think. Except fridays. Then I had tuition 3 times a week!! Nearing exams it increases. And I would stay up late till 3am every nw n then just to finish my work. Huh.. What was I thinking?? Was it because I didnt nid to wry bout my transportation and food on my table? Not like now whr I have to prep everything myself? Is that it??

So what is my resolute? As much as I suck at dancing.. I kinda of reeeeeli.. so baaaaadly wanna join a dance class. Not sure why but yea.. And part of me was wondering is it because right now I am thinking I am too free? But I was also thinking of the times I come home in the evening and do home work till late nite.. If I divide my work probably can rite? Would be too busying myself be a bad thing??

Cause I dun just wanna dance, I oso wanna join the outdoor sports, table tennis friendly matches, maybe swimming, then just plain working out and sweating some. Voluntary work wat eva~ I just wanna sweat or do some work that would make me move my lazy ass. Lol!! Got a feeling I probably complain in the middle like i usually do but looking back how much I enjoyed.. I cant deny THAT~

I starting to feel silly cause its been dunno how many years a leaflet talks bout dancing and I will just stand thr and stare at the poster for quite awhile before moving. I mean, what is thr to c?? Time date venue.. Sigh.. Or is it just the thought that people say how if we dun train young, we be like a person dancing with 2 left feet or with a back made of plank? Embarrassment? Why wouldnt thr b? But I still wanna join.. Should I? Or should I just start of with table tennis?

Hm.. So many things I wanna do n try.. Yet oni 1 year and a half left till I graduate.. RACHEL WAT HAVE U BEEN DOING>>>?????????????

Rei

Teachers Day = Lecturers Day??

2011-07-27T18:17:00.002+08:00

Not sure why I only just realized?? How come Taylors University celebrate Teachers/Lecturers Day and RMIT don't?? Thats just sad =(. Not sure how I even thought about this but it just randomly pop into my head.

Hm.. Ponder ponder.. Should I do a small gift for all my current lecturers as a appreciation gift? Hm.. I mean, I'm not sure how things are run here but I think I just feel like I wanna be thankful for these people who teach us.

I mean, if it wasnt for them or my teachers in the past, I probably wouldnt have learnt any non-fictional or science-fictional things XD. I would probably just learn english.

Well, will update u lil' bloggie if I do decide to do tht =). Not even sure how I should do it.

ReiRei

Already Sem 2??

2011-07-25T20:18:00.003+08:00

Huh.. What have I been doing this whole year? Its sem 2!! Not sure why just these past few days I felt unfulfilled. Like empty yet unsure why. This blog has become a tiny journal that fills every now and then with just plain thoughts.

I wonder, is it because of the empty home? Is it the feeling of loneliness where the eyes can oni see physically?

I realize its just soo easy to turn a blind eye and be ignorant bout things. Ignoring the feeling that I do feel lonely by busying myself/just watching movies after movies.
Ignoring the fact that I feel so passive, where I wanna live back the days of doing some crazy sports, table tennis or hiking or travelling.. Or even just walk around the mall for no reason~ I miss those times..

I wanna think I am suffocating or something. But I probably be lying as I am just being a spoilt girl who wants her candy. So many many things comes to mind now that I am not accompanied by anyone 24/7.

I can start thinking a lot of things of the future. I can put myself in different situation and then ask myself, can I bear it? Am I ready for it? Majority of the answer?..

I most of the time just break down and cry then calm myself by talking to God. After that going on busying myself. What am I doing seriously???????

Results.. I really do want to achieve awesomely~ Who doesnt? Sigh.. But part just wanna break free and scream. To just enjoy myself and do what I want. But then I HAVE.. just HAVE TO go and think about whether I will be able to cope with assignments. Then I have to go and think whether I am ready for exams and FINAL exam. FINALS IS 13 WEEKS!!! I seriously overthink!! A lot of ppl nw seem quite distant.. Some bcoz I push them away.. Which I know is my fault..

Not sure how, but it was just a sudden thought when I was walking to uni. I was thinking whether the 15 years old and 17 years old me would have believe where I am now. Sometimes I think the younger me was probably stronger than the current me. Haha!! To think even at times when I'm just lying on the bed is that the time whr I was strongest was when I was oni 10 or younger.. Weird??

Enough lar fr nw.. Gonna slp~ Nite my faithful bloggie =)

Rei

Freedom yet Reflection

2011-07-07T00:19:00.002+08:00

This freedom a lot people told me bout when u leave the nest, where you dun nid to worry bout finance yet able to roam free anywhr and anytime without eyes following you. Some parts of me wonder if it is really such a big thing. In my eyes, it feels exactly like when i'm at home. Just that when I return, I am greeted with a black silent room instead of a brightened and noise filled house.

I am grateful partly that some part of me understand that it is a maturity process. Or like some part of the bible says, a walk in the desert, a time of solitude/testing. Few things I learnt in these 4 months, endurance, self-less, bonds and probably some other things which cant come to mind now.

Dont feel like rambling a lot now but in all these things, some things which someone once told me blood is really thicker than water. No matter how much I wanted to believe sometimes that is equal, whrby no matter wat, friends will alwyz be friends n not some touch and go (sry for stealing tht ky =P)... It still pains i guess to see everytime someone change and making it look like its for gud, no more anything that existed between us, whether fren or buddies or wateva. And when i c the journey that i have gone thru just slowly fades with some ppl.. haha~ its just sad!! The oni ones that do remain are a handful of buddies/friends and my whole family!! So then why do we sometimes bother stretching wat is already so thin? Why bother create/strengthen new friendships? Hm..

Last thing i do wonder, do evil and negative grow as he/she grows older? Cause the more i wonder about it, the more i'm quite sure XD. Where do negative feelings come frm? Mostly pain and agony and torture no? However to suffer, I'm pretty/quite sure its totally different.

Its just tots~

Rei =)

Revengeful Spirit

2011-03-09T09:13:00.000+08:00

I’m not saying I don’t have it. If you were always being treated harshly or hurt before, most of the time you either get depressed or you get revengeful. I guess its normal. Not everyone can be like Cinderella, just patient and obedient and always cheerful. Or having a fairy godmother who would turn all your downs to ups.

Yes, it is freaking hard to just sit there, keep quiet, absorbing all the hurts as it aims at your heart, after awhile you probably burst. I used to just absorb it until I cant remember when, I just explode. Haha! Then slowly slowly I kinda got impatient. Sometimes can be a bit demanding. I mean, correct me if I’m wrong but.. sometimes it feels good just ranting out your anger and frustration doesn’t it? Like a kettle, you gotta let the steam come out or its gonna blow the kettle and all water will come bursting out.

At the same time, harbouring all that bitterness is not good either. Somehow you will feel very heavy shoulders. I just stating this cause I go through it. There are at times when someone annoys me SOO FREAKING much that when the person say a word to me only, I get very riled up(like a cat’s fur standing on one end XD). Its like auto an ice wall comes around my heart. Aihzz.. Its nt gud lar k? It spoils friendships. I just know hw it feels like. The person says hi n ur blank and u just say whatever comes to mind before thinking thru. Thn u dun care coz in the first place ur already angry wif the person so nt giving a second glance would b like the person never talk to you in the beginning.

So yes, if you’re asking me hw to deal with it? I’m just TRYING to answer as essay-bookly as possible now. Saying just forgive the person and get over it is nt that easy cause I know it takes time. One of my worst cases took me like almost 2 years before I could talk normally to the person again. But if you can I do encourage. However while you can’t, I’m still looking for the formula. Thts all for now~ Tata~

Loves
Rei Rei +

End of 1st week Sem 3 Part 2

2011-03-06T15:37:00.002+08:00

Please do not be mistaken that I do not appreciate what my parents has done. It is truly a blessing that I am able to do things and travel when I know many can’t. I’m probably really greedy =P.. I love my parents seriously I do. At the same time, I guess God has been so part of my life that I just want to continue journeying with Him and seeing His works. I don’t want to just be a usual normal girl only studying, then graduating then going on masters and graduating then working her whole life through. That’s what everyone is doing. Reading bout God’s work, being part of His plans.. It seems different.. Though I cannot see God or hear God, I just think that God must be really lonely and sad if His love ones don’t pay attention or realize He is there with us all the time.

When we study, where does our focus go? Our books right? When our assignments come, where is our focus mostly? On our projects right? As you eat, b4 you slp, as you walk to uni n etc.. You think how to solve it, you plan when is your next free break to work on it, our focus is mostly on assignments.

I’m like blindly typing whatever that comes to mind now. Putting myself in God’s position.. Where thinking what must it be like to love someone so badly and not be loved back? Or putting so much care and effort creating something so fearfully and wonderfully only to have it taken away.

Calming down.. I dunno why or how I suddenly got so emotional. Just saying things that I feel.. But seriously.. How does God do it? We can say we love someone so much, but how long do we love that person after he/she brutally hurt us, use us, ignore us, forget us and etc. I bet after awhile most of us prob just give up right? Especially after that person found another partner. You could say cause God does not have a female to love or another god or something, I dunno. Aihz.. Its truly mystifying why God would create man and woman to love each other yet wanting each gender to love Him. Yet He probably only have angels to talk to and.. I dunno. Mind boggling. Cant imagine what heaven is like. Haha!!

Cheerio~
ReiRei

End of 1st week Sem 3 Part 1

2011-03-06T15:05:00.000+08:00

Its been 3 weeks(?) since I have been in Melbourne cbd. Days come and go. With each passing day I do the usual things; attend classes, cook, clean, eat, shower, sleep, find church, find cell, find cf.. Yet, somehow as I came out of another church I just attended.. Some part of me is asking, what am I doing in Melbourne. True, I wanted to attend a different major, I wanted an experience outside of Malaysia but.. I feel so.. bland? I’m not sure what I feel is correct, I’m still asking God, was studies all I came here for?

True studies is important, I’m not saying its not. But.. maybe its because its only been a weeks or 2 since my parents left(aka homesick).. but I just feel like a.. ghost wandering through this ghost city. Haha!! I really dunno how to put this. Exciting life.. it somehow doesn’t feel very exciting.

Am I expecting too much? Am I dried up or low on fire just cause I’ve been attending different churches? Lord, is my focus being fuzzed up?

How do we balance being so on fire for God, wanting to do His works, yet balancing and maintaining our assignments, studies and grades? How do we divide our time to growing deep in His Word while at the same time working hard on subjects we’re really bad at?

Discipline? Time management? Are those enough? Effort and faith.. I somehow most of the time hang onto these before I entered university. Through it I have really experienced moving with God but my grades, well.. They weren’t perfect. Just average. Being in uni feels like I cannot just have average.. It must be more. But at the same time, I really really wanna serve God, study and read more on what God speaks, what God has done.

Others can do it. Does it really truly mean that everyone can? Do everyone really have the capability of achieving what their seniors have achieved?

What do you do if a child comes to you hungry? Do you feed him/her flour instead of bread? Or crumbs instead of a biscuit?

What am I seeking for? What should I be seeking for? What is truly the reason that I came to Melbourne? Is it really just to study? To experience the different cultures and environment not “available” in Malaysia?

Cheers
ReiRei

Looking From the Dark Side of ME

2011-02-12T19:02:00.000+08:00

I do keep “posts” of when I’m angry sometimes. Just sometimes, I realize earlier, that when ur angry, you can say unintentional things. And really, I just had an urge to read my posts of when I’m angry. N it kinda scares me. Haha!! Yes, my self scares me XD. But its true!

How do I put it.. I felt so much anger!! So much hatred, so.. very blind.. Its like, literally like darkness just consuming me and letting it flow through me doing what I feel was right just to feel good in releasing it.

Not only that.. I kinda felt pain coming from it? Its like reminding me how hurt I felt when I typed that post. Dwelling on something bad just makes the person more revengeful and “savage”. Its really not a nice feeling. When ur happy, compared to when ur upset.. Which do you feel lighter?

Thanks to the memories I spent with kiwi (sister nickname a person this XD), everytime I think of kiwi.. I feel sad yet calm. I’m sure God has His reasons. But the feeling of calmness.. Has helped me n my parents a LOT these 3 days XD. Seriously.. I’m like trying to keep everything light and happy whenever dad gets impatient cause he’s worried and when mom is trying to help as much as possible =P. I realize I’m so like my mom during this time of “bonding” with my family.

Oolala~ parents bought me an hr of internet. Hehe!! Well.. Another thing I lastly wanna add. When ur happy and seeing the positive side of things even when things are bad.. Good things /rewards comes next =). Not immediately but.. It will come. If its not true.. Then I guess, God really blesses =P. Hehe!! K lar. Ish ish~ Dad askin if I typing thesis. So mean hor =P. Till city hours ;).

Love loves~

Hello From Australia =D

2011-02-12T19:01:00.000+08:00

HI BLOGGIE!!! Finally in Melbourne!! Y so late?? Coz went sightseeing outside City XD. Went somewhr like mornington and peninsula. Interesting??? Btw, THIS DOES NOT FEEL LiKe SuMMER!! Its llike autumn ppl!!! Its freaking cold out here!! Well.. Super windy actually. While typing this, I’m actually not in Melbourne, waiting to go there then post this up.

Aihz.. Somehow I keep finding hard to sleep. Keep waking and slping.. So annoying.. One thing ler.. I realize y ppl like staying in Australia.. Or well outside of Melbourne. Here is like easy going, relax, country yet city like, thr are also a lot of senior citizens too XD. But seriously.. going scenic viewing, berry picking (I finally got my Strawberry!! XD), seeing ranches, black cows, white with brown patches cows, horses, meadows, high hills n etc.. Its really lovely n sweet if any guy wanna bring their gf here for holidays (=P hints for my future bf or husband XD). But honestly.. It really REALLY is very costly just trying to live here.

Another thing I realize here, there r no road bumps XD. Either tht so rare cause I didn’t feel them I think @@.

LENNA!!! I just remembered. I didn’t dare sleeveless and shorts out wei!! Super cold out here. Hopefully the city is MUCH warmer @@.

K enough talk.. Oh wait!! One last thing. Guess what was my first experience/encounter when I reached an apartment we were staying in? Our hair dryer “poofed”. Haha!! Dad got so scared to charge his laptop n phone after tht. Poofed meaning it got burnt, it “exploded”, it keep giving off this toxic smell.. Yea.. Not only tht. Unfortunately for dad, he spent $10 (not rm ppl), just on 2 hrs internet. After 1 hr 30min, he gave up figuring hw to use it =P. So yea, use tht last 30min the next day to reply SOME PPL’S emails =P. plus plus search for churches tomoro.

I cant believ I woke at… melb timing… 430am today. N I couldn’t slp!!! So kinda sms kawsi to bring calc. Forgotten mine @@... She must b wonderin y she receive sms at 2am plus =P. Hehe!!
Well, tomoro will b seeing ke ying I hope… hopefully wont b like charlotte.. thr yet cannot b seen @@..

K lar.. dad asking me y I offline yet so many things to type XD. Time to off. Hehe!! Good evening from aussie peeps ;). Ppl here r friendly..

P.s
After chatting with parents, asian guys r still more preferably my type =P. Hidden reasons behind ;)
Lub~

A New Chapter n A New Dog

2011-02-10T02:11:00.004+08:00

The day has finally come. The time to say "bye bye Malaysia~"!! Will miss all my pillows, blankets, toys, books n the awesome foods.. Sob~ Oh of coz my friends n family! Hehe =P!! I cant believe it.. The day tht I've indirectly been expecting. The day where I have to live half-independently.. Bcoz I'm still living off my parent's money but.. Hey.. Time management, cleaning, self independency.. its all up to me now. Not sure whether I look forward to it but.. Its exciting ^^!!

This holiday.. Can say I rush to do many many things. Prob met up with few contacts, new n old, rarely chat with or havent seen in veli veli the long time. But still..

Anyway, I have nothing much to say. I'll be back every now and then =). The first few times probably short period i'm away, slowly it'll grow longer.. aihz.. i dunno wat to say ler!! Basically part of me wanna go yet dun wanna go. Ish ish~

Really grateful I can bring a toy along with me =P. I know i reachin 20 d but.. I'm alone in my room T.T!!! Lemme have someone or something tht can keep me company lar!! Here we go~ A new dog to my pack of dog collection ;)

"nice to meet you!"

"I'm THE powerful chihuahua!! Bow to me!!"

"Aren't I adorably sweet and cute? Love me~"

Erm.. Its kinda badly edited, the background, but it was all done in rush. I'm just basically passing time now. Will edit it properly next time ;p.

Hm.. looks kinda proud hm? but the sweater soooo suits the 4 season ^^. Hehe! I have a chihuahua to be with me in aussie ^^. A proud, adorable,sweet,.. somehow it looks smart too.. fine. smart looking chihuahua XD!! Hehe!!

Love~ Lub~

Journeying from Corinthians to Ecclesiastes

2011-02-02T00:36:00.002+08:00

I have been reading Corinthians quite often over and over again. Even though I have not read finish the other books but somehow, just feels like I can learn a lot from Corinthians. Each time getting different views.

But as I was about to finish my last two chapters.. I just felt an urge to go to Ecclesiastes 3, A Time For Everything.. N I just couldn't stop reading. I journeyed on to chapter 4 then to 5. Its like.. It somehow links.. Then a question came to me, could the poor be happy? Media always shows that without money, we would never survive, we would suffer like crazy, we would always be unhappy.. Then again.. Being totally rich.. Does it give as much happiness?? Why is happiness being put with a person's finance?

Another strange thought which ponder on my mind.. Why would I suddenly read the old testament? To be honest, I read many of the new Testament books a couple of times.. Rarely touching the old testament except psalm =P. Just a feeling?

Everybody starts off with nothing. Some are just more fortunate to be able to have a bonus start, which is their parents' money. Even then, their parents had to either start from nothing or had a starting bonus. It goes on and on..

It kinda scares me whenever I think to myself, once I graduate, I have to learn to earn a living myself.. No more can I always turn to my parents.. Would I succeed? Would I fail? Am I ready? Would I be able to be as successful as them or more? All these questions..

Yet.. God asks us to trust Him.. Seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all will be added unto you.. This what confuses me.. Trusting to someone I cannot see or touch.. Its so confusing!! Yet at times I must make a decision!!

Own personal thoughts:
You feel tht way is so right!! Yet the path seems like a huge mountain you have to climb to get to the other side!! On the other hand, you see another way.. A tunnel which goes through the mountain, which seems much much MUCH easier but it feels.. not so safe.. Which would you rather risk?

I'm not saying its impossible. Maybe its because I done it so many times? I know the peaceful feeling when u agree to do your best and submit to Him your future. But I have to agree that there are times too, when I still feel uneasiness..

God wouldn't put you thru something you cannot take. Thats all I have to say =)..

Nitez~ Loves~

Time Flies

2011-01-30T14:41:00.002+08:00

Somehow yesterday got me reflecting as I was watching NSt do their usual service. Somehow I just can't believe that it has been already.. close to 8 years? Wow~ Its gone that fast.. I remember the first time I joined NSt, got lost in Kidzone then so crazy passionate in serving here and there.. 8 years.. A whole different generation is rising up before my eyes. Its like.. I didnt realize it till I took a step back and just view without being involve. I mean, yes.. I have led the 13.. now 14 year old girls with girls one year younger than me but.. Maybe its the connection with them. Being able to communicate with these girls..

I remember the time where I didn't need to worry or be responsible for other ppl's lives in church. Where events and activities were always planned for me. Now its like, I'm planning for them.

Hey! Its not just me!! When I talked sometimes with Elena and Lenna bout this the other day.. Except we were talkin bout how much we could eat last time.. But hearing that we are going to hit 20?.. Its like.. Wow.. Its really that fast!...

I wonder have any adults in their late twenties or thirties, tried doing stuff they did when they were in high school.. hm.. Maybe they do but rarely =P. Well, now to stop here.

Soon me leaving home will be an arm away. Better start checkin everything =). Will really miss the memories I've had here. Secretly or not so secretly XD. But all were definitely worth while because it made me who I am ^^.

Loves~

Pack Pack Pack

2011-01-28T15:45:00.003+08:00

Packing packing.. Taking a short break from packing my clothes.. As I was packing I suddenly thought of something.. How big is my cupboard for clothes ar? Haha!! Pack pack pack.. Later cannot fit all @@.. Somemore got different seasons.. Hieee!!! How how how!! Or should I pack for 2-3 weeks, then live on those since I WILL be washing the clothes anyway..

Hm.. Bet many of you will be thinking, will this girl be ok doing chores on her own?? Answer is YES!! I will somehow manage XD. Or Ke Ying will hear all my blabbers =P. Hehe!!

Oh oh~!! I just remember!! Shoes!! Aiya!! Didnt make space for those @@.... Rawr.. Leaving home is so not an easy task.. Prep oso susah @@.. Well!! Gotta head back. Later COUZ ada COUZ Nite! Me need prep cny clothes somemore.. Or maybe I shall just wear a red-T.. Keep hearing everyone saying lets wear red-T.. Lala~ Till next time~

Loves~!!

Movies and Shopping~

2011-01-27T23:50:00.003+08:00

Lalala~ Past few days me got driver to drive me around~ So nice XD!!! Haha!! Go buy clothes, see shoes, buy toiletries and watch movie.. etc etc etc.. oh and help me carry bags XD!! First time I dun need carry bags =P.

Oh oh~ Went to watch few movies every now and then~ Erm erm..

Meet the parents was not bad. Quite funny. I havent watch the first one though but it was not bad ;). I bet many guys would really have sweat just having this kind of daddy-in law =P. Hm.. I wonder if my dad is just as strict ^^.

Faster was okay I guess~ Cant really remember much of the show but can feel a lot of revenge, pain and etc. What is blech is the part where he must shoot everyone in the skull/forehead -.-"..

This movie was sweet =). It does talk a bit bout cny, how families should be united as one on this day. I mean, quite true.. How many times do you get to see ALL your relatives at once? Kinda saw 1Malaysia in it too XD. This indian guy speaking chinese.. Coolz ^^!! Its of course quite hilarious =).

Watched this movie today.. Or yesterday. Kinda sad story though.. All bout war and greed.. But its quite true I guess.. Sometimes we humans can never be satisfied with what we have. We'll complain or want more. And when we have a lot, we suspect everyone around us, even those that love us. Tears me up the most is at the end.. One man's greed is the cost of thousands / millions of people's blood. Not to mention the broken hearts and weeping and mourning of families. Tsk tsk.. War.. Yet everyone still love their family. Strange isn't it?

Well.. Like this oso can make long post ^^. Till here~ Counting down~ Few weeks to new environment =). Will miss~

Loves~

Sisters Friends Day?

2011-01-23T23:57:00.003+08:00

Today whole day laugh laugh laugh, laugh laugh laugh.. Aiyoyo~ Haha!! Well, my kind friend volunteered to drive my siblings and I for my brother's swimming classes and etc. Came home, we all had dinner then laugh laugh laugh again till parents came home. Not enough, after parents came home and went upstairs, they all (k lar include myself) continue laugh laugh laugh till like wat.. 1130pm plus?? Goodness... Tsk tsk tsk~ I think I got tummy ache or sides ache from laughin so much.

I'm really happy with today. Full of fun and laughter, jokes and teasings.. Just sad that someone still somehow had to show me she was still upset with me? I mean.. Come on ler.. Saying stuff over one small thing, and making a big fuss out of it as if I done a huge mistake.. Then giving me tht tone.. U sure u not treating me like a project ar? U sure u not being biased? U already showed some parts who you wished was born first anyway.

I'll stop here.. No point in getting upset. U wanna think like tht go ahead lar. 2 more weeks. I'm tired of always trying to make things better and getting sad or put down. I'll leave you and go with the flow k? U wanna talk, I'm here to talk. U wanna say anything, i'll just listen.

Guai lar~ Time to turn out. I definitely need a shower =P.

Nite!! / Morning!!!

Love ^^

Play Play

2011-01-19T15:24:00.003+08:00

I realized I have a mini member by the name of Leanne who has been dropping my blog secretly =P. Hehe!! After going thru the stats, didnt realize it exists.. Yay!!! After being bored with my blog. I giv it new make over again. Yesh, I'm quite bored and frustrated. Was going thru my childhood, high sch, primary sch, college n uni pictures.. Ish ish!! So many memories here in my homeland. Ahh well, I'm watching the hour and day that I will leave draw near. From what seems to be only 2 months have now turned to 2 weeks. Time sure flies.. Will miss many ppl here.

I'm wondering.. I wanna privatize my blog. Yet ibu bapa ku later cannot access.. Or inconvenient them to access.. Its oni normal parents wanna see their children's blog rite? Ish ish~ Though putting pictures and etc on the web is gud coz u can access them anytime and not worry bout it being deleted. Yet bad part is SOME ppl dunno how to respect ppl's privacy and goes off being childish and destroyin ppl's lives. How ler?

Its no longer safe, everything is not safe. Everyone is not safe. Where u go, each day is 50-50 tht u will be alive the next day. What to do what to do~

End here ba ^^

Luv luv ^^

Disney Princess

2011-01-19T12:58:00.004+08:00

No I am not talkin bout which Disney Princess I like. Haha!! But sometimes reality is a bit like those stories. Or at least my dramatic life can get.. Wonder how some pp say they envy it..

Nvm! Lets see, I had a period/few days which was like.. a fantasy? Where life was as normal n routined. Then tiba-tiba, you get what u want for a period of time. Then knowing its too gud to be real, u r told to wake up. And though u remember the dream of it, u are required to act normal as if it didnt happen and continue ur life b4 it all started.

Somehow what kept coming to mind is Cinderella at 12o'clock.

Now seeing the topic and rereading what i've written.. Lol..Sounds a bit childish. Haha!! N let me clarify, I'm not thinking myself as a princess thank u. Haha!! I'm just tryin to say how many of our lives could probably be like it. Just that, it not vry sparkly or dazzling or pointy crowny like. Haha!!

Or better yet, another disney cartoon came to mind. Alice in Wonderland. Its all just a dream ^^.

Over and out~

Love

Going Casual - My Style

2011-01-15T17:55:00.003+08:00

What to do if you have too many hand-me-down clothes? Or if ur out shopping for clothes and am not sure what to buy? Or if you just graduated from high school and am entering college/university and are not sure what to wear?

I'm not saying that I'm like a specialist or professional. Ask any of my friends, they will tell u the same. But I somehow, instead of reading magz, I prefer observing ppl what they dress.

*NOTE: THIS IS MOSTLY/ONLY FOR GIRLS*

So lets start! Another thing I must add, this is all just MY point of view. U are not forced or required to follow.

1. The Basics - Tshirt & Jeans/Shorts
One of my favourites. True, its not stylish or feminine or whatever u may say. But it is convenient to do most of the things u like if situation calls for it.

For example of myself, I enjoy playing sports which require u sometimes to run a bit. My uni can also be quite windy so wearing jeans eases my mind, that I do not need worrying bout showing unnecessaries.

2. Long Tshirts, Jeans & Belt/Jacket
I started off wearing jackets first b4 using belts. Waist belts can sometimes be hard for myself, to find (I can be quite picky), to match and etc. Above waist belts are slightly easier just be careful of the material as some materials do not match the clothes. A hooded black/jeans jacket or any other colour which is up to ur waist or shorter is good for most long tshirts.

3. Tube/Spaghetti Straps/Halters + Jackets/Shirts
I am not saying u cant wear just Tube/Spaghetti Straps/Halters. U can but its just that ppl who are sensitive to cold like me.. Wearing a Shirt over can at least ensure ur warm and not too hot wherever u go. Plus, u still look nice though some ppl of this generation might say ur over wearing. Ignore, u still look nice ^^.

4. Tube/Spaghetti Straps/Halters + LONG Shirts
Adding on to the above, something which I learnt for my cousin. Which can be casual and yet semi-formal. For this attire, it is optional to use an above waist belt. But I like to use it coz my shirt wont be flying/flapping everywhr then. I mostly like to get them black, brown or white. Other colours are fine but lets just say ur in a rush. Having any of these 3 colours can really really help, without worrying how badly u look. Haha!!

If ur up for shopping, there are those long "thin coats"/long cardigans which can also pull off a simple casual look. U dun even nid belts for those too. Hm.. In my opinion, gives a girl a soft/demure look. I've seen a friend of mine wearing it.

5. Turtle-neck Sleeveless Tshirts
I realize they can be very very flexible. I'm not joking!! Its those collars that are up to your neck that can go with almost any belt(waist or higher), jackets, shirts, cardigan (long or short) or without any of those at all.

I think some of u can get the idea rite?

Here is a summary. To me, dressing simple really makes life simple. If ur thinking of dressing up everyday.. Good luck with that. Reason is, once u keep the trend of always dressing up, u will be thinking how shall I dress up next time. Also, u probably get tired of ur clothes faster than the times u actually go out to shop.

Another reason? Ppl will kinda start noticing how u wear, and naturally, u would just wanna make urself look better and better right? Who enjoys degrading the way they dress? a good example, look at today's fashion, come on.. Cant think of any so lets go with a meat dress? Dress to impress, a very huge pressure isnt it?

I FEEL PLAIN!!
Keep it simple, though u say it looks plain, just accessorize a lil'. Wear earrings or rings or bracelets or necklace or eyeliner or scarf or belt. They can make plain outfits or urself look different. Hey! Idea is to look good, feel good and not worry bout how shall u dress tomoro.

WHAT I SAY FOR BOTTOMS
Jeans is very helpful. I'm trying to learn to wear shorts to malls or outings =P. Homes and visitings are ok. But to malls.. I feel kinda bare. Haha!!

Dresses are nice, so are skirts. Just make sure u wont be running or doing anything extreme. Showing inner clothing is not really sexy, is more like *uh-hum*.. N btw, thr are ppl who are smiling not coz they just think ur "cute", but some r kinda joking.. bout.. it. Hey! Just speaking the truth of what I've seen and heard.

So yes, just remember. Guys have pride and dignity. So do girls!!

Oh!! I still do wear dresses and skirts and once in a blue moon dress up extra. Wearing tubes and etc without a jacket or cover, i'm not sayin is NO-NO. Just be sure of who you hang out with and what is the reason u wanna wear such outfits. N please be careful to not show too much cleavage..

As a girl, who does NOT want to look good. Please -.-.... I know ppl who say they dislike dressing up and do not care bout looking gud, so they dress as guys. T-shirts and jeans.. But hey! U still kinda care whether the colour suits right? U still care if the size/cut is right and if the picture on the front and back looks gud. Its OKAYY/NORMALLL!!!

My point? If ur a girl, its normal to want to dress up and look nice. But dressing simple is ALSO nice.

Tip: Be confident of yourself. It shows and not only that, u most of the time u pull off what ur wearing. Look at models, ever see any of them hide? They show confidence. Look at ur role models whom u look up to.. Why like them? Cause their confidence shows right? Be confident =)!! Its part of YOUR accessory =P!! N btw, EVERYONE has it and its FREE!! FOC!!! U just gotta learn to like urself for who u r and how u look like.

❤❤❤

Missing 2010

2011-01-15T00:33:00.003+08:00

Was going thru some of the pictures in friends and own albums. Really smiled and laughed at all the funny and nice pictures we all had taken b4.. Some without noticing.. Haha!! But yea.. Time flies, some friends oso fly, some friendships oso fly somewhr, most relationships oso say hi and goodbye.. I guess every year some of these things are bound to happen in someone's life.

I even went thru some of the pictures which r like not uni.. Surprising how much changes its been for just not keeping in touch for few months or years.. True, assignments and group works can sometimes makes ppl drift apart. But for me, anytime u wanna yam cha or anything.. Lets go out ^^!! Probably thr will be SOME time difference or inconvenience whr the first few plans dun work out. Hang in thr =)!!

Doesn't mean forever is not possible. Everytime i see others giv up, or everyone on the other side of my line.. Knowing i cant force, of coz I'll just hav to let u go. But if ur willing to work it, after 2 weeks of continuously postponing dates, i'm sure things will somehow work out =).

Well, thts all for now. If i can freshen up after a shower (just came home). I'll post something else ;). Cya~

Here are some pictures tht they half took without me catching. Except the first one (realize after they took and laughed). At least all got diff expression =P.

cant believ they said i look like rabbit

chillax-ing while discussion

at Old Town I think, doing SEF = serious-ness

❤

60/100

2011-01-14T00:57:00.006+08:00

该这么解决如果一位超过60%呢? 脑好乱啊!!虽然不是超好看的人(对不起啊 =P)，或
者很有钱的人，或者满足第一的要求。。那么我的爸爸在天堂，您可不可以不要玩
我啊? 您给我认识好多满足得到30-50%还OK呢。。请别给我一位差不多80%的但不满
足第一的要求吧。。我很真的很很很很爱您。但是我也不要放我们的关系做测验!!虽
然圣经没有阻拦，我还是一半怕关于我们的关系呢。。我觉得(差不多)痛苦呢。。
爸爸在天堂。。不懂是不是您或那条蛇。。但我真不懂为什么要放我在将的情况呢。。
我该要去澳洲了，能放过我这心伤吗?

你们可能在想，这女人，她爸爸在天堂给她想要的，她干吗在喊叫啊?!啊!!!!!你问
我，我也答不回你啦!!总之是。。。是。。。我也不懂啊！！其实呢。。我也不明
白为什么我那么的紧张呢。。哈哈。。虽然不肯定自己的心，另外的心也不懂呢。。
还是别想太多吧。。乱这自己多困难。。

Lol~ Chinese essay... So long since i done this. Still quite fun though =P. Nite now!!

❤❤

What To Do When Too Many Things In Mind?

2011-01-14T00:43:00.002+08:00

What to do ler? Blog lor! Especially while showering or just layin in bed ar.. Dunno why can think so many things. When sit down in front of computer, nothing comes to mind @@... Not gud not gud. But I do remember one min i can think from relationships to clothes to future partner to food... Lol? U ask me how i think i dunno how to explain. Like tht lor~ So yea~ Expect few nonsense or just plain thoughts from me ^^. I decided to not do the 3 post thing... Coz might be too sensitive too some ppl i think. Forgive me if sometimes i type then type things which can b a bit insulting. Terlalu emotional at times. Just a heads up warning =D!!

❤

Smiley =)

2011-01-13T23:11:00.003+08:00

I find this really annoying somehow lor.. Its not exactly a bad annoying but its kinda sad lar. Imagine u already have this bunch of ppl to say farewell too coz u wont see them every week or every day anymore. Then along came a new friend or two tht u just met for bout.. few weeks? Then u go chatting and become friends. When u remember u have to say bye n just chat on fb or msn frm then on its like.. Sad?? Sad become more sad?? Haha!! I'm just confuse.

Someone ask me once whats the reason I keep smiling. If not smile then wat? U wan me cry ar? Haha!!

1. I smile coz things are way better than it was before.

2. Smile cause u still have a chance now than maybe not experiencing it anymore in the future.

3. Smile cause I like to c ppl smile back oso lar!! Haha!!

4. Smile cause I'm having fun with who I am with lor~

5. Smile cause I like to see everybody's unique reaction =D.

6. Smile cause it uses less muscles than frowning.

7. Smile cause it may be the last expression u may see of me? (choi choi!)

8. Smile cause I dislike ppl feeling more worried than they r at present times

9. Smile cause I THINK it lessens the sadness and blueness in ppl's lives =P

10. Smile cause...u/I can think clearer without just seeing the negativeness of the situation around us

Smile cause.. I'm happy. Though I can be sad of certain stuff, but I know I'm more blessed and pampered than I deserve =P.

❤❤ReiRei❤❤

Dilly Dally

2011-01-13T22:59:00.004+08:00

After spending hours and killing time few days back, I think I should try using what I learnt in Web class to design my blog. Haha!! Been only using the already fixed codes to do my blog.. N I seem nvr satisfied.. How How?? Here are two random ones I did.

The words at the sides were suppose to be white.. But the blog codes seem to "constant" it already.. if tht changes to white.. The inner posts oso changes to white... Darn...

This was so so~ Coz I couldnt find a right animal.. The animals made the blog look too... Home adverty~

Cheerio~

Loves

Dream & Words of Light

2011-01-08T12:21:00.003+08:00

This may probably sound crazy but how many of you tried waking up laughin? Weird right? Lagi weird was that my mom and aunt was telling me how grown up of a young adult I have become all because I have.... shed eyelashes?? You know how sometimes ur eye lash gets into ur eye or just plain falls coz u scratch ur eye and such? Well in the dream, it shows u have grown up. Strange?

Well this whole week I've mainly been cooking lunch and dinner at home. Quite fun~ Was thinking of maybe putting up recipes in here too =P. What to do~ Everyone's schedule u start realizing is different or either tht they just out of the blue fall sick. Dun blame them, happen to myself b4.

Oh yes, yesterday went to GlowUnited after.. 1year?? Looks like I am meant to stay there after all. Haha!! 2009 I was there for half a year. And in 2010 I went to NEXT Zone. Now 2011, back to Glow but I c many "new" faces. Mostly from my NEXT cell and also my ex-Since1991 cell. One of the most memorable cell I had gone through in my teens =P.

But heres the catch which made me thought of blogging it next time. I'm still considerin whether to split into parts or just put it in one post. One talks about "Carrying a Burden" and another talks about how "Love is the Opposite of Fear". How so? Well stay tuned I guess =D.

Thts all for now.

Cheerio~

Loves

P.s
I know I have recently change my blog layout. But me thinking of changin it into a darker layout. Inspiration always appears at strange timing. Me also thinking of taking out the Haru Haru lyrics as its getting hard to keep track of things.

Outing With Mae Houng

2010-12-29T18:19:00.002+08:00

Whee Whee~~ Me home from outing with Mae Houng!! Suppose to go out with another 2 but they unfortunately cannot make it. Nvm~ All the more girl time for me and Mae Houng ^^.

Went with sis, both of us plan for our own groups to watch movie de... Sadly queue is veli veli the LONGGG!!! So instead we sat, chat, ate, window shop, and many others XD. Fun fun~

We had lunch at Paddington House of Pancake (hehe~ coz I really like pancakes), had this chocolate fondue with ice cream, strawberries, pancakes, bananas and marshmallow!! Yummy~ Forgive me for no pictures!! We not exactly the photo takin kind. Hehe~!! More like the makan and relax type ^^.

After tht we adventure off to buy certain things while at the same time going thru lingerie and clothes shop. Why lingerie?? It just happen to be in Jusco XD!!

Next next we went walking and talking~ Oh and guess the number of ppl I met. Forgive me for some secondary ppl coz I couldnt remember their names thrfore didnt dare call out. Still, i was right beside n u cannot recognize me. LOL!!! Oh oh~ I saw Ps Dan too!!! Then then I saw Kawsi!!! Then then I saw George Cheah!! Erm.. Didnt say hi to george coz I think he was with his brothers and were few metres ahead of us XD. Oh well~

Hm.. Lemme think who else I saw... Saw quite a lot of MGS girls still.. Hm... Anyways, me and Mae Houng went doll hugging around the doll shops too XD. We seemed a bit like psycho ppl but many dolls we agreed were cut were the big BIG eyes dolls and nice to cuddle ^^.

Looking forward to meeting up again if possible =). Thts all for today ^^!!

Loves
Rei Rei

Haraheta

2010-12-29T09:53:00.003+08:00

I AM SOOOOOOOO HUNGRY!!!! Ugh.... Slept then woke up byk kali till 2am then finally cannot slp. Aiyooooo~ Ppl learn from this, if ur hungry JUST GO EAT!! Dun b like me stay in bed n wait till breakfast comes. Ish...

Couldnt slp, cari kawan teman till 5am... Lol... I really am gonna be zombified whole day today. Greattt~ Just now I felt so weak that step out of bed oni dizzy. No I am not on a diet.. I was just VRY VRY hungry. Anyway... Lesson learnt. Time to get ready~

Oh and another thing I learned... Cannot chat with me past 4am... I talk nonsense de @@..

Cya tonite if i gonna blog tonite. Off to c Mae Houng and Daniel (if he is coming)..

Cheerio~
Love
Rei

Tattles

2010-12-28T14:45:00.002+08:00

I realized I forgotten one more "page" of my dream yesterday. Realized it only as I was feeding my Snowball in the evening. It was like this..

My Snowball's favourite tug-of-war game is her lil' puppy doll. Length is about from ur wrist to your elbow (try using a girl's hand to measure if urs too long XD). Well, her favourite spot to bite is the neck or throat. Deadly i noe XD~ So so in the dream i dreamt that I was coming to feed her, started to grab tht doll to play with her and realized that the throat was completely ripped off XD. There was like this "gap" at the throat.. Horrifying? Maybe not so much since its just a doll =P. But in my dream my doggie was so happily eating off her dinner XD.

Yep yep~ I think that was the last of the dream =P. Oh oh~ Guess what my new hobby is instead of starin 24/7 at a computer or watching movies one by one on the computer?? Readin~!!! Yesh yesh~ I am getting my "old" habit back but control k...? I read off... 5 story books thanks to my cousin's boxes of story books. Hohoho~!! I realized how efficient reading a book can be when u wish to pass time =D.

Well well, thats all for now. Sis is behind me watching some anime... Keep hearing "AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!" or "IYAAAAAAA!!!!!" or "Daijoubu" or this scared lil' girl sounds.. Hm.. Haha!! Okie~ Tata for now~

Cheerio~
Luv
Rei

Strange Tiring Dream

2010-12-27T14:39:00.003+08:00

Goodness... Ever felt more tired instead of being refreshed after a good nite slp? Seriously weird.. Last night I kept dreaming of things that could happen in this week or today... Like one, not sure why I dreamt of just that, he changed his fb name worried that my parents will stalk him XD. Even though we agreed he is innocent and nid not worry for anything. My parents just like to c who I hang out with.

Another dream was tht I was working for dad, and he made me send urgent documents around but he took my car. And the all were due tht day. Oh my oh my... Then in another dream not sure what I was doing lar...I think someone rob my car. Haha!! N i just went chasing after it @@. Funny how long I can run coz the distance between me n the car was the same. Haha!!

Oh then I was suddenly back in the office typing typing typing... N i woke up. Guess wat?? Sister was playin maple -.-"...In other words.. typing came from her.. Boy oh boy~

Wanted to get up but too tired and exhausted... Felt like i just ran a miles. XD

Well, will continue more blogging later. Cya~!!

Love
Rei

One Of The Many Small Blessings

2010-12-26T20:24:00.002+08:00

This will be just a short small post. This blog isn't just for ppl to read but its also for myself to reflect back at how much things have past and a lovely journey to remind how much God has actually done in my life.

I know how sometimes..or tht is an understatement...how MANY times, I have actually taken ppl for granted. Like few of my close friends, Kawsalya, Elisha, Andrew, Alex, Jun Jin and so on actually do take time to talk to me. But I RARELY start conversation with them unless I got some confusion. Its sorta my bad habit i guess, haha!! okok.. Not gud thing. I'm just not as used to findin ppl for conversation like tht *snaps*!! I come online, I see more than 50 contacts (some of u i noe have more), n u expect me to just choose like tht... Haha!! I really no idea how ler. I cant talk to 50++ ppl at one go? But but but... Really honestly, deep down my heart, I do do DOOOOO appreciate the small talks sometimes we have. Exchange of a few sentence delights me enough to know tht we still talk.

Another small blessing which i realize i am starting to look forward to.. Even though it comes every 3 months plus OR MORE!! Is Denise Cheong's email. The lil' email where we talk to each other telling of our present happenings but only replying or receiving a reply 3+++ months later XD, when its all over. Haha!! But its amazing seeing or reading back u noe. Really!! Try keeping a friendship only through mail n no face to face contact. Its really tough. But still, i have to say its one of the small things like this we oversee at times which i really do appreciate =).

Thats all~

Luvs <3

If I Had One Chance

2010-12-23T08:29:00.002+08:00

I know I've been posting this almost everywhere but really~ Its one of those times where I get so riled up in God's point of view (I think) that I start thinking and praying till I can't sleep!! @@

After watching MadWorld in SIBKL yesterday, I was wondering more towards what is Christmas about. The busy and well-off ppl bustling about, while the poor and desperate do what they can to continue surviving... And me, along with other teens that do not need to suffer are quite enjoying life or taking it for granted.

Christmas.. What is Christmas really about? If u want me to go answer from the Bible, its definitely the birth of Jesus, that is why we celebrate. Maybe to the younger ones, its about presents and laughter.

What else is Christmas about? Giving? Me giving presents to my siblings always seemed enough, but this year.. Not sure why lar.. I felt it actually isnt enough? I feel like I really wanna give the needy and poor too. I wanna bless them and let them feel the comfort that the Lord has bless me with. Its a crazy idea I suppose.. But still, I somehow feel that to most poor and desperate ppl, feeling a brief moment of comfort is like leisure and infinite joy to them. Its like Hope..

Maybe its what God put upon my heart, or maybe its cause i always see Ps Daniel (aka my Spiritual Papa XD) and his wife so passionate for the teens and young ppl, that I wanna do something for them. I feel almost as much pain as I wanna do something for them, yet no idea how to do it or where to start!! A huge crazy plan but unable to execute, sometimes it feels like a huge successful plan but due to no action is just a air, nthg~ Okayy maybe tht was a bit too negative.

Ish ish~ Haha!! I'm frustrating and confusing my own self. But all in all, from deep within my heart. For love, peace and joy for EVERYONE that is breathing, if I could have a wish or a law that is able to come to pass, it would be to at least have no violence, no suffering and no status on the day of Christmas =).

Because being God's children, which Father would not want to see His children happy and smiley? Not to mention on the day of His Son's birthday. The One and only Son that He sent down to Earth to die for you and me, that we may come back to Him and call Him, Father in Heaven.

So far I've typed enough. Type too much will be a bore to read =P. So I leave you with 2 verses, quite well known and used often but still has lots of love and meaning behind for each of us. Have a blessed day and a blessed Merry Christmas =).

"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life" - John 3:16

"We love because he first loved us." - 1John4:19

Love
Rei

Extra meaningful verses:
"..God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them. This is how love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment: In this world we are like Jesus. There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love." - 1John4:16-18

Makan-ing Out with Primary School Friends

2010-12-23T01:28:00.003+08:00

How often do we get a chance to meet up with our primary school friends? Or how often to u bother meeting up with them? =P According to my parents, our generation is blessed to have facebook to keep in contact XD. Which i do not disagree, i wouldve lost contact with MANY of my primary friends except Amanda (i still remember her hse number after.. 8 yrs? Also i manage to keep in contact with those tht i see in church. And also Oscar whom without fail, always sms me to keep in touch once in awhile. Appreciate it Oscar ^^.

Well, on tuesday... Yea tuesday night. After susah-payah tryin to confirm a date and eatin out with few of them, it kinda failed. Haha!! Leaving me and Amanda to hav our own chit chatty~ We talked a lot, shared a lot, and i cant believ she didnt know i wore specs -.-"... We also rethought back to the time where we first met and she keep reminding me how passive and quiet i was with a book.. Hm.. Surprised that after primary sch i became more... Sociable? Haha!! Instead of waiting for ppl to say hi, i actually said hi first.

Was funny bout what we talked about also, relationships, friends, teachers, schs.. some were the same. haha!! We both surprisingly became involve in few naughty stuff =P. We were vry gud k in primary =P. Haha!! Then shared bout uni life now.. Wow~

Then after seeing my primary friends photos.. U start to think.. Hey, we are no longer kids anymore. The playful boys i noe now r GUYS XD. I still find it a bit weird but yea XD. Some tht me n Amanda thought when we were young were quite normal looking, now grow to be quite.. eh hem.. handsome =P. Haha!! Girls have also grown differently. Not sure why.. But we all keep commenting each other's look. Haha!!

Well, tomoro will be another day i hope~ This time hopefully with more ppl ^^. Will tell u all next time ^^. Nite!!

Love~

Cannot Sleep

2010-12-21T00:35:00.002+08:00

Its been 5 days since I had proper sleep. By proper I mean not tossing and turning till 3am or 5am in the morning and then only falling asleep. But then only to wake between 10am to 12pm. Ish.. I feel tired yet unable to sleep. Why I wonder..

I also recently started retraining my doggie. After not being able to attend to her much this whole year, I've started making time to do what I should do. What sorta push me to this was I realize my poor baby doggie was being underfed and treated unkindly. Ish ish!! I am so gonna turn that around before I leave without it. Aihz... So gonna miss it. But good news~ After one week of nursing and playing, its back to its jolly plump old self ^^!! *yippeee*

Sad news from that is.. I got my terrible allergies (for fur) back T.T... Been sneezing quite a lot, this is so not fun T.T!! But watching my doggie grow back to its plump hyper self makes me feel soo happy.

I'm kinda tired now... But all I seem to be doing is yawning while my mind is still quite active. Ish ish~ 1/8 of the clothes left to arrange.

I used to say that if you can't fall asleep means God wanna talk to you and spend time with you. I wonder could this apply... Hm...

Loves~

I Have A Dream by Abba

2010-12-19T13:48:00.002+08:00

I have a dream, a song to sing

To help me cope with anything

If you see the wonder of a fairy tale
You can take the future even if you fail
I believe in angels
Something good in everything I see
I believe in angels
When I know the time is right for me
I'll cross the stream - I have a dream

I have a dream, a fantasy
To help me through reality
And my destination makes it worth the while
Pushing through the darkness still another mile
I believe in angels
Something good in everything I see
I believe in angels
When I know the time is right for me
I'll cross the stream - I have a dream
I'll cross the stream - I have a dream

I have a dream, a song to sing
To help me cope with anything
If you see the wonder of a fairy tale
You can take the future even if you fail
I believe in angels
Something good in everything I see
I believe in angels
When I know the time is right for me
I'll cross the stream - I have a dream
I'll cross the stream - I have a dream

I Have A Dream by WestLife (original is Abba)

Hm.. Having this lyrics go through my head make me feel at peace even though I woke up due to unable to slp. Try googling or youtubing it up. Promise you its really a nice song, even though its one of the oldies. No matter =), it did become famous in Ma Ma Mia if you've watched the show.

Luv

Rei

Repairs Made For Now

2010-12-19T03:28:00.004+08:00

Hey hey~ Its very very late. Well, this is my new layout for my blog. Feeling different eh? =P

For future reference, I will post up this new layout "preview". So yea.. Why it took me awhile? Cause I was too blur to notice some buttons which was just under my nose.

Oh well, legs pain and eyes tired. Symptoms showing... Time for bed =P.

Nite pplz~

Oh~ Feedjit will be facing a few problems. Should b fine soon ;).

Loves
Rei <3

P.s
I just realize how Christmassy this layout looks with all the red, white and pink. Oh well~ =P

Coming back

2010-12-18T22:26:00.002+08:00

Hello hello dear blog~ I know I very on off de. But but.. Will redesign u once again =P. As a new start coz after CNY, its gonna be different yea? Was thinking of doing a post based on Jordin Spark - One Step At A Time, would be good yea? I feel it speaks not just bout love but also our life.

Well, things seems different during this uni hols (no more sch hols). Very very soon lor~

Oh oh!! I've cut my hair too!! So will probably do a post on the stages of hair style i tried this year XD. Well well~ Till then =P

Loves
Rei =P

Getting Better

2010-11-22T22:42:00.003+08:00

Tomoro is the day, and I am here bloggin. Whee? Haha!! Anyway, things are slowly going natural i guess. During the time of studies, everyone feeling pressured, even myself blowing up. Whew~ Glad thts half over. But it was when asking God for peace ever struck me tht i SLOWLY try to enjoy studyin n doing as best as i could.

As we climb to the top, or to the next top hill, we are bound to be stretched and challenged. Are u willing to trade ur worries and risky situations in the hands of someone u cant see but yet wants the best for u??

Hard isn't it? But i'll try. Coz the Lord would not want any of His children to suffer. But to grow strong and Christ-like =).

Nitez ppl~

Loves <3

Ever Thought

2010-11-19T00:34:00.003+08:00

Sometimes don't you wish you have this place where u can shout everything or type everything there and no one you know will ever find out about it?

But somehow its not exactly like tht is it?? There will always be someone tht finds out about it XD. Its just when...

I dunno what I feeling now lar actually. I just feel like typing something out. I also feel like I wanna strangle or punch someone. Ugh... Not sure why all these problems coming NOW. Of all timing.. it had to be now.. True, some ppl have told me not to care but seriously???? I dunno how to not care lar!!! 88 or wateva.. aiyoooh!! Someone either strangle me or let me shake their minds out~

Sry if I sound so un-feminish. But garh!! I think i going crazy jor.. To drive me more crazy, this fella just answered my worst thought. I had been thinking of going back, seriously. But you just seemed so.. So firmed tht u dun wan the mending, u don't believ in the mending, so what am i to do but try to let go??!!!! Omgoodness wei!!!

I wanna throw something now. Haha!! I dunno what I'm thinking~ Jeng jeng kor kor ar!! I think ur right, I should not be too nice to people XD. Got a feeling i gonna get some comments on this by him later but.. I think what you said could be applied now.

Andrew is like being my daddy / older brother, keep checking up on me if i ok even during his birthday >
Uwa~!!! Exam few days from now. Lord, I really dunno how it is gonna be like. What to do what to do?? Obviously study lar!! Lord Lord, give me the words to explain in simple english and not rachel english please XD

Loves~

Wishes

2010-11-11T12:40:00.002+08:00

Oh my oh my, just checked my inbox and I have deleted 255 emails from facebook. Well, to some of you its probably little but to me.. Thats A LOT!!

Funny hw I asked God what this yr's birthday gonna be like. And asked God to have a handful of ppl outside my family to wish me. And God gave me more than a handful, actually.. Seeing the notification on fb, the last time i saw, it was "65++ ppl have written on your wall". So yea, not to mention the surprise calls and sms. I'd say it almost reach 80 or more?

Thanks so much to all my friends ^^. Really appreciate the thought. I didnt wanna post on fb coz some prob nid to study for finals and I didnt really nid ppl wishing me for the sake of wishing me. But still, if you wanna wish, I'd still appreciate ^^. Didnt expect so many to wish, and so many replies to make XD.

Haha~ After that, I oso can see actually I quite pampered XD. Lol!! K lar, actually half half. I am still quite independent.

Anyhow, my birthday was fun for me XD. Grandma bought me ice cream cake. Sisters bought a cheese cake, as much as one of them dislike cheese XD. A group of friends oso surprised me with a cake and card. Got gifts from family, relatives, vince, jason and kawsi. Hm.. What else...

Oh!! And something I DOUBT i forget. I was helping Charlotte with explaining the logic of web programming. Then it hit 12am and I was SOO frust trying to make our frequency same. Explain same thing dunno how many times, she think a n i say b. Haha!! Then tiba tiba, vince called to wish me. I was like.. Its my birthday?? Haha!! Then a min or 2 later, kawsi call oso!! Lol!! Then when I turn back to chat with charlotte, the fella say "oh it 12! happy birthday rachel". Lool... Charlotte made me forget its my bday. Then kena shock by sisters.

Then one of my sis so smart put a present under my pillow while I was aslp. Then when woke up, I ter-felt it. And thought "what my sis thinking of putting newspaper under my pillow".. Haha!! It really felt like a couple of newspaper. Then took it out, of coz wasnt newspaper lar. Just some wrapping tht FELT like newspaper. HAha!!

This bday was really a sweet one =). Thnx everyone who participated ^^. Really appreciate it. All the best in studies and exams yea XD.

Loves~

Something Different

2010-11-07T19:58:00.002+08:00

Another semester about to end. A new beginning will soon open its doors to us again. However this time it seems like the ending and beginning would be different from last semester.

This semester I could say just rushed by. Many lectures were just "like-that", compared to last semester. I wonder whether it had got to do with the time, we ended at 6pm this semester while last semester ends at 4pm. Or could it be due to all the group assignments?

This semester I can say experienced quite a lot of different things. Wont go in depth bout it much. I guess there were many complications and sad things which happened to. Sometimes when these things happen, you just don't know how to think, or what to think.

But hey, its not the end. Well, currently I am really grateful to my friends + lecturers teachings and guidance that I can finish my assignments XD. Hopefully I do well in my finals too =P.

This week is ALL about presentation, so please go easy on me XD. Following week is our finals. Time ot get our nose in our laptops and books. I cant predict what the results are like, unlike last semester where you can have goals.

Also I guess I should still thank someone for showing me whats relationship all about. Its nice and warm knowing there is someone to care and love you. But unfortunately I am not ready for that kind of commitment yet. I'm sorry =).

I sorta promised myself I wont go into anymore BG relationship till i turn 21 ^^. Call me old fashion or whatever but thts a promise I wanna try to keep =). I dun wanna simply give my heart to someone whom i am not sure will be my future husband. Or when I am not ready. I wanna give my future husband the best =P.

Still, thanks for understanding, the fella is still my friend =P. There is nthg wrong with him. He is a really nice guy. But yea, I am just not ready. I dunno how to express "not ready" XD. I just know it.

So yea.. Not getting into a relationship b4 i hit 21.. Hope i can keep tht XD. As for finals, well, I can oni pray for the best. And hopefully my crazily-fun friends wont drag me away from concentration XD. Love u guys still!!! All the best for your finals too!!

Cheers out~
Loves =)

P.s
Thanks oso to my mentors (you know who you are =P), for always walking with me and watching over me XD. Few yrs older, still not too old yet =P. I know how tiresome I can be. Appreciate you guys!! ^^

Hiddens Lyrics

2010-11-06T01:19:00.002+08:00

Ever thought that some lyrics just goes with how you feel? Lol~ I decided to post few parts of it. Of course in FB n msn we would prob post a line of it =P.
Here it goes~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Do you understand how I feel?
Do you get what I think?
I know I am selfish with just my own desires.
Can you tell me what should I do with myself?

With every face that pass, my mask just grows stronger.
But my feelings are wanting to crash and drop.
With every tear that threatens to fall,
I hold them back with a smile and laugh them off with a cry.

I no longer feel like I am free and flying,
a tied down girl, with invisible strings pulling me down.
Why did it turn out like this?

I don’t feel things are the same,
don’t tell me that everything is still the same.
Don’t treat me like I am some stranger,
I can feel it can you see?

With every face that pass, my mask just grows stronger.
With my feelings bout to crash and fall.
The tears I stopped are gonna fall,
I lock myself away to hide my pain and sorrow.
With confusion I wonder what had happened.

My feelings turned confused
but I guess I’ll hold on.
Walking with a shell to block anymore pain.
Let this be the last, no more shall I open till that very day.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Loves~

Rants: On and on and on..

2010-10-18T20:36:00.002+08:00

You know I really don't get it? I really don't get why ppl always seek and assumed the worst of the other? We most of the time say "Hey who are we to judge?" but then again, is assuming a person would be like tht, not only the action of judging, but also the action of bearing false accusations?? Ok fine, maybe that is a too strong word. But hey! Seriously?? You don't even know the person fully, you just assume, whether the person hav or have not cause ONE wrong thing towards you, you go acting like the person is some evil person that is not in ur category.

My goodness!! PEOPLE!!! Have a little TRUST! Have a lil FAITH!!! Goodness.. What is friendship, relationship and etc if YOU DON'T TRUST?????

I know it hurts. I get it that you CANT believe the person could treat u like that. You who are adored, loved and so innocent... My goodness... If u were really that good, at least you could do is forgive the person!!

I really really really don't get it. Whoever is reading this and saying I have never been thru this "betrayal", "traitoring" and etc business.. Well, sorry to burst ur bubble! I have! And many times. And yes!! It bloody hurts! But sorry lar har, ppl whom would CHERISH the relationship are true friends / lovers / close ppl.

I know of a person whom betrayed me thrice, I know of a person who practically hurt me till it soiled my own reputation in a certain place. But guess what??!! Ever thought whether the person did or didn't have true friends? Someone that you could be??

Please... Come on... Hav a lil' trust! Have a lil' FAITH!

If you dun really know them, please please please... Don't talk bout them as if they are so bad. Don't assume the worst till its been really done. Ever thought of how it might soil the relationship?

I have had MANY arguments with friends. And yes many times it healed and broke again. If life was all about daisies and butterflies and sunshine.. Then yes, maybe I WOULD believe the relationships SHOULD not have betrayal. And YES I WOULD BELIEVE THAT DIVORCE SHOULD HAPPEN.

SOME ppl just dun think bout their kids but themselves. Tsk!! Whatever lar, thats a whole different story. Buts yea.. Thats my anger steamed for today.

Ciaoz!

Loves <3 <3

Congrats to SOCIT Table Tennis Team

2010-09-30T22:03:00.004+08:00

oh oh~ Me forgotten to mention!!

CONGRATS TO SOCIT-MASS COMMUNICATION TEAM FOR WINNING IN TAYLORS INTER-COMPETITION FOR TABLE TENNIS!!!!

Hope to hear more winning news for basketball, futsal, volleyball and tennis ^^!!! JIA YOU!!!

Cheers ^^~

Admiration to Inspiration to ..?

2010-09-30T21:39:00.002+08:00

A lil' continuation from the previous post. Like I said before, I think its really great to have someone you admire, why? Coz it starts an interest in you. When you see someone doing amazing things, you tend to be wow. Or you start saying / thinking "I wanna be like that person".

Its really easy to say that. But just doing that, your fire for it can easily die. What should be done next?? In my opinion, go and find out the person's past. What made him or her to be so great as he or she is at present. When you hear their struggles and the efforts they used just to overcome it, I can quite guarantee that it will bless the person hearing. It makes them wanna try it all the more.

From my point of view. Here is the difference. Just reading from a newspaper or seeing the person do awesome things, you will think "I wanna do that too". But the next day u don't feel like it anymore. If you had listen to the person's story, I think that the you will actually do it for a few days, weeks or months. Depending.. But not many can actually do it fully. Not many can keep that fire burning. So what next??

We question ourselves why we give up so easily. It just came to mind but in my opinion. I think Encouragement plays a big part in burning the fire. The reason we need friends and family. Its similar to discouragement. Hearing it just makes u wanna quit it. It destroys your strength and destroys your interest. Encouragement makes you try harder, makes you wanna give your best. Even when failing, if you have the slightest encouragement, you just feel like you wanna push harder. Sometimes whether onot we understand the reason our friends like that certain thing, we should support I guess. It builds character and true friends would love to see their friends happy rite?

Being happy turns any gray day colourful =). Joking with your friends, hearing them shout they've got your back. Don't you have friends like these?

As for family, the people that you've grown since you was brought into this world. The people that are close to u by blood and relationship. Its nice to see them being happy for u when u do something great isn't it? All these pushes someone to be someone greater. To challenge themselves to be better for themselves and others.

Well, I could be wrong. But guess what, its my blog and read its title. Its plainly "Thoughts of the Heart". Hope you guys are encouraged ^^.

Loves~

Behind The Strong Mask

2010-09-29T22:39:00.003+08:00

Hey ppl, I'm back!!! Yes its been very very long. Well, quite long, almost a month since I post?

Well, as I was driving back today and talking to a lil' non-blood related brother of mine. Lol~ I just couldn't help but think that many times we just look up / admire ppl who are strong willed. Strong hearted. Successful and so on. But we lack to see what they did in order to achieve them.

Its true when the ppl say no muscles can be built till you remove a boulder before you. In the same way, no strength can be built without any challenges and hardships that come at us.

Most of the time, it takes sweat, blood, scars, pain and wounds just to be strong. To be the pillar of salt that anyone can lean on. I sometimes wonder, do we rather enjoy having be the pillar, or do we enjoy leaning on them? Its a nice feeling knowing there is someone you can depend on, knowing someone will be there to save you or be with you no matter what. However, I believe that in every person that grows and overflows with charisma of being strong-heart / strong-willed, he or she had to go through tough times in order to be who he or she is today.

For people with talent and skills, I once used to be slightly jealous that they are able to do it so easily. But think again, they have that talent and skill cause they enjoy it. When they enjoy it, they work hard for it. They push themselves to improve behind ppl's back and display them as if its tht easy. I dunno, but sometimes it feels like it XD. Its just a theory =P.

Nothing comes easy int his world. And let me add, just because you believe God is real. Does not mean that your life will be perfect. Does not mean trouble will not come your way. If it comes, yes we are unfortunate. But that does not mean God is testing us or punishing us, maybe in certain situations if u had broken a promise with God. But!! It is your choice in the end whether to what you believe in. But I always believe that just trust God, He will help and bless those who continue to have faith in Him. He is faithful yesterday, today and forever more.

If you lose hope in Him, what more can He do? Its like, Jesus is knocking on your door asking to let Him help you but you refuse, yet you still go around saying God don't wanna help. Weird and funny isn't it?

Life is harsh, I'm trying to go thru it. Its not easy for me, though my mind says its so tough, let it be a reminder that I am still blessed and well off than those who does not have a shelter over their head or a warm blanket to protect them from the cold or a nice meal prepared at the table.

Sweet dreams world~

Love~ <3

Appreciating

2010-08-15T17:17:00.002+08:00

Petty things we argue and fight, while there are people out there who could be losing what is precious to them most. We who have fathers, mothers and siblings, who are still alive and beside us, tend to take them for granted. Is it necessary for everyone to go through what these people went through in order to know how much our family can mean to us?

Why do we have to have war? Everyone is bound to have someone they love and cherish. Sometimes because of our selfishness, there are people out there hurt and at loss because their love ones are no longer around them. Then there are also those that are praying that their love ones return safely. Take just 10 minutes to view this video. If you have a heart, you sure won't regret it.

Download:

FLV MP4 3GP

Loves and Tears~

Teaching

2010-08-14T23:07:00.002+08:00

Anyone who ever thought of becoming a teacher, please do check if you have anger management problem and if your patient enough to deal with not so very smart students. Whenever you propose to teach someone or even agree to teach someone, please be aware that its possible not EVERYONE thinks like you.

I realized one of the reason why students or younger children stop asking adults or teachers questions anymore. If they don't understand things, why do they not ask? True, sometimes it could be because the students or children don't wanna look stupid or less smarter than the rest of the kids. But wanna know another reason I found?

The ones that agrees to teach, or even the people that proposes to teach the student/kid, sometimes forgot to watch their anger and start sayin very discouraging things to the child. (E.g. Why you cannot understand such simple things? Whats so hard bout this?) To be honest, I realize that its becoming a trend. That friends are even speaking to their friends the same way when teaching. Or even older siblings to younger siblings.

And to think many adults wonder why students don't ask questions if they don't understand. You want the child to ask what he/she don't understand. You want them to be really clear they understand. But, if they r still confuse, you go discourage them. How does that help? By discouragin them you make them feel stupider, which was exactly what they wanted to avoid.

But to the youths, we can't always blame the adults. Even in work, a mistake was done in the office, some boss' do discourage their employees when not satisfied with the work. Doing so, the adults could release the anger out on the child.

But you know what, I believe why the adults are like tht in the first place, well, number one the scolding person wanna look smart, wanna feel good and well, show you that they are smarter and higher standard than you. Number two, they just got it while they were a kid themself. What environment you're in, what experience you had, all this shapes you to how you will respond, react and think.

So yea, if only we stop discouraging ppl that are slower to understand, we probably make a difference. I admit, sometimes I myself have discouraged my sister telling her like "How can you not get tht? Its tht easy..". Reason? It felt good. Also, I was running out of patience.

So ppl, if you ever wanna teach. Please don't discourage. Also, check your patience level. Avoid teaching if you can, unless you're really sure you won't destroy the person's confidence level.

Thats it.

Ciaoz~

Loves!!

A New Chapter

2010-08-12T00:27:00.004+08:00

The book of Hebrews is what I have decided to read next. Not sure why but may God leads. As I have put out the verse, Hebrews 2: 14-15. It is somewhat similar to John 3:16. However it explains what He was doing on the cross. The very unconditional love that no one can ever fathom. He loves you, He loves me, and He loves everyone no matter who you are. No matter whether you accept Him or reject Him. He just loves you.

<3 ~

Challenge?

2010-08-10T22:13:00.002+08:00

40 Days Fast and Prayer has started!! Everyone is praying for all over the world to be in peace and harmony. Everyone is hoping to have a brighter future where there is no war. Every youth and child is wondering what their future will be like. So ppl, are you prepared to join us to pray for our nation? For your children's future?

Even as I pray and fast, I wondered what God will challenge me. I wondered if I should do something extra besides praying only. So far I've got 2. Which I hope is enough =P.

When God challenges, I know He doesn't expect me to fulfill it. God never forces, but He does provide you opportunity to experience His amazing-ness. A Spiritual encounter. A relationship deeper than anything in this world.

So yea, here are my 2 challenges, feel free to encourage me, cause no matter how easy it seems to some, its quite challenging for me =P.

1. To post up different verse(s) everyday as encouragement or meaning.
2. To bring this one friend I have in mind to Christ or remember Christ.

Lol!! Friends, dun be offended ^^. I only want you to experience the joy I feel when I experience Him. There is surely a reason why I would like u to join me =).

Thats all for now.

Loves~

You Alone

2010-08-08T22:52:00.003+08:00

Truly Lord You alone are my strength and reason I smile each and every day. Without You I probably would not find as much strength to stand against the new day that comes.

Download:

FLV MP4 3GP
watch here

Lyrics:

Who, oh Lord, could save themselves,
Their own soul could heal?
Our shame was deeper than the sea
Your grace is deeper still

You alone can rescue, You alone can save
You alone can lift us from the grave
You came down to find us, led us out of death
To You alone belongs the highest praise

You, oh Lord, have made a way
The great divide You heal
For when our hearts were far away
Your love went further still
Yes, your love goes further still

You alone can rescue, You alone can save
You alone can lift us from the grave
You came down to find us, led us out of death
To You alone belongs the highest praise

We lift up our eyes, lift up our eyes
You’re the Giver of Life
We lift up our eyes, lift up our eyes
You’re the Giver of Life

<3 ~

Rants

2010-08-08T22:44:00.002+08:00

Everyday I laugh and chat with you, it seems almost we're like so close. However each new day I see your face, I get the feeling of how far behind I am from you. We walk side by side but in my mind u walk ahead. I don't get your thoughts, I don't understand how you think. Sometimes I think your words holds an empty vacuum. Words without meaning. You may not seem competitive, but you yearn to be higher than all of us do you not? Sometimes thinking of a certain thing makes me think of you. Lesser than friends? Rivals? Words words words... Everything seems so complicated. Or maybe its just me =)..

Luvs~~

Over The Limit

2010-08-05T21:19:00.002+08:00

Cant believe my instinct to get sick was actually correct. During the hols I've just been up and about, gettin sick, tanned, lazy and etc. Sick not once but twice. Even so, I've a tendency to always ignore my health, meaning I would still go out as if I'm fine when I'm not.

Uni just started and I got sick again. Unlike being at home in your comfy room, I was stuck in class, listening to not very interesting lectures and tryin to ignore my sickness.

To top it off, went lunch with friends after lectures and started to be drowsy. Its like you are going deaf, not everything ur friends say seems to be intercepting, ur head just aches and you just wanna go home n SLP.

By the time we got back to uni n I was driving home, my mind just seem to go blank. Dangerous to drive at a time like tht ppl!! Trust me. My mind was like just set on gettin home to bed, "almost" not caring who was on the road and how curv-y the road was.

But gettin better now. Thank God I have a day off frm uni today. No classes so far on thurs, I'm so happy!! Fever and sore throat, bad combo and not a nice feeling when ur tryin to slp. Ok, I'm off to bed soon. Still feeling slpy. Tomoro I'm off to uni again. Ta-ta~

Loves~

Broga Hill

2010-07-27T22:59:00.003+08:00

Woots~ The trip to Broga Hill was quite an experience for me XD. Well, last night I couldn't sleep much, I think I only slept for like an hr or so? Haha!! And I thought I was the only one. Body was just so restless!! Not to mention I FORGOT to check Jason's itinerary after he so susah payah go and make for the trip =D. But I just pack on instinct (forgot bring torch.. Hehe!!).

Woke up this morning at 4am, coz guys say they will pick me up frm my hse since they nid passby, hooray for me!! If not I prob dun nid slp d. Haha!! The others had to wake around 3am (PLUS!!) just to meet at Subang n drive up to my place to Semenyih. Awesome~ XD!! Went in 2 cars, the car I went in had Shawn (driver), Geoffrey, Maula n me. Next car had Jason (driver), Yong (his friend we met today) and Sam. Yea... Unfortunately only girl =(.

So yea, we reach destination, the foot of the hill, at 6am I think. Oh!! Here is the Jason's itinerary =D.

4.30am - Meeting point after picking people up. (This applies only for the 2 drivers)
4.40am - Depart to *** to pick Rachel up. It's on the way to Semenyih.
4.55am - Depart from *** to Semenyih.
6.10am - Reach Semenyih. I'm giving extra free time so that we can afford to get lost for awhile just in case. Start hiking.
7.15am - Reach the peak. It has 3 or 4 peaks so you guys can choose which to go.

The rest of the day is up to you guys to decide. We'll be having small breaks in between our hike.

Essential Items Needed:

1. Torchlight. Small/Big doesn't matter, as long as it can help you see the road.
2. 500ml bottle of water. You need water. If you can stand the weight, bring more.
3. Extra cloths. Bring an extra shirt and/or pants if you want. You'll start sweating definitely. Either that or things would get really dirty.
4. Please wear shoes. Something comfortable or sports shoes would be better. You'll need the grip and comfort.
5. Attire would be a comfortable t-shirt and shorts/track bottoms. You won't encounter too much of grass because there is a quite clear cut road to go up.
6. You might want to bring along biscuits or bread in case you need extra energy or if you're hungry.

Car Sitting:

Car 1 - Jason's Car - Sam, Jason, Jason's friend
Car 2 - Shawn's Car - Shawn, Maula, Rachel, Geoffrey

Yes yes, and there you have it. We were QUITE on time =D. We actually reached the peak around 645am. We estimated that it took us..45-50min to climb the first peak. Yes FIRST peak.. Haha!! The view was amazing.. It look almost like lookout point except.. more BIGGER/WIDER XD. The aircond (wind) was so nice~ Shawn nearly slept there, making me tempted to slp too.

It was still quite dark when we reached the peak. So we sat around waiting for the sun to rise. Sadly it got blocked by clouds =(. The sky was like gettin brighter by the sun was still block by clouds. Aihz aihz.. Nvm, since no sunrise, climb next peak lor. Haha!! Few of us were tempted to hike up when we reach the first peak coz the 2nd peak had lots of greenery, look nicer =P. Haha!! Surprisingly, it was MUCH easier to climb compared to the first one. Joke joke then took group photo..suddenly it started to drizzle. Down the hill we go. Seriously.. Its SOOO much easier climbing up than DOWN. When going up I didnt need much help, but when going down.. Haha!! I think I slowed Jason down. Sorry Jason!!

When we reached the foot of the hill again, the guys changed out of their sweaty T-shirts, I find this unfair that guys can change anywhere they want -.-". I had to like sit in the car enjoy aircond while waiting for them to change... Not to mention listening to them joke bout me being lock in the trunk to change or lock in the car with Geoffrey's "towel" to change. Bleh =P!!

Couldn't recognize myself here >.<

Well, when they were done we went makan brunch at McD =D!! Jason took us through a lot of roundings XD. Its like, u-turn here, then curve there, then curve here n u-turn there. Lol!! Poor Shawn XD. I get to change at McD!! Hooray for public toilets!! While eating Geoffrey suggested to go on with movie, Inception. Or his version, "Interception". Lol~ Jason, Sam n Yong sat out of it. Sad~ You guys missed out a lot of fun =P.

We watched at leisure mall, but we reached too EARLY. Earliest movie was 1hr away frm the time we reach thr. So... Yea, I took them on a tour in leisure mall XD. Its my FIRST time seeing guys sooo fascinated by toys. Haha!! We went to all the toys shop, the guys seem to have a phobia of pink shops, and they kept playing with the toys, testing them out, oh n the pillows n dolls... Lol~ (Hope there weren't suppose to be secrets here XD). Sad they didnt bring their camera. Lots of funny pics that could've been taken.

Well, time for Inception!! We were NEARLY late, but was not. Cause Maula thought only 15min passed, but when Geoffrey saw the time, it was actually 45min passed. Lots of difference.. Anyway, we reached the cinema in time. Seats were comfy, Maula said he would try to slp. Haha!! Throughout the show is like suspense n cannot even blink. My eyes hurt for awhile just frm watchin. I think i held my breath too. Haha!! At the end of it, Maula was like wide awake. So was Shawn n Geoffrey. Haha!!

Then yea.. Tht was it for today ^^. Came back. Slp slp~ Dream who-knows-wat. Haha!! But yea.. I rarely hangout with these guys, its been really fun ^^. Thanks guys!! A gud way to start the semester? I think so =)

Loves ^^

Its Foolishness I Know

2010-07-26T21:46:00.007+08:00

Always felt like learning to dance properly you know =P. Its like, theres this urge in me since young to learn hiphop or popping. Just never really made time for it. But whenever I hear songs like these, they just wanna make you get up and dance.

Dancing, I know how some ppl find dance movies crappy or sucky. Sorry lar, but I just really like watching them =P. It makes me smile, its another one of those adrenaline pumps XD.

Even during worship, I just cant help sometimes to wanna dance. Dunno dance, so what do you do? Jump lor XD. Jump jump!! It brings laughter.

Its foolish, but it makes you smile doesn't it? =P

Lord May Your Name Be Praise Each and Every Day with Joy in our Hearts.

Loves~

Running Through My Head

2010-07-25T01:30:00.005+08:00

No matter how many times I felt it, no matter how long I'll feel this way, it somehow till now still yet seems like its not the right time. I know I talk bout this often but really... Aihz.. Unfortunately, it really is one of my often problems. I always thought the reason I always think like this was because I hadn't tried or refrain myself from being in a relationship. But then.. Why can others feel ok? Yet I sometimes yearn to be in one?

Sometimes I wonder whether I am scared of heart break. Another time I would wonder was it because I haven't been in a relationship that's why I always feel this way.... Or is it really.. that my time hasn't come yet. Or that I am not yet ready for such a commitment. Am I scared I can't commit? Ok, that just made me sound like a player. Ugh..

Recently yes, I had nearly taken another step towards "trying" to be in one. Somehow I dunno is it God's timing or what. It didn't happen. And after awhile of solitude, a thought came to me "am I rushing?". Not just that, feelings of thinking to be "single-is-better" comes back again. Lord, Lord, what am I to do.

It is said,

¹⁴For Christ's love compels us, because we are convinced that one died for all, and therefore all died. ¹⁵And he died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for him who died for them and was raised again. - 2Corinthians5:14-15

In other words, no longer should we live as one living to please oneself, but to seek the needs of others first. Thus fulfilling the 2nd greatest commandment I guess, "love your neighbours as yourself".

Later on another verse came to me,

⁹And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, ¹⁰so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless until the day of Christ - Philippians1:9-10

Love in knowledge and depth of insight? Hm.. Don't get it there. To have the knowledge and depth of insight on the understanding of love so that I may be able to discern on how to remain pure and blameless before God on judgement day. Hm.. Possible? I quite get that.. To always remain pure and blameless. Not just pure physically, but pure Spiritually.

A lot of people, well, quite a few always say that when they do not think about their relationship and who they are going to be with, that is mostly the time that they are ready to be in a relationship. All because they are contented with God. They are so.. trusting with everything God does. They just know somehow that God will do something, but they dunno what.

Hm.. Probably sound very immature now. But.. Yea.. Even myself just posting this, I guess that kinda means that I kinda worry? That I haven't fully allowed God to take control? Hm.. All the more, would it mean that its still not time? That I'm not ready? I kinda wonder..

Being blank/"innocent" bout relationship stuff. I wonder is it really that good. I can see it in some ways but some ways sometimes don't look too good either. Wonders~

Anyway, time for bed. Nite~

Loves ♥

*Should I private my blog??*

Difference

2010-07-23T00:57:00.004+08:00

Now why did I change the blog layout to snow.. Actually.. I myself didnt realize that I was putting snow as my background. At first felt like it was a bit cold and (bland?) when I was halfway through. Then I remembered why I put it.. Different.

I always desire to try things differently. No matter how bad I know it will turn out XD. Don't ask me why but I just have that desire to try things sometimes some ppl don't dare trying. Oh, the reason I change was coz I was starting to feel used and normal to this blog. No longer felt like I was owning it. So yea, change.

Anyhow, here is the first idea (felt it was a bit off):

Here is the second (also the current):

Any comments?? Or suggestions?

Loves~

Holidays

2010-07-16T01:57:00.002+08:00

Holiday holiday.. Hm.. Wat have I done.. First 2 weeks were packed with outings. Then followed by few out of the house nights. Oh!! Got a haircut with large perms at the ends. Feels funny without my straight hair >.<.... I miss my straight hair sometimes!! Hm.. Then then, laze at home sick. Felt so... lazy and... lifeless.. Sit in room, on the comp, stare at comp then lie on the bed, read books, walk around the house.. Suddenly found sister's korean drama show. Then watched it non-stop for 2 days, "He's Beautiful". Unsatisfied ending... The lovers couldn't get together cause found out they were step-sister and step-brother. Siblings of the same father but different mother. After the show, was getting better. Decided to COOK. Yes yes... Have been cooking few days now. Cleaning the chicken is quite a nasty job at first. Now getting the hang of it. Other than that... Hm.. Tried my first baked chicken. Came out nicely ^^. Suprisingly, but it was really great. Haha!! Tomoro gonna learn to make that pork fried rice. Yummm~

A bit lazy to upload photos these few blogs nowadays. Hehe~ Bear with me =P

Loves~

What Am I Doing???

2010-07-09T03:25:00.002+08:00

Holidays started, I have been going out. Meeting up with old friends, making new friends, bonding closer with recent friends... Seems like my life quite bz. Busy with what? Busy with ppl in my life.

Part of me wonders.. Like even now? What am I doing with my life? Just coz I decided to focus and give my best in studies to God, does that mean service to Him now comes after studies? Reading the book Nehemiah.. I even just begin to ask myself, "Where had that fire gone to?", "What is my passion now?", even better!! A question just pop into my head.

WHERE IS MY FOCUS??

Well?? Am I ready to stand on my own 2 feet without my parents or those who support me? I sometimes question myself. Another weird thing which recently happened. Dare I test the water that lead me to the path of relationship? How does things now make it different? How do I tell if God is giving green light?

Today went and watch eclipse with Tif and Vince. One part the movie I would like to quote, where Bella's friend was giving a speech. She was saying that in life, we should take risk and chances of going into wrong paths, cause thats how we'll learn. Me thinking, if thats the way life works, there sure is gonna be a lot more of pregnancy cases coming up. Loving and breaking is gonna be a trend that divorce probably won't mean a thing soon.

Hm.. I dunno.. Its like, hearing the BIG 2(!!) coming.. It just feels like thrs is a lot more we nid to consider. Or even just knowing that I might not be living under the same house as my parents for few yrs/months... What would happen?

So many new things I am experiencing each day. What should I expect next?

Loves...++

Considering....

2010-07-02T13:58:00.002+08:00

Wondering if I should blog bout my Penang trip ler? And the BBQ trip ler?? I think if I type.. The post would be veeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy looooooooooooooonnnnnnnnnnggggggggggggg. Lol~ So how ler?

But anyhow, summary of what I did at Penang =P.

27th June
8am - left to Penang
12pm - reached Queensbay mall
3pm - settled in our lil' "home"
8pm - dinner at hawker stall
930pm - watched Toys Story 3

28th June
9am - took a bus to the starting point of pantai kerachut
930am - the hiking begins!!!
11am - me, Geoffrey, Shawn and Ah Siang has reached the beach. Tanning under the sun while waiting for the res.
12pm - HeeSien, Charlotte, Sally and Kawsi reached the beach. Everyone tan under the sun.

+ (Besides tanning) catched crab
+ climbed rocks
+ bury HeeSien
+ draw in the sand
+ create funny walls to block the waves (failed)

3pm - took a speedboat back to starting point (lazy to hike)
4pm - everyone lazing in the rooms
7pm - dinner!! (+ after went to a dunno-wat-place, everyone drank funny alcohol [shared] excluding me and Charlotte)

+ funny thing was, at the room, Charlotte and me were more like the ones drunk. But NO ONE was drunk.

10pm - Pillow Fight / Football

+ Charlotte me and Hee Sien were playin tug-a-war with blankets (oh and we doink Geoffrey with pillow b4 slpin XD)
+ The rest watched football ^^

29th June
9am - slping (supposedly everyone is to wake and eat DIM SUM)
11am - left to eat breakfast (Korean buffet)
2pm - bye bye Penang T.T (and HeeSien.. Lol!!)
8pm - waited for Richard to eat dinner (+ got Haagen Dazs ice cream =P)
10pm - at my hse, Richard, Charlotte, Ah Siang and Geoffrey got "bullied" by sis =P)
1030pm - nite nite all ^^

So yea!! Thats all for the trip. That I so far could remember. Lots of funny things that happened in between. But.. Wait till feel like it ba =P. Pics waiting for Kawsi, Shawn and.. Shawn.. Haha!!

Oh~

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LENNA LAI!!!!!

Its her bday today XD!!

Loves!!

Surprises

2010-06-26T11:02:00.003+08:00

Yesterday was so full of surprises. Ok, besides the exam questions that were of (bad) surprises, I think there were few other things lar.

I really did wanna go for Lenna's Birthday party yesterday, (Lenna do forgive me!!!) but honestly.. I really did calculate the time and everything and I really dun c how I am going to get thr in time. I think I probably be later than Levina. So last few hrs b4 it I canceled out (Ok, you can start sayin how mean I am). Whats the surprise to that? Nt long after I decided that, which was like.. 2hrs b4 my FINAL LAST PAPER OF SEM1 CS, Richard, Geoffrey suddenly say want do bbq at Geoffrey's house which was like..just opposite campus? Lol!! Asked me and Pui Yee then thts when the last min invitations/callouts were done. Sorry to the rest that couldn't come, it WAS really last min.

The funny thing bout that was, it kept raining and stopping during our exams so we weren't sure if the bbq was gonna work out (HAH!!! TOLD YOU SALLY TO WAIT TILL AFTER EXAM TO SEE THE WEATHER!!! =P).

Nt long frm that, I got another surprise. Though I expected someone to be mad, she didn't get mad when she saw me. Maybe she was holding down her anger I dunno. But I guess after what happened the day before, I'm not sure what goes on in her mind, (I admit I am quite scared to find out) but she somehow gave me jelly then went off XD. Lol~ Surprised???

Well, thats all for today's post. BbQ post another day coz too long and too many things happened thr XD. Thanks guys (Sally, Kawsalya, Ke Ying, Charlotte, Geoffrey, Richard, Shawn, Maula and Geoffrey's mom and sis-in-law) for making it awesome!!!

Thank you Lord for letting me meet these wonderful people ^^!!!

Last but not least..

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LENNA!!!!! ^^

Special wishout for you =P.

Loves~

Cutting the Mood

2010-06-25T08:31:00.001+08:00

Sometimes I just don't get some people?? Is it normal for us humans to assume a person to be horrible or something? Without even checking further or finding out the reason and situation behind things, you just assume the worst of the person.. Its just.. I dunno.. Not only does it show that you do not trust the person, it shows to OTHER people and the person him/herself that he/she is a "bad" person and cannot be trusted.

Its really sad.. Cause if me being the person him/herself, it feels like you yourself cannot trust them. I think worse off is when someone you really care and cherish thinks that way bout you. Sigh..

If you have watched "I'm not stupid too", dun ask me why I suddenly bring this up (lol), there was like a part where the son fixed the computer for his dad.

Summary of story:
The dad had a million dollar presentation he had to present to his client. The day before, his computer crashed. That important day, his son woke up early, fixed his computer and brought to him to his office. The conversation is something as below.

Father: Why are you still not at school?
Son: I have fixed your laptop. So I thought I brought it here.
Father: You fix my laptop? Really?
Son: Yea.
Father: You sure you fixed it? Or is it you spoilt my laptop by playing with it so you sent it to the store to be fixed. Next time don't touch my stuff, now go to school.

The father then rushes back to his client apologizing and saying that his laptop is now fixed and can present the presentation, leaving his son dejected, sad, speechless and hurt.

If you were to be doing something good, but only to be ASSUMED as a naughty, rebellious and who-knows-what kind of person. I think you would one day just quit being nice and goody goody and just feel like being what people describe/assume you to be.

It hurts, it sucks and it seriously kills a person confidence and cheerfulness.

I once heard a quote that was saying how killing a person's dream, only causes that person to kill other people's dream. Are we not aware of what words can do?

Seeing people like Joash IS truly amazing. No words of discouragement and hurtful words. Truly a guy that chase after God's own heart.

Well, today last day of exam. Need to push those stu*blip* negative emotions out. Get my head straight. I promise myself to give my best in studies to God this year. Can't go back on that ^^.

Loves~

Running the Race

2010-06-14T07:12:00.003+08:00

Ever thought that maybe running the race doesn't just apply to your walk with God? Somehow even during this hour where many students like myself are studying up for our big test, we grow tired and weary as if we have been running for miles. Stress starts building that weight on our shoulders making us feel heavy and frustrated. Sometimes when these things build up, we all start to feel like giving up or wonder why it doesnt make sense anymore. Few of us start doubting the path we are taking.

Well, for right now, all I know is that I can't do this alone on my own strength. Neither can I start having discouragements or negative thoughts bout what will happen in the future. What I can do is rely on God's strength, put my faith and trust in Him and myself. At the same time, give my utter best in completing this semester.

⁷I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. ⁸Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day—and not only to me, but also to all who have longed for his appearing. - 2Timothy4:7~8

Another thing I realize is that when we what to give or do excellence in our studies and yet serve God.. Lol~ There really seems much less time. So I guess I have to admit that last time.. I really didn't give my best in my studies but spent more time in serving God. For one of the first time.. I actually AIM to do my best in my studies. Aiming high... Lol~ This is so not easy.. But well, should start learning somewhr rite?

Gotta start studies d..

Loves~

P.s
I'd always like to remember that we never run alone. But God put people in our lives to run with us too. Someone in front, behind and above us all the time. The front to lead/pull us, someone behind to push/support us and God above to protect us if anyone stumbles. So dun think you're running alone. =)

Blip?

2010-06-09T17:28:00.002+08:00

So far things been looking up but I dun wanna conclude it tht fast yet. Later go back to the way it was.. Then i seriously speechless. Anyway, what happened was decided to go out with some friends which I'm not sure if thr was misunderstanding between us. But anyhow, went out, the plan was bowling. Somehow... The outing was not bad. By the timie we went home.... We didnt bowl at all =P. The place was jam pack full.

So actually, Goeffrey, you didnt really miss anything XD. But if you count boredom as one.. Then possible lar. We did some minor shopping and "sight-seeing". Richard is staring to remind me of someone love sick. Aihzz.. Lol!!

Cyn and Pui Yee just CANNOT resist teasing each other with each other's pencil box. Cyn - cow, Pui Yee - dog. Me n Ke Ying oso chat chat lor. Lol~ Kawsi was with her childhood friend so didnt really get to hangout much with her.

Arrrr.... Anything else ler?? Hm.. What CAN you respond to a person that just want a relationship for fun ler?? Easy to suggest, not easy to do it out/execute ler.. Ah well.. Finals approaching.. Should not think bout all these too much.

Oh n I can't believe a friend of mine say i look like aunty sometimes -.-". Swtz~

Loves~~

Thankful

2010-06-05T23:33:00.003+08:00

Ok, I know I am suppose to be sleeping but.. I just can't help blogging this post now. I know many times I take people or even God for granted. Knowing how much they have given yet sometimes I do not take the time to appreciate. But somehow just this moment or hr.. I just feel really really REALLY thankful for the friends I have / had.

Honestly speaking, no matter how harsh or heart-breaking things our friends may do sometimes, we are just not perfect. It really hurts and breaks but just thinking back bout all the silly, stupid, funny and awesome times we had together, you just can't help but smile. Come on, dun lie to me but honestly, you can't help smile or laugh at some.

Right now even I CANT figure out how I am gonna complete my assignment (Haha), but few people just did NOT fail to make me smile or laugh awhile before going back to studies. Lol!! Each and everyone of my friends I am thankful for. The ones I rarely chat with or used to chat with or chat lots with, each and everyone made me smile at a certain time. Made me feel that thr is someone out there, that I'm not lonely.

I thank God that I have crossed path with each and everyone of you. I thank God that each and everyone of you are nice people and not scary people XD. Friendly and funny and unique in your own special way.

Thats all =P. Nitez people ^^.

(Thankful) Loves~

Common

2010-06-04T06:43:00.002+08:00

It really hurts when the people you trust hurts you, but you know.. The bible scripted that "no temptation has seized you except what is COMMON to man". Meaning to say, mostly to myself, why do we get so frustrated over things such as these? Why do we let ourselves be sad and distressed by this as if we are the only ones going through it.

As I read a passage from the bible, I didn't realize how the passage really meant to me. Scriptures wrote in 1 Corinthians 10:13,

"No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.".

Then again in my devotion, Psalms 73:1-20.

" ¹Surely God is good to Israel,
to those who are pure in heart.

² But as for me, my feet had almost slipped;
I had nearly lost my foothold.

³ For I envied the arrogant
when I saw the prosperity of the wicked.

⁴ They have no struggles;
their bodies are healthy and strong. ^[a]

⁵ They are free from the burdens common to man;
they are not plagued by human ills.

⁶ Therefore pride is their necklace;
they clothe themselves with violence.

⁷ From their callous hearts comes iniquity ^[b] ;
the evil conceits of their minds know no limits.

⁸ They scoff, and speak with malice;
in their arrogance they threaten oppression.

⁹ Their mouths lay claim to heaven,
and their tongues take possession of the earth.

¹⁰ Therefore their people turn to them
and drink up waters in abundance. ^c]">[c]

¹¹ They say, "How can God know?
Does the Most High have knowledge?"

¹² This is what the wicked are like—
always carefree, they increase in wealth.

¹³ Surely in vain have I kept my heart pure;
in vain have I washed my hands in innocence.

¹⁴ All day long I have been plagued;
I have been punished every morning.

¹⁵ If I had said, "I will speak thus,"
I would have betrayed your children.

¹⁶ When I tried to understand all this,
it was oppressive to me

¹⁷ till I entered the sanctuary of God;
then I understood their final destiny.

¹⁸ Surely you place them on slippery ground;
you cast them down to ruin.

¹⁹ How suddenly are they destroyed,
completely swept away by terrors!

²⁰ As a dream when one awakes,
so when you arise, O Lord,
you will despise them as fantasies."

I probably do get envious when my close friends suddenly grow close to another. Or even when I see people understanding things easier than I do.

Then again, continuing from the passage above, Psalms 73:21-28. This is what hits me most.

" ²¹ When my heart was grieved
and my spirit embittered,

²² I was senseless and ignorant;
I was a brute beast before you.

²³ Yet I am always with you;
you hold me by my right hand.

²⁴ You guide me with your counsel,
and afterward you will take me into glory.

²⁵ Whom have I in heaven but you?
And earth has nothing I desire besides you.

²⁶ My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart
and my portion forever.

²⁷ Those who are far from you will perish;
you destroy all who are unfaithful to you.

²⁸ But as for me, it is good to be near God.
I have made the Sovereign LORD my refuge;
I will tell of all your deeds."

Knowing how bitter my heart can be at times. God still never forsake me. Yet He waits on the doorstep or at the edge of my bed waiting for me to spill or run to Him. He does not expect a lot out of me, He does not expect me to be strong and emotionless to things as these. But He promises to always wait by my side and guide me if I let, and strengthen me if I call.

Just reading this reminded me of where I stand and why did I took that step to accept Jesus as my Lord and Saviour. It sometimes can slip our mind especially at our weakest moment (when we are sad, distress and unhappy). Tht's cause the devil uses those moments to attack. Again I quote from the scriptures where God reminds us again and again that our suffering is not us alone, but is common to man.

" ⁸Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. ⁹Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings." ~ 1Peter 5:8-9

So there we go. Not sure what I will do now cause I really dunno what response I should give.. But I guess somehow God will show. Pray, trust and believe ^^.

Loves~

Spam

2010-06-03T23:10:00.002+08:00

Just so sick of it. Not knowing what you did wrong. And they go speaking bout you behind your back and ignoring you. Not enough, they say you have change and joke bout you and your personality or confusion. Still NO IDEA what they dislike about, then they just walk off on you. These are friends? These are what we suppose to consider friends till the end or who knows what?

I dunno is it me.. or is it just plain you can't trust friends for more than 2 months. Coz after that.. I just dunno what d. Dry of tears. Too full to hold anymore hurts. Enough headache that probably did too much thinking.

No one wanna clear it. I've tried startin a conversation to clear. But NOBODY wanna explain. Nobody cares bout the bond anyway. If people think that "aiya, dun say lar. Just ignore it" is gonna solve it or keep the person in well condition. Its not. They just DO NOT GET WHAT IS GOING ON!!!

Argh!! Seriously!! Right now I'm just so messed up that I'm typing whatever in here. So yea, to the PERSON. I've ALREADY ignored all your comments. I've DELETED every single thing I said to you so stop being perasan bout me replyin you when I'm not!! Though it can be a group chat. I'm IGNORING YOUR COMMENTS. I've lost the interest to REPLY you unless you call me first. IF you still DO continue reading my blog. STOP IT!! Especially if you're just gonna insult or make fun out of it. You think only you hate certain things? IT was only ONE thing while you say A LOT to me. I've settled saying everything.

Its either I will feel like this tomoro or I will just forget all this. So yea.. Today is spam the blog day. One strange way of lettin out.. Forgive me but...

...../......~

Funny Thing

2010-06-03T14:19:00.002+08:00

Strange how we humans are? We all dislike being discourage, insulted or criticized but yet we do it to others. Somehow we flare up, get into rage, get hurt, going emo and bitter when others oppose to everything we say or make negative comments at everything we do. Hm.. But yet we tend to do it to others.

Something we love or enjoy, just because people criticize, we either stop doing it or we distance ourselves from them. Then, they asks us why we so emo. Or why we so touchy. And the fussing starts.

I do admit that I'm the kind that treats people the same way they treat me. So if ur like all sarcasm, I sometimes do talk back sarcasm to you. If you are the serious type, then I'll just be serious with you. Some people I guess they will ask or say that I am people pleasing? But.. I guess.. in my point of view its just adapting to your environment so that YOU wont feel uncomfortable. Lol!! But it really doesnt last long.

When I think we are comfortable with each other, then I'll open up and be less "sarcastic" or hyper. But the more caring friend. However, I guess to some people it doesnt work out coz they think I'm the joke then. Lol!!

Are we willing to understand others when they don't bother listening to you??

Loves~

What Do You Bring?

2010-06-03T11:16:00.002+08:00

I know sometimes we don't think bout it. And yea.. It tends to just bury away in the back of our heads but.. Besides caring, what else do we bring to our friends, family and others?

Do we bring faith or faith-less?
Do we bring hope or make them hope-less?
Do we bring joy or sadness?
Do we bring light or pull them deeper in darkness?
Do we bring life? Or death?

Though we care and show concern.. Anything else? What else did we say that could've brought something?

Loves~

Fitting Moments

2010-05-29T21:47:00.002+08:00

Lol!! I'm just bad at giving names for things. But anyhow, this is a post bout what happened on Friday at uni. Nothing much special. Went to uni, saw Sally n Charlotte, found out no more sockets (the uni seriously need to fix more as its a UNI!! Thousands of student study there!! With laptops!!) then we were thinking on what to do. Waited for the guys, our seniors (Vince n Wai Hong) came, thank God they had extensions. Then Ah Siang n Geoffrey, who knows how Sally came up with this weird idea of asking me instead of the guys to kindly ask a group of student to shift elsewhere since they not using the sockets. Lol?

Well, anyhow, dunno is it my charm or Geoffrey's stare tht cause them to agree =P. Haha!! So yea, Richard came after, forgetting to buy our lunch. Aihzz.. Then we all just do our work lar. Towards the end, my assignment just didn't make sense. Lol!! Didnt know I suppose to turn off the keyboard echo (ignore if you dun get it =P). Soo... I decided to restart. Oh, n Charlotte, Sally n Richard as well as Geoffrey so kindly went out to buy our lunch =D.

This is where i did things without thinking. Tsk tsk.. Knowing how COLD the room already is. And I was ALREADY wearing a jacket... I STILL went and so silly-ly drank a COLD coke. Silly right? When I went back into the room, a COLD chill hit me. I was like, "Hey, could be bcoz I just step in from the outside.", then realising that with every minute I stayed in the room, I started gettin shivers, which turned to chills, which I couldnt stop shivering. It got so bad, I couldnt talk right without repeating a syllable. And Richard didnt even realise it -.-". Aihzz.. Lol!! N he said I died even I put my head on the table. Swt!! Haha!! Anyhow, Vince kept giving me the stare and asking if I needed an extra jacket. Awkward-ness.. I was like awkward, wanting to get out, yet having those uncontrollable fits-like cases.

So yea, worried tht I wouldnt be able to drive home properly, so I prayed n prayed n prayed. I didnt turn on the air conditioner in the car. First time, welcoming the warmth frm the car for being under the hot sun. Lol!! N just drove home. Got home safe, it was time to go church =P.

So yea!! Been worrying uselessly of my assignment. And yea!! Had to chill the brain, so I type this and now tht I'm better, time to do my CO (Computer Organisation). Haha!!

Loves~

Assignments Assignments Assignments..

2010-05-26T21:46:00.002+08:00

Goodness!! Believe it or not, I ACTUALLY stayed in uni till 8pm XD. Oh my!! LOL!! At first I didnt think tht I would but.. yea.. I guess when it comes down to finishin assignments and doing well, you're almost determined to just bout anythin XD. I said ALMOST XD.

Goodness!! You wont believe how amazing I felt to hear some ppl say tht hearing others say "LETS GROUP TOGETHER AND FINISH OUR ASSIGNMENT" could feel the same pressure I feel. Lol!! I dunno bout some of you. Its fun, seriously. But when too many ppl... I just dun feel the same. Its like, if there are those who understands and complete faster than u, u feel discouraged. However if you are understand faster than some ppl, its awkward when they say "Hey!! You finish so fast!! Smart ler..." then they give that sad face and say "Aihzz.. I still dunno how to do.". Lol!!

Then again, not doing in a group... You tend to wonder if the others have completed and you havent. Then you start wondering "Oh my goodness, am I really missing something? Why cant I do this? Didn't I study just as much as they did?". Well oh well..

Anyhow.. Looks like I'll be staying in uni till late again tomoro XD. Then going to uni again on Friday though its a holiday and though its SUPER far frm home. But yea!! Lets just finish these 2 MONSTROUS assignments XD.

After tht.... Lol!! After oni look at finals lar. Hehe~

Loves~ ^^

Enough is Enough

2010-05-26T13:15:00.004+08:00

Tired of emo-ing,
Tired of being angry,
Tired of rejection,
Tired of dejection,

Tired of being depressed,
Tired of annoyance,
Tired of discouragements,
Tired of lies,
Tired of saying "4",

Tired of sarcasm,
Tired of hurts,
Tired of frustration,
Tired just means tired,
So enough is enough..

Loves~

Friends

2010-05-25T23:52:00.002+08:00

Assignments are piling up / increasing. Finals are approaching. Nerves are breakingout.. Hm.. Having lesser and lesser time to blog. Either tht, come to blog and nthg to type bout.

Aihzz... Is it me.. or...? Having friends from different group that shares different interests.. Is that bad?? In my life, of course you have friends from primary school, secondary school and kindergarten. Everybody has that right? Ok so how bout clubs and society friends. In high school you are already scheduled some part of your time to meet friends with similar interests. How I miss those times.. Its not easy to find that in university. Its like, when everyone free, then oni hav meet ups. Either tht, wait till an event comes lar. Or worst still, their meetings is during ur class hour or its too late, so you cant go.

Doi Adoi!! Not that I'm saying its boring to just have friends from your course but.. Interests?? If they dun get your interests, are you not gonna continue with it?

Hm.. adding on to the group of friends I have, theres table tennis friends. EVERYBODY has different break hours. So how often do I get to meet them? An hr for those that REALLY have opposite timetables as I do. They make time to come and fellowship/bond/play. Sometimes I dun even c them through the week(s). Aihzz.. Dun count the business ppl lar =P, they all super free, of course I will c them slightly more often.

Tambah lagi... Christian Fellowship friends!! My sisters and brothers in Christ XD. I c FEW of them every 30min b4 class starts. Then everyone in CF for 2 hrs A WEEK!!! Bonding?? Hardly!!

Lets keep adding.. Friends which I met from just being in ECA/Student Life Centre. Lol!! I HARDLY SEE THEM.

Now how bout my course friends. I SEE YOU PPL 23hrs a week!! MAX 27hrs a week!! One of you, you know who you are =P.. 33hrs a week!! LOL!! U tell me ler!! Compare tht with my other friends.. You still say I dun spend enough time with you guys? U making it sound as if neglect u all... Sometimes making it sound as if I am "ditching" you all. Say what?? Aihzz... Last time when it was fun n no-problem, thinking of games or ways to keep us all awake is easy. Now... Using them and.. I dunno.. I really just wanna give up. Ignore lar.. I will just keep silent.

I dunno if it really hurts others sometimes, and I dunno it. Or either tht, coolz, they dun show it. Awesome masks they put on everytime. Between us..? I dun feel friendship anymore.. More like, you wan come, then join lar. Dun wan, no diff to us.

Aihz.. either tht... I'm just plain weird =P. A jealous girl, who bothers to get jealous when ppl steals her friends. A emotional girl, who likes to cheer ppl up, yet easily feels dejected. An imperfect girl, who sometimes / most of the time just see that God is probably who she ONLY needs. Not friends, not relationship, not bonds.

If any of you feel insulted or irritated reading this, I apologize but feel free to NOT read coz the blog title says it all... "Thoughts of the Heart". Everything here is sincerely from the heart.

Also to those who still stand by me as friends, best friends or non-blood siblings. Love you and thank you for everything (patience, joy, sharing, guidance, etc)!! ^^ You know who you are!!!

Loves~